Maxi Vision For Mini Series

The Blair Bitch Project!

2009-12-01T00:58:00.007+02:00

She is not a college girl anymore..

Leighton Meester

Gossip Girl Season Three

2009-11-29T20:33:00.004+02:00

Season 3, Episode 1: Reversals of Fortune
Original Air Date—14 September 2009
As the summer is drawing to a close, Blair and Chuck are madly in love and adjusting to their new "in a relationship" status, breaking all the traditional rules of dating as would be expected. Serena returns from her European adventure with many secrets to hide and a complicated relationship with Carter Baizen. Nate returns from his travels with a mysterious brunette, Bree Buckley in tow. Rufus, Dan and Jenny spent the summer in the Hamptons, adjusting to the van Der Woodsens' glamorous lifestyle surprisingly faster than any of them expected. Meanwhile, Vanessa begins a relationship with Scott, not knowing that is the lost brother of Dan and Serena.

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Season 3, Episode 2: The Freshmen
Original Air Date—21 September 2009
Blair, who is determined to maintain her Queen status in college, embarks on her first day at NYU, along with Dan and Vanessa. Unfortunately, Georgina turns up as Blair's roommate in the dorms, determined to make Blair a social outcast. As Serena prepares to depart for Brown, she and Chuck have a major falling out, so she recruits Chuck's enemy, Carter, to help her get even. Nate and Bree decide to explore their relationship further, knowing full well that it could cause tension between their families who are political rivals.

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Season 3, Episode 3: The Lost Boy
Original Air Date—28 September 2009
It's an Upper East Side face-off when Blair and Chuck both set their sights on a particular item up for bid at Sotheby's and the personal stakes are high. Serena suspects that Carter may be up to his old habits, Georgina takes an interest in Dan, and Vanessa begins to suspect that something isn't quite right with Scott.
Season 3, Episode 4: Dan de Fleurette
Original Air Date—5 October 2009
On the first day of school at Constance Billard, Jenny is forced to make her rightful place as the new Queen Bee of the Mean Girls. Unfortunately for Jenny, Blair is more than happy to intervene when news reaches her that Jenny may need her help. Meanwhile, Lily finally returns home to Rufus and her family to find that things are definitely not as she left them, especially after learning that Serena has decided against going to Brown University. Elsewhere, a famous teenage movie actress, Olivia Burke, enrolls at NYU and is assigned as Vanessa's new roommate in which Olivia hopes for a somewhat normal college experience. Also, Olivia's best friend Ursula, another actress co-starring in Olivia's latest movie, befriends Serena.

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Season 3, Episode 5: Rufus Getting Married
Original Air Date—12 October 2009
Lily and Rufus decide to move up their wedding to the next day, but a series of complications threaten to tear them back apart again. Meanwhile, Chuck discovers a secret that Carter has been keeping from Serena which involves Nate's girlfriend Bree and her family whom are out to get Carter. Dan and Vanessa are pulled into one of Georgina's schemes when she threatens to ruin Lily and Rufus' wedding by revealing the secret about Scott Rosson as their illegitimate son. Also, Blair is suspicious of Bree and shares her concerns with Nate that she may have an agenda regarding him and Carter.

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Season 3, Episode 6: Enough About Eve
Original Air Date—19 October 2009
Vanessa and Blair both take to scheming to be given the honor of giving the freshman toast at NYU. Meanwhile, Serena and Nate try their hand at poker in hopes of winning Carter back from the Buckleys, and Dan wants to introduce Olivia to Rufus and Lily.
Season 3, Episode 7: How to Succeed in Bassness
Original Air Date—26 October 2009
Chuck decides to move up his hotel nightclub's opening and enlists Serena's help to get the word out to her celebrity clients for publicity reasons. Feeling left out of the planning, Blair attempts to win Chuck's approval by secretly helping him with a problem concerning opening night. Meanwhile, Dan is unnerved when he finally watches one of Olivia's infamous simulated sex scenes in one of her movies with co-star and real-life boyfriend at the time, Patrick Robinson. Jenny is forced to choose between her friendship with Eric and her new role as Queen Bee of Constance Billiard since she and the Mean Girls are not required to have any friends, except the ones their own vicious and cynical circle. Elsewhere, Rufus gets Lily into the Halloween spirit by taking her out to a costume party.

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Season 3, Episode 8: The Grandfather: Part II
Original Air Date—2 November 2009
Olivia says something she regrets during her appearance on Jimmy Fallon's TV talk show and tries to keep Dan from finding out. With the local election day around the corner, Nate suspects that his grandfather will stop at nothing to get his cousin Trip elected to congress. In the midst of another feud with Serena, Blair befriends a new "it" girl and takes her to an election night party at Chuck's hotel, hoping to make Serena jealous.

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Season 3, Episode 9: They Shoot Humphreys, Don't They?
Original Air Date—9 November 2009
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Season 3, Episode 10: The Last Days of Disco Stick
Original Air Date—16 November 2009
Hoping to impress the elitist theater kids at NYU, Blair sets her sights on landing a private concert with the hottest musical performer of the year, Lady Gaga. Meanwhile, Dan and Olivia sign up to write and star in a school play, based on an idea by Blair and directed by Vanessa. With Blair out of the picture, Serena turns to Nate to help her get through a difficult situation. As a favor to Chuck, Jenny agrees to hang out with Damien, the son of an ambassador who is staying at Chuck's hotel, but the experience proves to be a lot more intriguing than she expected.

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Season 3, Episode 11: Treasure of Serena Madre
Original Air Date—30 November 2009
As Thanksgiving draws near, Blair suspects her mother, Eleanor, has been keeping a big secret from her, but it turns out to be something else entirely. Meanwhile, Vanessa is supposed to spend Thanksgiving with her parents, but has a fight with her picky and estranged mother and she ends up going to Dan's dorm room. Rufus discovers that Lily has been lying to him about the true nature of her mother Cece's health. Chuck tells Nate that he has some potentially damaging information about one of their friends. Elsewhere, Jenny learns that Eric was behind her very public embarrassment at Cotillion and can't pass up a chance to get even with him in the most cruel way, which makes her appear even more vile and twisted than everyone else around her. Also, Serena is put in a very awkward position when Lily invites Trip and his wife, Maureen, to join them for Thanksgiving dinner at their penthouse, and Maureen may know a lot more about what is going on between Trip and Serena than she claims to.

Gossip Girl Season Two

2009-11-29T20:15:00.008+02:00

Season 2, Episode 1: Summer Kind of Wonderful
As the summer of the Upper East Siders comes to a close, Blair returns from her summer trip to Europe with a charming new boyfriend, named James, just to make Chuck jealous when she takes him to the Hamptons to spend the last few weeks of the summer with her. However, 'James' is hiding a secret of his own from everyone. Serena, struggling to get over her breakup with Dan, takes a liking to a young lifeguard. Meanwhile, Nate gets involved in a steamy relationship with an older woman, named Catherine whom is married. While Rufus is still on tour with his band, Dan has remained in New York to take a job with a demanding magazine editor, and has gone on a dating spree to get over his breakup with Serena, while Jenny has taken a job at a fashion company working under the cynical, devil-incarnated Laurel, who holds Jenny back for she sees ambitious interns as a threat to her own job.
Season 2, Episode 2: Never Been Marcused
Original Air Date—7 September 2008
As Blair struggles to adjust herself to her British boyfriend, Lord Marcus Beaton's ways, he introduces her to his parents, where the identity of Lord Marcus' mother is revealed. At the Beaton party, Chuck tries to make Blair jealous when he shows up with Catherine, Nate's secret love interest. Meanwhile, Nate and Serena get closer while he tries to keep far away from Catherine, while Serena begins to have doubts about re-staring her romance with Dan. Chuck and Marcus Beaton begin an unexpected friendship, and Blair makes a revelation.
Season 2, Episode 3: The Dark Night
Original Air Date—15 September 2008
Serena and Dan are trapped in an elevator during a citywide blackout which makes them trying to work out their differences. Meanwhile, Marcus and Blair have problems of their own which is passion. Chuck realizes that he has problems in having no passion with women other than Blair. Elsewhere, Nate struggles with his feelings for Vanessa and Catherine.
Season 2, Episode 4: The Ex-Files
Original Air Date—22 September 2008
When Dan starts getting cozy with Amanda, the new girl at school, Serena turns to Blair and her minions to step in to sabotage her chances. Vanessa also enlists Blair's help when she finds out a scandalous secret about Catherine.
Season 2, Episode 5: The Serena Also Rises
Original Air Date—29 September 2008
As Gossip Girl narrates the so-called Fashion Week where the students of the Upper East Side gather for the annual fund raiser, Blair becomes angry with her mother when she gives Serena and her new socialite friend, Poppy Lifton, front row seats to the Eleanor Waldorf Fashion Show. Hurt and betrayed by both Serena and her mother, Blair decides to sabotage the show. Meanwhile, Dan, also humiliated and shunned by Serena (who has fully returned to her former bad-girl self), starts hanging out with Chuck and his life of parties. Dan quickly learns that living the life of the dark side has its risks. Also, Lily learns a secret that her new husband, Bart Bass, has been keeping from her.
Season 2, Episode 6: New Haven Can Wait
Original Air Date—13 October 2008
Serena decides to visit Yale and gets even with Blair. Dan learns that none of his recommendation letters made it to Yale.

Season 2, Episode 7: Chuck in Real Life
Original Air Date—20 October 2008
Vanessa begins her own slide on a dark path when she tries to blackmail Blair into being a nicer person, with the photos she took of Catherine and Marcus. Blair then seeks revenge by convincing Chuck to try to seduce Vanessa to steal her phone camera. Meanwhile, Lily and Bart throw an extravagant housewarming party and expect their children to make them proud, but the Serena do not want to follow the rules when she correctly suspects Bart to be influencing Lily to do what he wants for business and self-interest. Elsewhere, Dan and Jenny discover a big secret that Nate has been keeping from them.
Season 2, Episode 8: Pret-a-Poor-J
Original Air Date—27 October 2008
Jenny has a new young model friend, named Agnes, who encourages Jenny to explore her wild side, and also to confront Eleanor Waldorf who is planning to steal Jenny's designs in order to pass them off as her own. Meanwhile, Serena and Dan attend Rufus' latest art opening as friends, but then Serena meets an artist, named Aaron Rose, and the evening gets a little uncomfortable for Dan. Elsewhere, Blair attempts to seduce Chuck, but he proves to be tougher than she ever imagined. Also, Jenny begins to have a mutual feelings with Nate as he's staying with her, Dan, and Rufus while searching for a place to live.
Season 2, Episode 9: There Might be Blood
Original Air Date—3 November 2008
Serena invites Aaron to be her guest at a charity gala honoring Lily and Bart, but after discovering a secret that Aaron has been keeping from her, Serena begins to question whether Aaron is the guy she thought he was. Hoping it will help her chances of getting into Yale, Blair naively agrees to babysit the 15-year-old daughter of a prominent Yale donor. But the teenager, Emma, proves to be more than a handful and Blair begins to suspect that the evening may actually wind up hurting her chances of getting into the college of her dreams. So, Blair forces Serena and Chuck to help her find the trouble making teen when she takes off. Meanwhile, Vanessa discovers the relationship between Nate and Jenny, in which Jenny is planning with Agnes a guerrilla fashion show by crashing Lily and Bart's gala with th hope that it will either launch Jenny's career or ruin her chances of ever being accepted by the industry. Dan angrily tells Nate to move out of the apartment, while Rufus tries to deal with the rebellious Jenny.
Season 2, Episode 10: Bonfire of the Vanity
Original Air Date—10 November 2008
Blair is against the idea of her mother, Eleanor, with a new man in her life, named Cyrus Rose, and she in her natural and evil ways, does everything in her power to make it impossible for them to be together by trying to break them up when Cyrus throws Blair a party for her 18th birthday. Meanwhile, Jenny and Agnes move in together against Rufus protest, while they try to look for a buyer in the wake of Jenny's fashion show. But when Jenny goes behind Agnes back to exclude her from their business when Agnes cannot be counted on for her slacking off, Agnes learns about Jenny's betrayal and retaliates by setting fire to all of Jenny's designs and throws her out onto the street. Elsewhere, Serena and Aaron fall for each other, but something about Aaron threatens to ruin their new relationship as well as Aaron's father whom happens to be Cyrus. Also, Dan and Chuck are at war again due to Dan's true interest in Chuck's father Bart over his past business deals.
Season 2, Episode 11: The Magnificent Archibalds
Original Air Date—17 November 2008
As Thanksgiving draws near, Blair looks forward to spending the holiday with her family. But her disappointment only begins when her father, Harold, is delayed in trying to leave Europe, and Eleanor's new boyfriend, Cyrus, takes over planning the traditional Thanksgiving feast. Blair also learns that Cyrus plans to propose marriage to Eleanor, which prompts her to run into the company of her Polish maid, Dorota. Serena continues to hide her sordid past from Aaron after he tells her that he too is a recovering alcoholic and party guy. Meanwhile, Dan asks Lily to help intervene in the continuing feud between Jenny and Rufus when Jenny crashes at Lily's penthouse and confides in her that she has decided to file a petition to become legally emancipated from her father. Eric also learns from Chuck about Bart's investigation and files he keeps on everyone to keep everyone and everything under his iron thumb. Elsewhere, Nate's fugitive father, Howie 'The Captain' Archibald, arrives in town to visit him and his mother with an offer to live a life of luxury as fugitives, while Vanessa gets caught up when the authorities comes to call her on Mr. Archibald's whereabouts after he's spotted re-entering the country.
Season 2, Episode 12: It's a Wonderful Lie
Original Air Date—1 December 2008
The teens prepare for the annual Snowflake Ball, a charity event for prep school seniors.
Season 2, Episode 13: O Brother, Where Bart Thou?
Original Air Date—8 December 2008
The entire Upper East Side of Manhattan is rocked when Bart Bass dies suddenly in a limo accident. Serina and Eric takes the news very calmly while Lily has a troubling time despite her mother, Cece's, awkward attempts to comfort her. Chuck begins to blame Lily for his father's death and threatens to reveal a secret that Bart found on her before his accident. Meanwhile, Blair's mother, Eleanor, prepares her latest marriage to Aaron's father Cyrus.
Season 2, Episode 14: In the Realm of the Basses
Original Air Date—5 January 2009
Because Chuck has been missing since his father's funeral, his Uncle Jack, Bart's younger brother, arrives in New York to help Lily find and help him. Trying to forget her last unpleasant conversation with Chuck, Blair focuses on being accepted into the most prestigious ladies club in the city, the Colony Club. Meanwhile, Jenny returns to school at Constance Billard and immediately takes on Penelope, Hazel, Nelly, Isabel, and the rest of the mean girls. But Jenny is not willing to go down without a valiant Gossip Girl-worthy fight against these bullies.
Season 2, Episode 15: Gone with the Will
Original Air Date—12 January 2009
At the reading of Bart Bass' will, Chuck is bequeathed the majority share of Bass Industries, but Jack soon manipulates Chuck into giving him the company. Chuck decides to take over the company after being persuaded by Blair. Blair throws a surprise party for Chuck and invites the board of the Bass company. Jack sabotages the party leading the board to elect Jack as the president. Meanwhile, Rufus and Lily travel to Boston to look for their out-of-wedlock son by trying to make contact with the adoptive parents, but they are eventually deceived into thinking their child is dead. Back in New York, Serena's relationship with Dan is almost ruined when she finds out about the half-sibling she shares with him.
Season 2, Episode 16: You've Got Yale
Original Air Date—19 January 2009
Serena, Blair, Dan, and the rest of the seniors try to find out who is worthy of an early admission to Yale. Serena discovers that she has been accepted, but concedes the acceptance to let Blair take the position because of what Blair will do as a result. Serena also connects with a young new Shakespeare teacher, Rachel Carr, who has no clue about what is going to happen when she gives Blair the first 'B' grade in her life, but Blair soon comes to learn that she may have met her match against this latest addition to her school. Meanwhile, Chuck reluctantly joins forces with Lily in his war against his manipulative Uncle Jack over controlling Bass Industries. Also, Nate and Vanessa plan to take their romance public by attending a romantic night date at the opera, while Lily wants to do the same with Rufus despite his loathing of the wealthy high-society world, and of her reputation in the community over recent events.
Season 2, Episode 17: Carnal Knowledge
Original Air Date—2 February 2009
The twisted Blair plans a cruel revenge against her teacher, Rachel Carr, for her one bad grade, but has problems getting her posse of mean girls to rally for support since they are not keen to taking on a teacher. So, Blair starts a rumor that Miss Carr and Dan are romantically involved, which creates a firestorm of gossip, and she has her father, Harold, to back her up. But the final blows comes when Serena sees Dan and Rachel meeting at a local coffee shop and jumps to the wrong conclusion which Blair sees off her greatest victory, but also her most bittersweet one. Meanwhile, Chuck calls upon Nate and Vanessa for help when he wakes up in a strange hotel room and seek out a mysterious woman he met at a mysterious secret society party the night before which may had drastic consequences for him.
Season 2, Episode 18: The Age of Dissonance
Original Air Date—16 March 2009
As Constance Billiard prepares for the annual school play of 'Age of Innocence' the frantic production threatens to break the whole school apart as, Dan continues to ignore Serena and continue his dirty tryst with Rachel Carr. When Blair learns that her acceptance into Yale went to Nelly, she suspects Serena of leaking info about her detention stint, while Serena blames Blair of babbling about her own problems. But the real culprit it Rachel who is seeking to get back at Blair for destroying her career. Rufus and Jenny learn about Dan's relationship with Rachel Carr and try to force him to end it. Nate becomes jealous when he thinks that Vanessa is flirting with the play director Julian, while it is Serena who has the crush and asks Vanessa for pointers Meanwhile, Chuck becomes more intrigued and frustrated as he tries to dig deeper into the mystery about his late father and what connections he had with the super-secret underground society which leads him to try to find the shadowy Elle, who warned him about investigating the secret society.
Season 2, Episode 19: The Grandfather
Original Air Date—23 March 2009
Devastated by the recent plot twist in her life, Blair turns her back on her predictable Waldorf existence in favor of a wild, unpredictable lifestyle that includes Carter, causing Serena and Chuck to have serious concerns about their friend. Vanessa convinces Nate that it may be time to forgive and forget when it comes to his mother's Kennedyesque family, The Vanderbilts, who abandoned Nate and his mother when they needed them most. Elsewhere, in a misguided effort to be completely honest with each other, Lily and Rufus agree to share lists of their past lovers.
Season 2, Episode 20: Remains of the J
Original Air Date—30 March 2009
Serena decides to throw Jenny an intimate party for her 16th birthday, but things get out of control when Serena's friend Poppy Lifton, returns and turns the small gathering at the van der Woodsen apartment into a huge social event. Meanwhile, Vanessa agrees to help Chuck with a scheme that will make Blair and Nate jealous... and they end up having sex in the process. Also, Rufus learns that Dan and he will not receive financial aid at Yale and tries to figure out another way to cover the cost of his education, in which Lily offers to help. Elsewhere, Dan receives a letter from Boston from Rufus and Lily's illegitimate son wanting to meet with him.
Season 2, Episode 21: Seder Anything
Original Air Date—20 April 2009
Serena returns from her week-long trip to Spain with Poppy and Gabriel. But Serena becomes worried that during the hard partying in the country, she thinks she may have gotten married to Gabriel by accident. Meanwhile, Blair makes a secret deal with Nate's grandfather, William, to influence Nate to attend Yale when he decides to defy his grandfather and attend Columbia University in New York City instead. Later, Nate learns some disturbing information about his father's arrest while he is asked to be the best man at his cousin Trip's upcoming wedding. Chuck continues his debauched lifestyle of one-night stands while Jenny decides to make a stand for herself against the loathsome guy. Elsewhere, Dan takes a job as a waiter to earn money for college. H is distressed to find out that the job is a Passover Seder at the Waldorf penthouse that Cyrus holds, and on top of that... several of his friends and family are guests, including his father Rufus.
Season 2, Episode 22: Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Original Air Date—27 April 2009
Georgina Sparks returns to the Upper East Side after undergoing a major transformation from a born-again Christian camp. Chuck and Nate find themselves at a major crossroads in their relationship as it pertains to their mutual interest in Blair. Serena finds her relationship with Gabriel growing more complicated, when Blair and Chuck discover that he is still with Poppy. Meanwhile, Dan and Vanessa will get drunk playing "I never...". Also, Chuck and Blair try to recruit the redeemed Georgina for their help to deal with Serena's complication with Gabriel. Elsewhere, Rufus confides in Jenny about his desire to propose marriage to Lily.
Season 2, Episode 23: The Wrath of Con
Original Air Date—3 May 2009
Blair pressures Georgina into making amends for her past bad behavior by helping her in a scheme to rip off Poppy after she has embezzled all of the investment money that she and Gabriel claim to invest in. Meanwhile, the rivalry between Nate and Chuck over Blair comes to a head. When Lily learns that Poppy scam ed her of Rufus's investment money, she hatches a secret plan to help Rufus with Dan's college tuition in order to cover up Poppy's scam out of shame. But Serena has a plan to make Poppy pay for all the cheating he did, but Lily is not in agreement and takes drastic measures which ruins everything.

Season 2, Episode 24: Valley Girls
Original Air Date—10 May 2009
Lily recalls her past when in a flashback to 1983, the naive and sheltered 17-year-old Lily Rhodes got kicked out of her Santa Barbara boarding school. She ran away to Los Angeles where she tried to re-connect with her divorced and dysfunctional parents; her workaholic record producer father, Rick Rhodes, and the superficial Cece. Lily also met and hooked up with her outgoing free-spirited 19-year-old sister Carol. Carol was the so-called "black sheep" of the family who introduced Lily to the life of partying, as well as Owen, a busboy at Carol's place of employment. Eventually, they all got arrested after crashing a party hosted by the cynical and mean music producer Keith van der Woodsen (Lily's future husband) whom attempted to swindle Carol out of a music deal. In present day New York, Blair and Nate decide to attend their senior prom together. But the evening doesn't turn out exactly as planned, when the Mean Girls attempt to rig the votes for prom king and queen. But Chuck comes to Serena's rescue. Meanwhile, Serena becomes furious when she learns that Lily deliberately had her arrested for her defiance, while Rufus ponders his life and future without Lily, who he snubs for what she did to Serena, as does Eric, Jenny, and even Dan as well whom is forced to bail Serena out of jail himself. Season 2, Episode 25: The Goodbye Gossip Girl
Original Air Date—17 May 2009
Gossip Girl decides to liven things up at the Constance Billard and St. Jude's graduation by sending out a shocking and damaging email blast in the midst of the commencement ceremony, stirring Serena to come up with a plan of attack. The Mean Girls; Nelly, Isabel, Penelope, etc, challenge Jenny to throw her hat in the ring to succeed Blair as Queen Bee next year. Meanwhile, Lily and Rufus finally makes amends meet and get engaged and move in together. With Blair's blessing, Jenny becomes the new queen. Chuck finally admits his love to Blair and the two reconcile. As the summer draws near, Nate decides to go on the backpacking trip with Vanessa. Georgina returns to town having recovered/re-stole all of Dan's money, and she also requests Blair for a roommate at NYU. Carter Baizen also shows up and reveals to Serena where her biological father is. In the end, Serena is going to Brown, Blair, Dan, Vanessa, and Georgina are going to NYU, and Nate is going uptown to Columbia, and Lily and Rufus' illegitimate son, Scott, inconspicuously arrives in town for college and to shadow Dan.

Gossip Girl Season One

2009-11-29T19:42:00.009+02:00

Season 1, Episode 1: Pilot
At a privileged prep school for teens on Manhattan's Upper East Side, the students first learn that Serena van der Woodsen is back in town the way they learn all the important news in their lives: from the Internet blog of the all-knowing, albeit, ultra-secretive 'Gossip Girl'. No one knows Gossip Girl's identity, but everyone in this exclusive and complicated vicious circle relies on her website and text messages for the latest scoop. Even Serena's closest friend, Blair Waldorf, is surprised to find that Serena has suddenly ended her self-imposed exile from a boarding school in New England and returned to Manhattan for school. Once the Upper East Side's most notorious party girl, Serena's reasons for returning are mysterious, although they may have something to do with her younger brother Eric, who's secretly in the hospital following a suicide attempt which is kept under wraps by their overprotective mother Lily. Whatever the reasons, the change in Serena is obvious, especially to Blair, whose friendship with Serena has always been competitive and difficult. Into this crowd comes Dan Humphrey, a kid from Brooklyn and whose freshman sister, Jenny, tries a little too hard to fit into Blair's circle of gossip friends, whom include 'Gossip Girl's contacts, Isabel and Kati. Blair's nice-guy boyfriend, Nate Archibald, is also troubled by Serena's return for his best friend, Chuck Bass, the school's snobbish cynic and resident bad boy, knows about a fling that Serena and Nate had which is why Serena left town to avoid a scandal which, in the snobbish world of high society, is social suicide. Elsewhere, Dan and Jenny's father, Rufus, a former rock musician and art gallery operator, also has a return of feelings for Serena and Eric's mother, Lily.

Season 1, Episode 2: The Wild Brunch
Serena confides in Blair that she had sex with her boyfriend, Nate, right before she skipped town. But Blair, being the person she is, vows a cruel revenge against Serina who decides that Dan would make a good escort for the fund raiser brunch at the Palace Hotel... a brunch hosted by none other than Jenny's would-be rapist, Chuck, and his uptight father Bart. Meanwhile, 'Gossip Girl' posts on her web bloc that Jenny, the eager freshman, paid a visit to ultra-cool Blair, who quickly realizes that granting the eager wannabe access to her elite inner circle might just prove useful. Elsewhere, Lily meets with Rufus about how their lives went since they parted 15 years earlier, and Dan discovers Lily's relationship with Bart, while Blair sends him running after she tells him all about Serina's sordid past.
Season 1, Episode 3: Poison Ivy
'Gossip Girl' narrates Ivy League week as the teens on the Upper East Side schools of Constance Billard for Girls, and the rival St. Jude's for Boys, prepare for a much-anticipated visit from the Ivy League representatives. The twisted and vindictive Blair, with Chuck's help, uncovers a scandalous secret about Serena that may not remain a secret much longer which involves Eric whom is still hold-ed up in the sanatorium. Dan has his heart and future set on the coveted usher position for the Dartmouth rep, only to be beat out by Nate who has no interest in the school despite pressure from his controlling father, The Captain. Meanwhile, Jenny bonds with Serena's younger brother, Eric, who confides in her about his depression and recent suicide attempt, while Rufus must swallow his pride and ask Lily for a favor to help Dan with a Dartmouth referral.
Season 1, Episode 4: Bad News Blair
Blair is thrilled when her mother, Eleanor, chooses her to be the new face of her clothing line. However, Blair's happiness soon turns to her typical feelings of betrayal and jealousy when Serena moves into the spotlight and Blair finds herself back in Serena's shadow. Meanwhile, Serena and Dan are reminded once again that they come from two very different worlds, and Nate and Chuck indulge in a boys' weekend with the former trust-fund case, Carter Baizen, to blow off steam after Ivy Week, and who gets the guys into trouble with some of his poker player thugs. Elsewhere, Rufus bonds with an attractive art collector, named Bex, whom is interested in his latest painting at the Bedford Avenue Art Gallery where he works.
Season 1, Episode 5: Dare Devil
Dan makes elaborate plans to impress Serena on their first official date. That same night, Jenny is invited to the infamous Blair Waldorf sleepover and finds herself in a high stakes game of "truth or dare." Meanwhile, when Lily discovers that Eric is missing from his treatment center, she finds herself seeking help from her ex-boyfriend, Rufus
Season 1, Episode 6: The Handmaiden's Tale
Dan is torn between two girls when his childhood friend, Vanessa, returns home and declares her feelings for him, just as he and Serena are trying to figure out what they mean to each other. At the infamous masked ball, Blair sends Nate on a scavenger hunt, but Nate is ultimately still distracted by his feelings for Serena. Although Blair makes it perfectly clear that outsiders are not welcome, a disguised Jenny and Dan sneak into the ball. Elsewhere, Lily asks Rufus to accompany her to an Eleanor Waldorf event in order to make Bart Bass jealous
Season 1, Episode 7: Victor/Victrola
Things heat up between Serena and Dan when they admit they are in love with each other, despite that they come from polar opposite worlds (she from wealthy Upper East Side Manhattan, and he from working class Brooklyn). But Serena and Dan's plans to be alone to consummate their romance is interrupted by Vanessa who shows up wanting to spend time with Dan. Meanwhile, Chuck thinks of investing in a strip nightclub to make his father, Bart Bass, proud of him. Jenny discovers a secret that her parents have been keeping from her. Also, Blair is devastated by Nate's actions when Jenny reveals to Blair that Nate kissed her by accident at the masked ball the night before after he mistook her for Serena. Blair, (being the cynical b*tch she is), tells Jenny they are no longer friends. Nate's parents think that he should tell Blair he wants to marry her, even though he doesn't have strong feelings for her. The Archibalds and Waldorf's have a dinner party celebrating their new business deal together and it's obvious that Blair is giving Nate the silent treatment. Nate confronts his father about the drugs he found in his house, but he denies having a problem. The two get into a brawl and Nate's father punches him and as a result Nate turns his own father into the police. Afterwards, Nate gets ready to go see Chuck at the strip club he opened, but Blair stops him and tells him he needs to be with his father. Blair tells Nate that she doesn't need him and they break up and she heads over to the strip club saying she wants to "escape", which leads to a sordid tryst between Blair and Chuck in the backseat of his limousine.
Season 1, Episode 8: Seventeen Candles
Blair is devastated by the current state of her relationship with Nate and the guilt from her recent indiscretion. But she manages to put on a happy face for her 17th birthday party and attempts to hide her feelings from her friends. Hoping to ease the tension between Serena and Vanessa, Dan takes Vanessa to Blair's party so the girls can bond together, but this ends up making Serena more uncomfortable. Jenny brings her mother, Alison Humphrey, home as a surprise visit. But Rufus isn't ready to forgive and forget Alison for walking out on their marriage to find herself and concentrate on her artist work. Also, Nate's parents ask him to make a huge sacrifice to save his father's business as he faces charges of embezzlement and fraud.
Season 1, Episode 9: Blair Waldorf Must Pie!
Although it is Thanksgiving, hardly anyone has the holiday spirit. Blair and Serena have a fight once Serena admits that she saw Blair with Chuck, and Blair orders Serena to keep it to herself. Meanwhile, Nate and his family share a strained Thanksgiving meal before Mr. Archibald ends up in the hospital after a suicide attempt. Having been uninvited by Blair to the Waldorf Thanksgiving meal, the Van der Woodson family has dinner with the Humphreys at their loft in Brooklyn, and the tension between Lily, Allison, and Rufus is palpable. Back in Manhattan in the Waldorf penthouse, Blair revisits her bout of bulimia after discovering that her mother forbade her father to join them for Thanksgiving. Throughout the entire episode, there are flashbacks of last year's Thanksgiving involving how Dan met an stoned Serena for the first time as well as Blair's Thanksgiving with her father and mother before their seperation. There is a stark contrast between its joy and the present's strife.
Season 1, Episode 10: Hi, Society
As 'Gossip Girl' posts news of the annual Cotillion Ball to take place on the approaching weekend, Blair decides not to go with Nate, but she finds herself being featured in The New York Times and is enjoying her secret affair with Chuck. Serena decides not to go either, so her grandmother, CeCe, shows up to change her mind. Meanwhile, Jenny volunteers for the ball and Lily takes her under her wing. But the night of The Cotillion is the night of Alison's first art opening, and Rufus and Alison tell Jenny that she cannot attend the ball. Jenny decides to defy them both by secretly attending the dance anyway. Refreshed by Blair's newly buoyant attitude, Nate asks her to the Cotillion and she accepts, which makes Chuck jealous. CeCe tells Lily and Serena that she is sick with lung cancer and her last dying wish is to see Serena go to the ball, and she wants Serena to go with the wealthy Carter Baizen. The snobbish CeCe takes an instant dislike to Dan and she approaches Rufus with an offer pay him to convince Dan not to go with Serena. Dan learns of this and tells Serena that he does not think very highly of CeCe by telling Serena about how CeCe tried to bribe his father to persuade him not to attend. Surprisingly, the skeptic Serena refuses to believe Dan that her compassionate grandmother is a crafty snob, and she ends up going to the ball with Carter... both her and Dan having fallen right into CeCe's ploy. Also, Chuck manipulates Nate into thinking Carter is having an affair with Blair to provoke a fight with him.
Season 1, Episode 11: Roman Holiday
Blair's estranged father, Harold, comes home for the Christmas holidays with an unexpected guest: his gay lover Roman. Both Blair and her mother, Eleanor, find it difficult to hide their disappointment while Blair hatches another underhanded plan to get rid of Roman for good. Meanwhile, Jenny and Vanessa help Serena plan the best Christmas surprise ever for Dan, who may have a surprise of his own in mind for Serena. Chuck phones Blair from Europe and informs her that Nate has joined him in Monaco, worrying Blair that Chuck may disclose the details of their hook-up. Also, Rufus refuses to remain the understanding husband any longer after Alison's former lover calls the house.
Season 1, Episode 12: School Lies
Serena, Blair, Nate, Chuck and their entourage break into the school swimming pool for a night of fun, but when a member of their group nearly drowns, the school threatens to expel the person responsible for the break-in. Everyone agrees to keep a secret pact and say nothing, but it ultimately creates major tension between Serena and Dan, who isn't sure he's ready to take the fall for someone else and risk his future. Meanwhile, Vanessa is working on a documentary project about private schools and accidentally captures Blair and Chuck discussing their affair. Also, Lily contemplates telling Rufus how she really feels about him.
Season 1, Episode 13: A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate
The shadowy and unseen 'Gossip Girl' takes pleasure in reporting that Serena was spotted by one of GG's Web contacts buying pregnancy tests at a local pharmacy. Of course, on the Upper East Side, the truth is often even juicier and more scandalous than the gossip when Dan's sister, Jenny, learns that Serena was purchasing the tests for Blair who fears she might be pregnant from her trysts with Nate. But things get worse when Nate finds out that Chuck has been having an affair with Blair and both nearly come to physical blows, and Blair becomes ostracized by the rest of her clique as her reputation of a slut becomes more known. Meanwhile, Rufus, in an attempt to cheer himself up following his breakup with Lily, goes on a date with his art gallery sponsor, Bex, to a local bar.
Season 1, Episode 14: The Blair Bitch Project
Spring Break is over, and so are all of Blair's days of hiding away. Finally, after three weeks, she comes back to school, with an unpleasant welcome by Jenny and the "in" crowd, who throw ice cream in her hair. Serena believes that being mean was got Blair kicked out of the "in" crowd in the first place and dethroned "Queen Bee." When Jenny asks Blair to meet her at Butter along with all of Blair's former friends, Serena finds it the perfect opportunity for Blair to show just how nice she is. But the situation goes from nice to sour when Jenny and her friends purposely don't show up, leaving Blair all alone. Meanwhile, Jenny needs something to wear for her 15th birthday party, and eventually ends up stealing one of her friend's mother's dresses in exchange for a $1,200 dress in an exchange shop. But when Jenny tries to get it back, she learns the red dress is over $8,000. Once again, Jenny steals the red dress, throwing her coat over the dress. She comes home to a 15th birthday party created by none other than Blair, who talked to Jenny's dad, and made the birthday party as lame as possible. While Jenny's dad doesn't realize how lame the party is, Jenny's friends do, and are about to leave when they find Jenny wearing the red dress. They ditch the birthday party and meet Blair at Butter. Thinking quickly, Jenny sneaks out and has Nate accompany her to Butter. Jenny's friends are pleased that Nate, who they are attracted to, is hanging out with them, and "forget" the incident with the dress, leaving Blair friendless once again. Also, Serena adjusts to her new living conditions with Chuck, but when she receives inappropriate gifts, she believes Chuck sent them. But, at the very end of the episode, she learns who really sent them, and it wasn't Chuck.
Season 1, Episode 15: Desperately Seeking Serena
Serena's world becomes chaos when a former friend-turned-enemy, the evil and sociopath Georgina Sparks, returns to town and transfers to her school. Dan sees Serena preoccupied and he assumes that it has something to do with the nasty Chuck, who's looking forward to making her life a living-hell as her soon-to-be step-brother. Nate connects with the last person he expected, Vanessa over his failed relationship with Blair. Serena goes out with Georgina for a night on the town to try to patch things up between them, but things get so bad that Serena thinks someone spiked her drink. Meanwhile, Hazel and Penelope try to recruit newcomer Nelly Yuki to be part of their gossip club, but it is not easy. Blair supervises the whole operation and hatches a plan to sabotage Nelly. When Nelly breaks down after being reminded of her recent break-up with her boyfriend, the ladies find their way in and Nelly comes to the Waldorf penthouse where Blair tries to repair the damage. Elsewhere, Jenny develops a crush on 16-year-old dog-walker, Asher Hornsby, who might be her ticket to permanent popularity.
Season 1, Episode 16: All About My Brother
Georgina tells Serena that she can reveal a deep dark secret from Serena's past, but no one is prepared for what Georgina does next. Meanwhile, Blair and Jenny's power struggle continues when each of them start spreading false and scandalous rumors about each other on Gossip Girl's blog. Dan sees Jenny's new beau Asher cheating on her and tells her, but Jenny refuses to believe Dan. Rufus goes to Lily for advice on how to handle Jenny's new rebellious behavior. Serena tries to confront Georgina, but she skips town before Serena has a chance. After this, Serena tells Lily and everyone she and Georgina are not friends after discovering that Georgina has been lying to everyone, claiming that she and Serena are still friends.
Season 1, Episode 17: Woman on the Verge
Serena falls back into her old habits of drinking and drugs. She eventually reveals to Blair true reason why she left Manhattan: to avoid being implicated in an accidental drug overdose of a school friend in which Georgina was also present. Blair, Nate, and Chuck are forced to team up to try to help Serena deal with this situation. Unfortunately, Serena is too ashamed at herself to share the truth with Dan about her mistake, and therefore he naturally assumes the worse about his girlfriend. Lily discovers the blackmail videotape Georgina made showing her and Serena that night with their victim. Being who Lily is, she too jumps to the wrong conclusion about Serena and it takes a little intervention from Blair to save her friend from being emotionally torn apart for good. Blair also discovers from Vanessa that Georgina, under her alias 'Sara', is still hounding them by pretending to be their friends, and Georgina takes advantage of Dan's alienation with Serena to make the moves on him. Meanwhile, Rufus is excited when his band is invited to perform at a Rolling Stones sponsored concert. But Lily is the last person on Earth he expects to see at the performance, especially since her wedding rehearsal dinner is on the same night.
Season 1, Episode 18: Much 'I Do' About Nothing
Blair takes matters into her own hands to help Serena deal with the manipulative and evil Georgina Sparks who threatens to expose Serena's secret. Lily, while keeping Rufus in her mind, prepares for her wedding with Bart Bass that is designed to be the Upper East Side's social event of the year. Serena finally tells Dan the whole truth about her past and about Georgnia and they try to work things out. But Dan is guilt-ridden after having cheated on Serena with Georgina and wonders if it is already too late. An unexpected guest shows up at Lily and Bart's wedding. Also Blair manipulates matters so that Georgina goes "somewhere where she can do no harm". As the end of the school year approaches, Blair plans to go somewhere with Chuck.

Special Photos From Lost's Stars

2008-04-16T20:56:00.007+03:00

Worst Roles of Their Careers

2008-03-26T21:02:00.017+02:00

Demi Moore/Striptease (1996)

Faye Dunaway/Supergirl (1984)

Elizabet Taylor/The Flintstones (1994)

Christopher Walken/Kangaroo Jack (2003)

Worst Films Ever Made!

2008-03-14T22:06:00.007+02:00

Ben& Arthur (2002)

Arthur Sailes (Sam Mraovich) must have the courage to marry his beloved Ben Sheets (Jamie Brett Gabel) and stand against the obstacles that face him...
Sam Mraovich ... Arthur Sailes
Jamie Brett Gabel ... Ben Sheets
Michael Haboush ... Victor Sailes

Zombie Nation (2004)

A psycho cop with a weakness for killing his female arrests gets what's coming to him when a pack of zombie women rise from their graves in order to get proper revenge.
Günther Ziegler ... Joe Singer
Brandon Dean ... Vitalio
Axel Montgomery ... Det. MacQueen

The Hottie and the Nottie (2007)

Nate moves to L.A. to track down Cristabel, the woman he's been in love with since childhood, only to discover that his plan to woo her only has one hurdle to overcome: what to do with June, Cristabel's ever-present, not-so-hot best friend? What's even more complicating is Nate's growing feelings for June, whose true beauty starts to emerge.
Paris Hilton ... Cristabelle Abbott
Joel Moore ... Nate Cooper (as Joel David Moore)
Christine Lakin ... June Phigg

House Season One

2007-12-19T09:49:00.000+02:00

Unaired Pilot
This episode included 4 minutes of scenes which were edited out from the version that aired on November 16, 2004. It was released in limited number in magazines, etc. to introduce the program to the viewing audience. A web site was set up by FOX so that viewers could log on and give their opinions of the program.
Pilot
Young kindergarten teacher Rebecca Adler collapses in her classroom after uncontrolled gibberish slips out of her mouth while she is about to teach students. Rebecca Adler, who suffers from seizures collapses in her classroom after uncontrolled gibberish slips out her mouth while she is about to teach her students. She is taken to Dr. House and his team of experts who identify it might be a tumor, and she might have only a week to live.
Paternity
The team help a high school boy (16) who has double vision and night terrors. (Clinic Cases: Unvaccinated baby, man with boil on leg.) A 16-year old high school student, Dan, starts suffering from nightmares and frequent hallucinations, and he reveals he was hit in the head while playing lacrosse at school. Dan is apparently suffering from MS, and risky brain surgery is needed. Meanwhile House must deal with a patient looking to set up a lawsuit and a mother who doesn't believe in vaccinations.

Occam's Razor
A college boy whose low blood pressure does not respond with IV fluids piques House's curiosity. Clinic Cases: A woman who had a cold last week, man with a sore throat, woman whose leg hurts after running 6 miles, a boy and his MP3 Player. A college student collapses after rowdy sex with his girlfriend. While House and his team attempt to determine the cause, the student's condition continues to deteriorate and his symptoms multiply complicating the diagnosis.
Maternity
A nightmare scenario hits Princeton Plainsboro when babies in the maternity ward are hit by a potentially fatal epidemic. Clinic Cases: Woman with a parasite! When a virus is spreading among the hospital, infecting six babies, House and his team must make decisions that could compromise the lives of the babies.
Damned If You Do
Dr. House's approach raises questions when he treats a nun for what he believes to be an allergy, not realizing that her past is coming back to haunt her. A nun whose hands are red, swollen and cracked is sent to House. The nun believes it is stigmata, but House suspects an allergic reaction. He gives her some pills, which cause her to become unable to breathe. As her condition worsens, her fellow sisters pray for her while House and his team work to discover the cause of her illness while House has to wonder if he misadministered the illness.

The Socratic Method
When it appears that Lucy Palmeiro, a schizophrenic mom with deep vein thrombosis, is lying about her alcohol intake, Dr. House is the lone voice of reason. Under the scrutiny of her hyper-vigilant teenage son, House takes Lucy off all her medication and secretly sends Foreman and Chase to search her apartment for clues. Dr. House is intrigued by the symptoms of a schizophrenic woman, who displays mixed symptoms, including a tumor, but soon realizes the source of her problems isn't the obvious. House confronts his birthday and Chase confronts his past when the mother's son tries to keep up with her condition.
Fidelity
A woman comes down with symptoms of African sleeping sickness, but there seems to be no way she could have contracted it. House and his aides must ask a few tough questions and make some tough decisions in order to try to save her. Two men are out jogging -- one of them returns back to his wife and discovers her dead asleep and brings her to the clinic. The doctors are puzzled by her symptoms. They consider everything from tumors to breast cancer to rabbit fever. When all the treatments fail, House concludes she has African sleeping sickness. However, neither the woman nor her husband could possibly have ever been to Africa. The woman will die without the proper treatment, but neither one will admit to having an affair.

Poison
A high school boy has hallucinations and collapses during an exam. When he does not respond to treatments, and the normal tests are negative Foreman presents the case to House. Clinic Cases: A happy old lady. When a high school student falls victim to a mysterious but lethal poisoning, House and his team jump in to find out what is killing the teen. Given a low heart rate and a clean tox screen, House sends Cameron and Foreman to the teen's home to find the hot new drug House is sure he's taking. They don't find any drugs, but think they've come up with the answers, until a second unrelated student is admitted with identical symptoms. With the boys' lives hanging in the balance, House and the team have to connect the dots – fast. Meanwhile, an 82-year-old patient has become enamored with House while he helps her figure out the basis of her renewed fascination with her sexual feelings.
DNR
A famous and paralyzed jazz musician has trouble breathing and passes out during a session, but it is his unexplained paralysis that concerns him most. The team's job is made more complicated by a DNR order that House thinks is a mistake. Clinic Cases: A diabetic man in denial. Legendary jazz musician John Henry Giles is checked into the hospital and when he's told he's dying from ALS, he signs a DNR to avoid a slow death. House disagrees with the diagnosis and goes against everyone's wishes when he violates the DNR to save Giles' life. The decision lands House in court, drives Foreman to consider taking another job, and results in Giles' paralysis worsening. But when the patient inexplicably starts getting better, the team has to figure out the mystery in reverse and find out why his condition is improving. Meanwhile, Dr. Foreman meets with an old friend who offers him a West Coast partnership.

Histories
A homeless woman collapses at an illegal rave house. Foreman blows off the consult that Wilson asks for, and House is intrigued by Foreman's and Wilson's reactions. Clinic Cases: A mother with lots of kids; House pretends to be ill so he ends up teaching med students about taking histories. Dr. Foreman believes an uncooperative homeless woman is faking seizures to get a meal ticket at the teaching hospital. But her homelessness strikes a personal chord with Dr. Wilson and he grows determined to keep her from falling between the cracks. Her worsening symptoms prove to be a complex mystery for House and his team, but the mystery of her identity and medical history may hold the answers to saving her life. Just as the team suspects she has contagious meningitis, the woman goes missing, only to be tasered by the police, who bring her back. But House deduces the taser may have proven yet another diagnosis, with dire results. Meanwhile, House has an audience of two medical students who are learning how to do case studies.
Detox
A girl crashes a Porsche after her boyfriend starts coughing up blood and continues to have unexplained bleeds. Clinic Cases: Cuddy give House a month off clinic duties if he can spend a week off his pain meds. While trying to figure out why a young patient won't stop bleeding after a car wreck, House takes Cuddy's challenge and goes off Vicodin for a week in exchange for no clinic duty for a month. If House and his team can't determine the source of his patient's blood loss, the 16-year-old car victim will die in a matter of days. As House's withdrawal symptoms become more and more severe, his patient directives for his patient are more harsh and risky than usual, and Foreman and Cameron are afraid he may not be thinking clearly enough to save the patient's life.

Sports Medicine
A detoxed sports star about to make his comeback breaks his arm due to brittle bones. Clinic Cases: Woman with leg pain; man trying to remove his contact lenses; a dentist with various issues and a hung over teenager; all in 70 seconds. A severely broken arm reveals a bizarre case of bone loss and ends the comeback plans of major league pitcher Hank Wiggen. House suspects Hank – with a history of drug abuse – is lying about using steroids, as his condition worsens. When Hank's kidneys start to fail, his wife offers to donate hers, but she would have to abort her early pregnancy. Forced into an impossible solution, and admitting failure as an addict, Hank tries to take his own life. House and his team must isolate and fix the problem soon if this pitcher's life, as well his career, can be saved. Meanwhile, Foreman dates a pharmaceutical representative and House is stuck with two tickets and ends up going on a "date" with Cameron...to a monster truck rally.
Cursed
A young boy has a fever for over a week after a Ouija board predicts he will die. Clinic Cases: Chase's case of a man with numb fingers. A 12-year-old boy believes he's cursed after a Ouija board tells him he's going to die, and his father makes increasing demands on House as they try to diagnose the boy's pneumonia-like symptoms and incongruous rash. Meanwhile, Chase's estranged father, a renowned doctor from Australia, visits and House invites him to sit in, much to Chase's discomfort. When House diagnoses the boy's illnees, the young patient is forced to face the idea that his father may not be everything he believes.

Control
Could House save a high powered female executive from the same problem that left him in constant pain? A new head of the hospital board could cause problems. Clinic Cases: A boy and his mute dad. Billionaire entrepreneur Edward Vogler spends $100 million on the clinic and becomes the new Chairman of the Board. As a businessman, Vogler intends to turn the clinic into a profitable venue for his biotech venture and plans to eliminate the financially draining services of Dr. House. Meanwhile, a businesswoman who has it all – perfect life, perfect body, perfect job – finds herself inexplicably paralyzed. When he diagnoses her secret, House must risk his job and his medical license to get her a necessary transplant.
Mob Rules
A Mob informer collapses before trial. Is he faking or is he really in a coma? Clinic Cases: A pair of brothers come in when the youngster gets toys stuck up his nose. Just before mobster Joey Arnello spills the beans in federal court and enters witness protection, he collapses. Is he faking? A court order instructs House to find out – and fast. House and his team struggle to diagnose and cure Joey while Joey's brother Bill tries to slow things down and keep Joey from testifying. Meanwhile, Cuddy struggles to convince Vogler that House is an essential part of the hospital.

Heavy
A morbidly obese ten-year-old girl has a heart attack, and her mother insists that House and his team look past her weight to find the diagnosis. Meanwhile, Vogler pressures House to fire a member of his staff. Clinic Patients: Unidentified man with an infected pierced scrotum; overweight woman with a 30-pound tumor on her ovaries who refuses to have it removed, because she worries she will be unattractive. House must fire one of his doctors and leaves them to think about it while they deal with an overweight 10-year old child who suffered a heart attack as the result of taking diet pills. House is also faced with a woman who won't accept surgery for a 30 lb. tumor because she wants to remain overweight.
Role Model
House treats a Black presidential candidate, whom House is convinced has AIDS, but the Senator's passion convinces him otherwise. Also, Vogler forces House to give a speech endorsing a new drug from Vogler's company, but House has plans of his own. At a high-level campaign fundraiser, a senator becomes violently ill. Vogler forces House to take the senator's case and offers to let off the hook on firing a team member if he'll deliver a speech on behalf of Vogler's pharmaceutical company. It looks like the senator has AIDS but House refuses to settle for the easy answer. And House ends up giving the speech, but it doesn't go quite as Vogler planned.

Babies & Bathwater
While House and his team scramble to discover what's causing brain and kidney dysfunction in a pregnant woman, Vogler is on the warpath to get House fired. While House and his team scramble to discover what's causing brain and kidney dysfunction in a pregnant woman, Vogler is working to get House fired after House's pharmaeutical speech. House determines the illness, but the woman and her husband must struggle with an emotional and heartbreaking choice: choose between her or that of her unborn child. Vogler calls for a vote to remove House, but when Wilson refuses to make the vote unanimous, Vogler threatens to take his money if Wilson isn't voted out. Finally, Cuddy must take a stand against Vogler.
Kids
During a meningitis outbreak which overwhelms the clinic, House is drawn to a single patient: a 12-year-old competitive diver whose symptoms don't quite match everyone else's. During an meningitis outbreak which overwhelms the clinic, House is drawn to a single patient: a 12-year-old whose symptoms don't quite match everyone else's. House, Foreman, and Chase must devise ingenious ways and locations to treat the girl's delicate condition in the middle of the chaos, and make an unexpected discovery. Meanwhile, House asks Cameron to come back to her job but she has one requirement that he might not be able to meet.

Love Hurts
House apparently triggers a stroke in a clinic patient, but the major topic of discussion is House's imminent date with Cameron. The team must deal with the patient's odd lifestyle, overbearing "friend", and reluctant parents in order to stop the strokes and try to save his life. House apparently triggers a stroke in a clinic patient, but the major topic of discussion is House's imminent date with Cameron, The team must deal with the patient's odd lifestyle, overbearing "friend," and reluctant parents in order to stop the strokes and try to save his life. Meanwhile, Wilson, Cuddy and the team offer House and Cameron advice while laying odds on the outcome.
Three Stories
House's ex Stacy Warner asks him to treat her husband. House takes over a diagnostics class for a day and presents the class with three case studies of leg pain. As House tells his story and the class gradually fills up with listeners, the class learns a lot about how to be better doctors, and Chase, Foreman and Cameron learn some important details of House's past. House's ex-girlfriend Stacy Warner returns – not for House but to get help for her ailing husband. While House decides whether or not to take her case, Cuddy forces him to present a lecture to a class of medical students. As he weaves the stories of three patients who all present with a similar symptom, House gives a lecture the students will never forget.
The Honeymoon
House doses his ex-girlfriend's husband in order to get him into hospital after she begs House to treat him. Is House treating Mark differently in order to get back at Stacy for his leg? When Stacy insists her husband Mark get tests, House insists he can handle things. But despite the fact Mark's tests prove negative, his steadily growing symptoms indicate he is dying. While House struggles with the mystery and makes increasing demands on his staff, Wilson worries about House's emotional well-being, and Cuddy considers adding a new employee to the clinic.

House Season Two

2007-12-19T09:45:00.000+02:00

Acceptance
House treats a patient on death row while Dr. Cameron avoids telling a patient she has a terminal illness. A death row inmate is felled by an unknown disease and House decides to take on the case, over Cuddy and Foreman's objections. House also has to deal with Stacy who is working closely with him, while Cameron has to cope with a dying patient.
Autopsy
A very brave and mature 9-year-old girl has terminal cancer, but that is not what the problem seems to be. Dr. Wilson convinces House to take the case of one of his patients, a young girl with terminal cancer who starts suffering from hallucinations.
Humpty Dumpty
Cuddy joins the team after her handyman falls off of her roof and begins to develop bizarre symptoms. An asthmatic man suddenly becomes unconscious and falls off of Dr. Cuddy's roof while working on her house.
TB or Not TB
A doctor champions against the epidemic of TB in Africa, possibly at the risk of his own life. While in Africa, a famous doctor becomes inexplicably ill and is sent to Dr. House for treatment.

Daddy's Boy
The team takes care of a student with inexplicable electrical shocks, and House's parents visit. A Princeton student who is graduating suffers a seizure while partying at a frat house. House's parents also drop by to see their son.
Spin
A professional bicycle racer collapses at a meet, and the team must come up with a different cause after the patient admits to using drugs. House and Stacy continue sparring with each other. A professional bicyclist is brought in after collapsing during a race, but House doesn't want to treat him because he thinks the athlete is taking performance-enhancing drugs. House only becomes interested when the patient admits to taking the drugs.
Hunting
After being accused of assaulting a sick man, House is forced to take on his case. However, despite the fact that he has AIDS, it's clearly not what's killing him. A gay man with full-blown AIDS collapses in front of House's home and goes into shock. When House discovers the man's father is suffering from symptoms of his own, he must determine if they might be connected and save both their lives. Meanwhile, Cameron faces a potentially life-threatening disease of her own.
The Mistake
Chaos ensues after Chase's negligence leads to the death of a female patient. Now, after an inquiry from the hospital board, and a subpoena from the patient's brother, it's up to Stacey to protect Chase's career, as well as House's. House and Chase find themselves in a serious situation after a young mother with stomach pains dies. Months later, Stacy counsels Chase prior to his disciplinary hearing, and must determine whether Chase made a mistake that ultimately led to the patient's death. She soon realizes he is holding something back.

Deception
A woman collapses at an off-track betting parlor in front of House, and he must battle his new boss to find her diagnosis. With Foreman as House's supervisor, the team must figure out if a woman who cried wolf too many times is really ill.
Failure to Communicate
When a famous writer is brought in with language difficulties, House must assist via phone while waiting for a delayed plane. While attending his editor's retirement party, a journalist collapses and hits his head on a desk. When he regains consciousness, his sentences are garbled and incoherent, so he is rushed to Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. With House and Stacy stranded at an airport due to bad weather, the team is forced to solve the case with House helping out over the phone.
Need to Know
House and the team must determine what is causing an increasingly deceitful patient's muscle flailing. Stacy makes a decision, and Cameron avoids a test. While House's staff tries to diagnose a woman whose uncontrollable muscle flailing caused her to crash her car, House and Stacy try to resolve their relationship issues once and for all. Cameron refuses to take her HIV test, wary of the results.
Distractions
A patient with 40% body burns and inexplicable cardiac and neurological signs is treated by the team, while House pursues disproving an old enemy's medical study. While a severely burned teenager is admitted and his blood tests come back with strange results, House makes himself the guinea pig in his own unofficial tests of a new drug designed to treat migraines to prove a former medical school colleague is wrong about the drug.

Skin Deep
The search for the cause of a supermodel's symptoms causes intense feelings among the team, as new facts are revealed. Meanwhile, House experiences increasing pain in his leg. House uncovers a startling secret when he treats a teenage supermodel for heroin addiction. Meanwhile, Wilson hopes the increased leg pain in House's leg is an indication his leg nerves are regenerating.
Sex Kills
House and the team struggle to diagnose one patient in order to save another. House takes the case of a man who experienced a seizure but wasn't aware it happened. When the man suffers a heart attack and needs a heart transplant, the team races to diagnose a dead woman's illness so they can harvest her heart to save their living patient.
Clueless
House and the team must track down what's causing a swinging couple's husband's tongue to swell when all test keep returning normal, and Wilson experience close-up what living with House is like. House believes a woman is trying to kill her husband and tries to find the proof to confirm his suspicions. When Wilson moves in with House after separating from his wife, he learns Wilson is a great cook.
Safe
6 months after a teenage girl crushes her chest in a car accident and receives a heart transplant she goes into anaphalactic shock in her clean room bedroom after her boyfriend kisses her. Melinda, a troubled teenage girl who is immuno-compromised as a result of the medications she must take after a heart transplant, has a severe allergic reaction and goes into shock when her boyfriend visits her. Meanwhile, House and Wilson continue to work out the problems in their new living arrangement.
All In
On a class field trip, a teacher discovers that her five-year-old student Ian is bleeding profusely. Dr. House thinks Ian has the same unknown disease that killed an elderly patient of his years ago. When a six-year-old boy is brought in with the same symptoms as another patient who died years ago under House's care, House believes the cases are identical and he can predict the course of the boy's illness. Meanwhile, the clinic hosts a poker night to benefit the oncology department.

Sleeping Dogs Lie
The relationship between a liver donor and the intended recipient throws the team into an ethical quandary. House has to work fast when a woman comes in with a life-threatening case of insomnia. Meanwhile Cameron is angry at Foreman for stealing an article she worked on.
House vs. God
House takes on a teenage faith healer, Wilson desperately wants into a poker game, and tensions escalate between Cameron and Foreman. House treats a 15 year old faith healer, while Wilson feels left out when he finds out House isn't planning on inviting him to his weekly poker game.
Euphoria: Part 1
A police officer in critical condition has bizarre symptoms, and Dr. Foreman finds himself in an unpleasant situation. When a police officer with a gunshot wound to the head and uncontrollable laughter is admitted, House and the team are baffled. When Foreman begins showing the same symptoms, they race to determine the cause of the illness before Foreman's condition takes the same path.
Euphoria: Part 2
House tries radical procedures to save Foreman's life. Foreman's father visits. Foreman continues to experience the same progression of symptoms as the police officer. When he realizes he may be facing imminent death, he calls his father who comes to his son's side. As it comes down to a race against time, House believes the solution to the illness is in the police officer's apartment.
Forever
House and the team try to save the lives of a young mother and her newborn son. Foreman struggles to regain normalcy in his life. A young mother has a seizure while bathing her newborn son and nearly drowns him. House and the team have two cases at one time as they try to save the infant and determine the cause of the mother's seizures.

Who's Your Daddy?
House's ex-band mate Crandall brings in a teenage girl who is having hallucinations about Hurricane Katrina. Cuddy looks for a sperm donor. A 16-year-old Hurricane Katrina victim suffering from hallucinations as a result of the tragedy is brought to House by his former bandmate who recently found out the girl is his daughter. Although House fears his friend is being scammed, he takes the case. As he works his way through the girl's lies so he can diagnose and treat her, he's forced to tell a few lies of his own.
No Reason
An old patient of House comes back and seeks revenge upon him in the form of gunshot. As House and his team are working on the diagnosis of a man with a giant, swollen tongue, the husband of a former patient walks into House's office and shoots him. House continues to treat his patient from his ICU hospital bed with the shooter, who has been shot by hospital security and hand-cuffed to his bed, as his roommate. When the after-effects of the shooting begin to impact House, he starts to question his own ability to diagnose properly. As his patient's body deteriorates, House struggles through his self-doubt and must trust his team to find a way to solve the case.

House Season Three

2007-12-19T09:40:00.000+02:00

Meaning
Richard, a husband and father living with brain cancer, drives his wheelchair into a pool at a family BBQ. Everyone but his son think that it was suicide from the pain but House will stop at nothing to figure out his true ailment. After recovering from his gunshot wounds, House works feverishly on two cases at the same time: a paralyzed man who drove his wheelchair into a swimming pool and a woman who became paralyzed after a yoga session.
Cane and Able
Clancy, a 7 year old boy, who believes he is being tortured by aliens comes to the hospital because of rectal bleeding. When House, who thinks he did not solve his last case and it's affecting him physically, finds a metal object in his neck where Clancy claims a chip has been planted and when a cell with different DNA is found, the team has to give his alien theory more credit. But House's humiliation from his last case and worsening leg pain cause him to back out, forcing Cuddy, who lied to House about curing his last patient, to rethink her decision to withhold the information. House and the team treat a young boy who claims there is a tracking device in his neck and believes he has been the subject of alien experimentation. Cameron is outraged when she learns Cuddy and Wilson have been lying to House about the diagnosis on his last case.

Informed Consent
Ezra Powell, a renowned pioneer in the field of medical research, collapses in his lab. House is struggling after the ketamine treatment wore off and doesn't want to talk about it. When the team put Ezra through rigorous diagnostic tests and don't come up with anything conclusive Ezra demands the team to help him end his life. Now the team goes through twists and turns of the moral dilemma of ignoring his wishes or to assist in his suicide and abide by Ezra's wishes. House puts a well-known medical researcher through a battery of tests to determine why he collapsed in his lab. When the team is unable to diagnose the problem, the doctor asks the team to help him end his life. House is forced to use his cane again after the ketamine has worn off as he deals with a clinic patient's teenaged daughter who has a crush on him.
Lines in the Sand
A ten-year-old boy begins screaming in pain, but nobody knows why, because he is autistic and cannot explain. House refuses to use his office. Cuddy does not know why, because he is House and will not explain. When doctors are unable to diagnose why a severely autistic boy screams loudly for no apparent reason, House takes the case. As the boy's condition worsens, it becomes obvious that House relates to the boy because he has no social niceties.
Fools for Love
A husband and wife being treated cause Foreman to ponder the strength of true love, and House abuses one too many patients with potentially devastating repercussions. House takes the case of a young woman who has been rushed to the hospital with problems breathing and severe stomach pain after she and her husband were robbed. After her husband collapses, the team believes the couple's illnesses are related. Meanwhile, Michael Tritter, a clinic patient, causes problems for House that could have serious ramifications.

Que Será Será
A "suicidally" obese man in a coma presents treatment challenges, but finding out what's wrong with him may be the most challenging test of all. Elsewhere, Tritter ramps up his vendetta against House. The team encounters logistical problems while trying to run tests on a 600-pound man due to his extremely large size. Meanwhile, House spends the night in jail after being arrested by Detective Tritter for various charges, including resisting arrest.
Son of Coma Guy
When the son of a man in a vegetative state starts going into a coma, the vegetative man is reawakened chemically by House, who hopes to get some clues to the son's problems. House decides to awaken a comatose patient so he can question the man regarding the family history of his son, who may have a genetic condition and the father is the only living relative. Meanwhile, Wilson confronts House about the stolen prescription pad as Tritter approaches Cameron, Chase, and Foreman in an attempt to divide the team and reveal their loyalties.
Whac-A-Mole
A young man collapses at his job, and House makes a game of establishing the diagnosis until things turn critical, and Tritter increases the pressure on Wilson. An 18-year-old teenager is brought to the hospital after having a heart attack. House reviews the boy's file and believes he has the diagnosis. He then turns the case into a game by sealing his opinion in an envelope and challenging Cameron, Foreman, and Chase to guess House's diagnosis on their own. Meanwhile, Tritter's actions against Wilson continue to strain the oncologist's relationship with House and destroy his ability to practice medicine.

Finding Judas
While a little girl's life and limbs are in jeopardy, Tritter becomes more manipulative and House suffers withdrawal. House takes the case of a young girl who has been diagnosed with pancreitis. When he takes her divorced parents to court to force them to allow treatment because they can't agree, the judge awards guardianship of the girl to Cuddy. Meanwhile, Tritter continues his strategy to force House to admit to his drug use by offering one of the team members a deal.
Merry Little Christmas
Wilson presents the deal to House and then convinces Cuddy to back him up, meanwhile the team is flummoxed by a patient's condition and various members keep seeking out House for his opinion even though he may not be prepared to assist. Wilson arranges for House to make a deal with Tritter, but House refuses. Meanwhile, Cuddy cuts House off Vicodin and removes him from the team's case: a 15-year-old little person who entered the hospital with a collapsed lung and anemia.
Words and Deeds
House checks himself into rehab just before his trial, but a different game entirely may be afoot. Elsewhere, the team attempts to treat a firefighter who can't stop shivering. House splits his time between treating a firefighter for uncontrollable shivering, giving Tritter a piece of his mind, and handling his trial for forging prescriptions.
One Day, One Room
Stuck with clinic duty, House almost wishes he had the boring patients back after he encounters a young woman with an STD and the need to talk. While House is forced to work full-time in the clinic and deal with a rape victim who insists on confiding with him, Cameron deals with a terminal cancer patient trying to take advantage of her state of mind.

Needle in a Haystack
A young man is stricken during sex with his girlfriend, and House must determine why his organs are suddenly shutting down. Finding the cause is like looking for a needle in a haystack. House and his staff must deal with a teenage Gypsy boy suffering from inexplicable respiratory distress. However, House has bigger issues on his mind: Cuddy has given away his handicapped spot.
Insensitive
On Valentine's day House meddles in relationships as he works to diagnose a teenager who has a genetic inability to feel pain. It's Valentine's Day, and Cuddy has a blind date. Meanwhile, House leaves ER duty to take the case of a child patient named Hannah.
Half-Wit
House struggles to find out why a pianist savant is losing his ability to play. Ultimately, a decision must be made as to how much brain is necessary for a normal quality of life. House encounters a brain-damaged musical prodigy with inexplicable abilities while the team faces serious concerns about House's own health.
Top Secret
A patient whose relative has called in a favor with Cuddy presents with nonspecific minor symptoms that turn life-threatening, but House is distracted by a dream and an inability to urinate. The ex-Marine that saved House's life, in a dream he had, is admitted in the hospital with symptoms resembling Gulf War Syndrome. While House is busy dealing with his own health issues, and Chase and Cameron are too busy with each other, the ex-Marine gets worse.

Fetal Position
When a pregnant woman has a stroke, the team is at a loss after all tests reveal nothing, but when her organs start shutting down Cuddy takes over the case. A famous celebrity photographer suffers from a stroke while being pregnant at her early forties. House and his team have to deal with a great dilemma, save the mother or her unborn child.
Airborne
House and Cuddy are flying back to the US from an international conference in Singapore. While en route a mysterious disease strikes one passenger and an epidemic unfolds, causing House to diagnose in midair since they have missed the halfway mark by passing the north pole. Back in Princeton, Wilson and House's lackeys have a confusing case of what is ailing a woman who came into the clinic and proceeded to have a seizure.
Act Your Age
A young girl is ailed with diseases that usually strike people much older than her 6 years of age. But before House can diagnose her, her brother starts exhibiting the same symptoms she was admitted with. During all of this House gives Wilson tickets that a patient had given to him for a play. Ensuing a discussion on why men take women to plays. Wilson decides to take Cuddy and the tug of war with House for her affections begins, although Cuddy insists that she only went with Wilson as a friend.
House Training
The cause of a woman's TIA stumps the team, and Foreman's family visits. The doctors try to find what's wrong with a scam artist who collapses after her brain "freezes," but the case becomes personal for Foreman.
Family
Wilson is preparing his 14-year-old patient, Nick, for a bone marrow transplant when the donor, Nick's younger brother Matty, suddenly starts sneezing. Since Nick's immune system has been destroyed by the chemotherapy for his cancer, he cannot risk a marrow donation from Matty while Matty is ill. House decides that the fastest way to find out what's wrong with Matty is to make him worse. As the boys get sicker and sicker, House and his team race to cure Matty before both brothers die. Meanwhile, House battles Hector (his newly adopted dog) for supremacy and Foreman can't stop thinking about last week's mistake.

Resignation
A 19-year-old college student, Addie, starts coughing up blood during karate class and ends up one of House's cases. Foreman hands in his resignation before treating the woman and refuses to explain why. Although her symptoms show no signs of it, House is convinced that an infection is causing Addie's bleeding. Her lungs start filling with fluid and House's team believes a toxin or cancer is to blame for Addie's illness but are unable to change House's mind. Addie continues to get worse and House wants to do an extremely risky life-or-death treatment in order to confirm his diagnosis; the team starts to ask whether House cares about making a diagnosis more than Addie's own life. Meanwhile, House becomes interested in Honey, a young, attractive nutritionist who brought her boyfriend to the clinic for treatment. He gets her to fill out an employment application (for Foreman's soon-to-be vacated position) and arranges to meet her again in a more casual situation.
The Jerk
When a teenage chess-player assaults his opponent, the team struggles to determine whether the problem is organic or psychological. House treats a 16-year-old chess prodigy who gets everyone on the team annoyed with his behavior. Foreman is upset with House because he thinks his boss sabotaged his job interview with another hospital.
Human Error
A couple risk their lives getting from Cuba to see House, but his preoccupation with staff issues may cost the woman her life. A Cuban couple attempt to get to America by raft... to see House about the wife's heart condition. But when she gets worse House wonders if someone on his staff messed up. Meanwhile Foreman prepares to leave and his departure threatens to shake up the entire team.

House Season Four

2007-12-19T09:35:00.000+02:00

Alone
House is off his game without the team, and Wilson uses an extreme tactic to force him into interviews. With his diagnostic team gone, House tries to diagnose a young woman who survived an office building collapse. With the condition getting worse, Cuddy puts pressure on House to hire a new team, but instead attempts a differential diagnosis with help from the janitor.
The Right Stuff
House is forced to choose a new staff... and gathers 40 applicants to start narrowing down the field. Meanwhile, an Air Force pilot wants House to treat her secretly so she doesn't ruin her chances of becoming an astronaut. House is secretly trying to treat a fighter pilot who is a candidate for NASA's astronaut training program. Her diagnosis will be the test to choose which ones of the 40 applicants are going to take the empty spots in his team.

97 Seconds
Down to 10 candidates for his team, House splits them into 2 groups to diagnose a patient whose short lifespan has been made even shorter. Foreman leads his own team to diagnose a patient at his new workplace. The candidates are now two teams of five women and five men, competing on diagnosing and treating a wheelchair-bound man. Meanwhile House does experiments on himself to test what happens after death, and Foreman, at another hospital, is treating his team in a House-like manner.
Guardian Angels
A woman seeing her dead mother stumps the recruits, especially once she begins seeing a recent victim. House finds that some of his own fellowship students will do whatever it takes, when they deal with a woman who believes she can talk to the dead.

Mirror Mirror
A victim of a mugging presents with neurological symptoms and begins to mirror the behaviors of his doctors. Foreman joins the new fellows in seeking a diagnosis; Cameron and Chase takes bets on who House will fire next. House deals with a patient who mirrors the personality of anyone he meets. Meanwhile, Foreman is put in charge of overseeing the fellowship candidates.
Whatever It Takes
House is taken by black helicopter to help diagnose a dying CIA agent, leaving Foreman in charge of the team trying to find out why a young woman passed out after a drag car race. Based on practically no information and no medical history about a mystery patient sent by the CIA, House is using some unorthodox methods to diagnose and treat him. Meanwhile the remaining candidates are questioning Foreman's judgment.

Ugly
House and his team are hampered by a reality television crew whilst battling over possible diagnoses for a craniofacial surgery patient. A film crew and the candidates are following around House distracting him while he is trying to diagnose a teenager who suffers from a heart attack prior to a serious plastic surgery.
You Don't Want to Know
A magician's heart stops during a performance. At first House dismisses the case, but later changes his mind when complications arise. House has a contest to determine the next one to leave the team. House treats a magician but comes to believe he's faking illness to cover up his own incompetence. Meanwhile, House pits the fellows against each other in his version of an immunity challenge.

Games
House treats a rock musician, and some of the candidates have to get past their personal biases, Wilson misdiagnoses a patient, and the winners are named. Under Cuddy’s pressure to choose his team, House gives the candidates a case of a former punk rock star who is a drug user. Whoever diagnoses the patient is going to have a future as a member of House’s team.

Quotes Of House

2007-12-19T09:30:00.000+02:00

Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not gonna happen.
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.
Dr. Gregory House: And triteness kicks us in the nads.
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: I think your argument is specious.
Dr. Gregory House: I think your tie is ugly.
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality.
Dr. Gregory House: Thank you. It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something fun. Low-riding jeans are hot.
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: [Wilson is quoting a poem from a patient of House's] 'The healer with his magic powers! / I could rub his gentle brow for hours. / His manly chest, his stubbled jaw, / Everything about him leaves me raw-'
Dr. Gregory House: Psych ward's upstairs.
Dr. Wilson: -with joy. Oh, House your very name / Will never leave this girl the same.' It's not bad for an 82-year-old. She asked me to give that to her true love.
Dr. Gregory House: What can I say? Chicks with no teeth turn me on.
Dr. Wilson: That's fairly disgusting.
Dr. Gregory House: That's ageism.
Dr. Wilson: You better watch yourself around this babe.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: A patient comes because she's sleeping 16 hours a day, and it takes ten doctors and a coma to diagnose sleeping sickness.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: [in Cuddy's office with Foreman] Hey! He knows more homeless people than any of us!
[to Foreman]
Dr. Gregory House: Go check out the hood, Dog.
________________________________________
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [approaching with two young-looking female interns] Dr. House!
Dr. Gregory House: Time for Girl Scout cookies already?
Dr. Wilson: Get me some Thin Mints.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: You can think I'm wrong, but that's no reason to quit thinking.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: You bastard. You invited my parents to dinner.
Dr. Wilson: Geez, Cameron's got a big mouth.
Dr. Gregory House: Ha! Not as big as yours.
Dr. Wilson: Hey, you used me to avoid seeing your parents.
Dr. Gregory House: Well, what do you care?
Dr. Wilson: I don't. I just thought it might be interesting to find out why.
Dr. Gregory House: You could have just asked.
Dr. Wilson: You would have lied.
Dr. Gregory House: And you would have believed me. Which would have kept us both happy. Do you want your money back, is that what this is about?
Dr. Wilson: No! Wait, what? Have you got the money?
[House starts to write check]
Dr. Wilson: If you have the money, then why did you need the loan?
Dr. Gregory House: I didn't. I just wanted to see if you'd give it to me. I've been borrowing increasing amounts ever since you lent me forty dollars a year ago. A little experiment to see where you'd draw the line.
Dr. Wilson: You're - you're trying to objectively measure how much I value our friendship?
Dr. Gregory House: That's five grand, you've got nothing to be ashamed of. So what do you say, one little phone call, one big check?
Dr. Wilson: Fine.
[takes check]
Dr. Wilson: Thanks.
[gets in car]
Dr. Wilson: Now, be a grownup and either tell mommy and daddy you don't want to see them or I'm picking you up at 7:00 for dinner.
Dr. Gregory House: What do you mean? You just said...
Dr. Wilson: I lied. I've been lying to you in increasing amounts ever since I told you you look good unshaved a year ago. It's a little experiment, you know, to see where you'd draw the line.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: [to Cameron, after she assists a patient's suicide] I'm proud of you.
________________________________________
[Cameron is in the lab working on some equipment]
Dr. Gregory House: Mixing up some margaritas? Mine's a double, Senorita. That's Portuguese you know.
Dr. Cameron: [too quietly] Spanish.
Dr. Gregory House: Uh-oh. What's going on?
Dr. Cameron: I'm re-calibrating the centrifuge.
Dr. Gregory House: Turn around.
[she's been crying]
Dr. Gregory House: It's a very sad thing, an un-calibrated centrifuge. It makes me cry too.
Dr. Cameron: I'm not crying.
Dr. Gregory House: Ok.
[pause]
Dr. Cameron: ...When I was in college, I... I fell in love, and I got married. And...
Dr. Gregory House: At that age the chances of a marriage lasting...
Dr. Cameron: It lasted six months. Thyroid cancer metastasized to his brain. There was nothing they could do. I was 21, and I watched my husband die.
Dr. Gregory House: I'm sorry,
[pause]
Dr. Gregory House: but that's not the whole story. It's a symptom, not your illness. Thyroid cancer would have been diagnosed at least a year before his death, you knew he was dying when you married him. Must have been when you first met him; and you married him anyway. You can't be that good a person and well adjusted.
Dr. Cameron: Why?
Dr. Gregory House: Because you wind up crying over centrifuges.
Dr. Cameron: Or hating people?
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: I am so tired of this.
[pause]
Dr. Wilson: Did you know that the new nurse from cardiology is sleeping with that weird lawyer from the board?
Dr. Gregory House: The guy with eleven fingers?
Dr. Wilson: He has eleven fingers?
Dr. Gregory House: How do you not notice that?
Dr. Wilson: The nurse used to be a man.
Dr. Gregory House: [guessing] She's not anymore.
Dr. Wilson: But we can't talk about that.
Dr. Gregory House: I thought we were.
Dr. Wilson: We were supposed to talk about that. I came here to talk about that, but on the way up, I ran into Cameron. You've got a CIPA patient.
Dr. Gregory House: [thinks] ... tranny nurse is more interesting.
Dr. Wilson: Oh, it's WAY more interesting. But instead, I've gotta be your damn conscience. I'm tired of being your conscience. I don't enjoy being your conscience...
Dr. Gregory House: No one enjoys it...
Dr. Wilson: You're studying her.
Dr. Gregory House: She's actually sick.
Dr. Wilson: Which you found out after you took her on.
Dr. Gregory House: I was curious. Since I'm not a cat, that's not dangerous.
Dr. Wilson: I don't think that metaphor was designed to actually warn cats. You don't care about her illness, you care about CIPA - which means your focus is gonna be on getting your answers, not hers.
Dr. Gregory House: Thank you. Forewarned is forearmed.
Dr. Wilson: What do you think you're gonna figure out? You think... her lack of pain is somehow the answer to your pain.
Dr. Gregory House: I think... if you'd stop talking to Cameron, then right now we could be ranking nurses in order of doability.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Ah, the Socratic Method. The best way we have of teaching everything-apart from juggling chainsaws.
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: Not for long, he wants to be discharged!
Dr. Gregory House: Of course he does. Places to go, people to eat!
________________________________________
Lola: He drops clean urine, denies using steroids, and you're giving him a drug for what, steroid abuse?
Dr. Gregory House: No, no, it's not. No, it's got calcium in it. It's very good for the bones. Basically, at a molecular level, it's just milk.
[Lola leaves]
Dr. Gregory House: How long do you figure before I get a call from Cuddy?
________________________________________
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You put him on Lupron?
Dr. Gregory House: Uh-huh.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: And you told them it was like milk?
Dr. Gregory House: Yes.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Is there any way in which that is not a lie?
Dr. Gregory House: It's creamy.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Fine. I'll ask one of my other friends.
Dr. Wilson: Huh...
Dr. Gregory House: What? You're saying I've only got one friend?
Dr. Wilson: Uh... and... who...?
Dr. Gregory House: Kevin. In bookkeeping.
Dr. Wilson: Okay, well, first of all, his name's Karl...
Dr. Gregory House: I call him Kevin. It's his secret friendship club name.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: [Looking at a comic drawn by a patient, using clues to figure out her identity] Philadelphia. Look at that skyline. It's very evocative. The Chrysler Building.
Dr. Eric Foreman: That's a cloud.
Dr. Cameron: And the Chrysler Building's in New York.
Dr. Gregory House: Eh, I'm getting Philly. And that cactus, well, that's a smashed car? Car accident!
Dr. Cameron: A cactus in Philly?
Dr. Gregory House: Water?
[to Wilson]
Dr. Gregory House: Well, water's October, right?
Dr. Wilson: Obviously.
Dr. Gregory House: The page number's 22, so that's October 2nd, 2002. Ergo, the patient was in a car accident two years ago last October.
Dr. Wilson: My goodness, was she okay?
Dr. Gregory House: Broke her arm. I think they fixed it, with this
[holds up surgical pin from the patient's arm]
Dr. Gregory House: . Surgical pin. Better than a wallet. Serial number, in case of recall, tied to a patient's name.
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: [to House] Trying to win Stacy back by killing an animal. Very caveman.
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: This is definitely different.
Dr. Robert Chase: [looking at a photograph of House] It looks almost like...
Dr. Cameron: ...He's caring.
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: Somebody's gotta be Cuddy's Cuddy.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Chase loves me. And isn't Turkish.
Dr. Wilson: No, Cameron loves you. Chase loves his job.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: How was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: [to EMT guy who has just tried to give directions] You wanted to be a doctor, maybe you should have buckled down a little more in high school.
________________________________________
Stacy Warner: If I thought you were capable of listening, I'd shut up.
Dr. Gregory House: That makes no sense at all.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Nobel invented dynamite. I won't accept his blood money.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: J'ever notice, how all the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa... can't think of any others, they all die alone? The men, on the other hand, get so much fuzz it's crazy.
Dr. Wilson: It's an unfair world.
________________________________________
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: If you would consider going to a shrink, I would pay for it myself. The hospital would hold a bake sale, for God's sake.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: [hearing serious news about patient on phone] Check it again. I'll be right there.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: What happened?
Dr. Gregory House: Apparently I can save money by switching to another long-distance carrier.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Well, there's the fever that Cameron was looking for.
Dr. Cameron: We knew if it was myelitis there had to be an -itis. This must be the infection that set it off.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. Except in this universe effect follows cause. I've complained about it, but...
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: Yeah, you're all about nurturing.
Dr. Gregory House: Do you need a hug?
________________________________________
Dr. Robert Chase: I'd give her two months.
Dr. Gregory House: On the bright side, it still means I was right.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, bite me!
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Eighth time's the charm!
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: The Cripple Boys. We should start a band.
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: "The body does crazy things." Well, that explains everything.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Trouble in paradise. 2 o'clock.
Dr. Wilson: Wait, your 2 o'clock or my 2 o'clock?
Dr. Gregory House: Over there!
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Chase loves me.
[about Wilson's horrible Chase impression]
Dr. Gregory House: And isn't Turkish.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: How does someone just start drooling? Chase? Were you wearing your short shorts?
________________________________________
Stacy Warner: I need to talk to you.
Dr. Gregory House: From the doorway?
Stacy Warner: It's confidential.
Dr. Gregory House: Cool. I love gossip.
________________________________________
Dr. Robert Chase: She was fine two hours ago.
Dr. Gregory House: If by fine you mean bleeding profusely out of every orifice, then yeah, I believe you.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: You don't have a problem with what I did?
________________________________________
Dr. Robert Chase: In pre-med, I had a professor who...
Dr. Gregory House: - touched you in the naughty place?
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: [after running into a waiting patient holding a cup full of a yellow liquid] He peed on me!
________________________________________
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You want me to put Hank Wiggin on the transplant list?
Dr. Gregory House: He needs a new kidney. I was thinking the kidney people might have some.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Well, they like to save them for people who have... how do I put this?... kidney problems.
________________________________________
Dr. Cameron: [outraged] You pulled my medical records?
Dr. Gregory House: You coughed the other day, I was concerned.
Dr. Cameron: You were curious. Like an eight year old boy with a puzzle that's just a little too grown up for him to figure out.
[stalks off]
Dr. Gregory House: To-MAY-to, to-MAH-to...
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: I saw the light on.
Dr. Cameron: It's daytime.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. It's a figure of speech. Always so literal.
[pause]
Dr. Cameron: Got a new cane.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. Guy in the store said it was slimming. Vertical stripe...
Dr. Cameron: Why are you here?
Dr. Cameron: Vogler is dead.
Dr. Cameron: What? What happened?
Dr. Gregory House: Again with the literal translation. Vogler the idea, Mr. Destructo, Mr. Moneybags, bow does before me; he is gone from the hospital, so things can go back to the way they were.
Dr. Cameron: The way they were was kind of weird.
Dr. Gregory House: Weird works for me.
Dr. Cameron: What are you saying? Literally?
Dr. Gregory House: I want you to come back.
Dr. Cameron: Why?
[House's beeper goes off, Cameron crosses her arms]
Dr. Gregory House: Please unclench. You're not on the clock, and when you do that, I clench, and then it's the whole thing...
Dr. Cameron: Could you look at your pager?
[he does]
Dr. Gregory House: It's no big deal, some sort of epidemic. Not my area.
Dr. Cameron: You should go, it's important.
Dr. Gregory House: What I'm doing now is important.
Dr. Cameron: Why do you want me back?
Dr. Gregory House: Because you're a good doctor.
Dr. Cameron: That's it?
Dr. Gregory House: That's not enough?
Dr. Cameron: Not for me. Go deal with your plague.
[she shuts the door in his face]
________________________________________
Dr. Robert Chase: You two are just too nasty to each other not to have been... nasty.
Dr. Gregory House: Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I am that good.
________________________________________
[someone is groaning in the restroom stall]
Dr. Gregory House: Good lord, are you having a bowel movement or a baby?
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Why are you doing this?
Dr. Cameron: I'm not doing anything.
Dr. Gregory House: You're manipulating everyone.
Dr. Cameron: People... dismiss me. Because I'm a woman, because I'm pretty, because I'm not agressive. My opinions shouldn't be rejected just because people don't like me.
Dr. Gregory House: They like you. Everyone likes you.
[he starts to walk away]
Dr. Cameron: Do you?
[pause]
Dr. Cameron: I have to know.
Dr. Gregory House: No.
Dr. Cameron: [smiles quietly] Okay.
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: [House is attempting to put on a tie before his date with Cameron] The wide side's too short. You're gonna look like Lou Costello.
Dr. Gregory House: This is a mistake. I don't know how to have casual conversation. You think you're talking about one thing, and either you are and it's incredibly boring, or you're not because it's subtext and you need a decoder ring.
Dr. Wilson: Open doors for her, help her with her chair...
Dr. Gregory House: I have been on a date.
Dr. Wilson: Uh, not since disco died. Comment on her shoes, her earrings, and then move on to D.H.A. : her Dreams, Hopes, and Aspirations. Trust me. Panty-peeler. Oh, and if you need condoms, I've got some.
Dr. Gregory House: [sarcastically] Did your wife give them to you?
Dr. Wilson: Drug rep. They got antibiotics built in, somehow.
Dr. Gregory House: I should cancel. I've got a patient in surgery tomorrow.
[House moves to the kitchen]
Dr. Wilson: And if you were a surgeon, that would actually matter. That's a good idea, settle your nerves. Get me a beer too.
Dr. Gregory House: No beer.
Dr. Wilson: You're gonna eat before dinner?
[House reaches into the friedge and takes out a corsage]
Dr. Gregory House: This is pretty lame, right?
Dr. Wilson: I think she likes lame.
________________________________________
Dr. Robert Chase: [about Cameron and House's upcoming date] House isn't going to hand you anything. You want him, you've gotta take him. Jump him.
________________________________________
Dr. Roger Spain (First Applicant): Wow, I thought you'd be the last person to have a problem with nonconformity.
Dr. Gregory House: Nonconformity; right... I can't remember the last time saw a twenty something kid with a tattoo of an Asian letter on his wrist. You are one wicked free thinker! You want to be a rebel; stop being cool. Wear a pocket protector like he does, and get a hair cut. Like the Asian kids that don't leave the library for a twenty hours stretch. They're the ones that don't care what you think.
[pause]
Dr. Gregory House: Sayonara
[Dr. Spain exits office]
Dr. Wilson: So, should I go through all the resumes looking for Asian names?
Dr. Gregory House: Actually, the Asian kids are probably just responding to parental pressure, but my point is still valid.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Read less, more TV.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: That's absurd. I love it.
________________________________________
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You need a lawyer.
________________________________________
Anica Jovanovich: You know, I was going to ask what a respectable doctor was doing in an OTB parlor... somehow, that question doesn't seem relevant any more.
Dr. Gregory House: What's your excuse?
Anica Jovanovich: Turns me on.
Dr. Gregory House: What else turns you on? Drugs? Casual sex? Rough sex?
[pause]
Dr. Gregory House: Casual rough sex? I'm a doctor, I need to know.
________________________________________
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: When I hired you, I knew you were insane. I will continue to try and stop you from doing insane things, but once they're done, trying to convince an insane person not to do insane things is, in itself, insane. So when I hired you, I also set aside fifty thousand a year for legal expenses. So far, you've come in under budget.
________________________________________
Stacy Warner: You avoid work like the plague, unless it actually is the plague.
________________________________________
Stacy Warner: God, you are such an idiot.
Dr. Gregory House: Actually, I thought I was more of a jerk.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: [to the crowd in the walk-in clinic's waiting area] Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House; you can call me "Greg." I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Short, sweet, grab a file.
Dr. Gregory House: This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a bored... certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor currently employed at this hospital who is forced to be here against his will.
[to Lisa]
Dr. Gregory House: That is true, isn't it?
[to crowd]
Dr. Gregory House: But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine! You can't have any! And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem... but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me?
[nobody moves]
Dr. Gregory House: And who would rather wait for one of the other two guys?
[everybody raises their hand]
Dr. Gregory House: Okay, well, I'll be in Exam Room One if you change your mind.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Jody Matthews?
[Jody raises her hand]
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Please accompany Doctor House to Exam Room One.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Oxygen is so important during those prepubescent years, don't you think?
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: No neurologist in his right mind would recommend that.
Dr. Gregory House: Show of hands: who thinks I'm not in my right mind? And who thinks I forget this very basic neurological fact? Who thinks there's a third option?
[Dr. Chase raises his hand]
Dr. Gregory House: Very good. What's the third choice?
Dr. Robert Chase: No idea. You just asked if I thought there was one.
________________________________________
Dr. Cameron: Twelve-year-olds don't have sex.
Dr. Gregory House: Their mistake.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: [sticking his head into an exam room] Need a consult!
Dr. Wilson: With a patient!
Dr. Gregory House: Urgent doctor stuff.
________________________________________
Dr. Cameron: All this hate is toxic.
________________________________________
Dr. Robert Chase: How'd you like it if I interfered in your personal life?
Dr. Gregory House: I'd hate it. That's why, cleverly, I have no personal life.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Clue number one - if I were Jesus, curing this kid would be as easy as turning water into wine.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Demonic possession?
Dr. Gregory House: Close, but no wafer.
________________________________________
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [House is reporting for clinic duty] You're half an hour late.
Dr. Gregory House: Busy case load.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: One case is not a "load".
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: I love my wife.
Dr. Gregory House: You certainly love saying it.
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: At least I try.
Dr. Gregory House: Well, as long as you're trying to be good, you can do whatever you want.
Dr. Wilson: And as long as you're not trying, you can say whatever you want.
Dr. Gregory House: So between us we can do anything. We can rule the world!
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: I find your interest interesting.
________________________________________
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: It takes two department heads to treat shortness of breath? What, did the complications increase exponentially with cup size?
________________________________________
Dr. Cameron: You want me to tell a man whose wife is about to die that she may have cheated on him?
Dr. Gregory House: No, I want you to be polite and let her die.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Chicks dig this
[waves cane]
Dr. Gregory House: It's better than a puppy!
________________________________________
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: People talk.
Dr. Gregory House: About how big your ass is getting? I've been defending you- you got back!
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: You assaulted that man!
Dr. Gregory House: Fine. I'll never do it again.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Yes you will.
Dr. Gregory House: All the more reason this debate is pointless.
________________________________________
Dr. Cameron: I'm uncomfortable about sex.
Dr. Robert Chase: Well, we don't have to talk about this...
Dr. Cameron: Sex COULD kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, and secretions spit out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight. It's violent. It's ugly. And it's messy. And if God hadn't made it UNBELIEVABLY fun, the human race would have died out eons ago.
[She pauses to catch her breath]
Dr. Robert Chase: [He is speechless]
Dr. Cameron: Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. Know that women can have an hour long orgasm?
Dr. Eric Foreman: [enters]
Dr. Cameron: [as if nothing had just occurred] Hey Foreman. What's up?
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Ah, a rash, call a dermatologist. If it's wet, keep it dry. If it's dry, keep it wet. If it's not supposed to be there, cut it off. I never could remember all that.
________________________________________
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I need you to wear your lab coat.
Dr. Gregory House: I need two days of outrageous sex with someone obscenely younger than you. Like half your age.
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: Billionaires buy movie studios to get laid. They buy hospitals to get respect.
Dr. Gregory House: And the reason you want respect?
Dr. Wilson: To... get laid.
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: [paraphrasing House's frequent quote] "Everybody lies"... except *politicians*? House, I believe you are a romantic. You didn't just believe him, you believed in him. You wanna come over tonight and watch old movies and *cry*?
[pauses, points]
Dr. Wilson: Dr. Cameron's getting to you. Well, I guess you can't be around that much *niceness* and not get any on you
Dr. Gregory House: Is that why you haven't put the moves on her?
Dr. Wilson: What makes you think I *haven't* put the moves on her?
Dr. Gregory House: [Stops and stares]
Dr. Wilson: [points] Oh.
[he's onto something big]
Dr. Wilson: [whispers] Oh *boy*! You're in trouble.
[laughs and exits]
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: [to House] These regulations aren't just here to annoy you.
________________________________________
Dr. Robert Chase: I think we need to take his girlfriend's theory into account.
Dr. Cameron: Oh, and what is that?
Dr. Robert Chase: She thinks she rode him to death.
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: Even I don't like you!
Dr. Gregory House: Words can hurt you know.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Like I always say, there's no "I" in team. There's a "me" though, if you jumble it up.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: [searching Cuddy's house for the cause of her handyman's illness]
[holds up a thong]
Dr. Gregory House: Does this count as red?
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Right rudder. Bank, bank, bank!
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Good coffee? The rest of this hospital is busting its tail and you're...
[House's eyes get really wide, and he covers them with his folder]
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: What are you doing?
Dr. Gregory House: Trying to think of anything except the produce department at Whole Foods.
[Wilson smirks]
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I am working. It got hot. Stop acting like a 13-year-old!
Dr. Gregory House: Sorry. You just don't normally see breasts like that on Deans of Medicine.
[Wilson tries to look anywhere except at Cuddy's chest]
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Women can't be heads of hospitals? Or just ugly ones?
Dr. Gregory House: No, they can be babes. It's just you don't normally see their fun bags.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: I'm extremely disappointed. I send you out for exciting, new designer drugs, you come back with tomato sauce.
________________________________________
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Your reputation won't last if you don't do your job; the clinic is part of your job. I want you to do your job.
Dr. Gregory House: But as the philosopher Jagger once said "You can't always get what you want."
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Everybody lies.
________________________________________
[repeated line]
Dr. Gregory House: We're missing something.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Hey! You're killing her!
Edward Vogler: Really?
Dr. Gregory House: She knew the risks! One blip in the data and your results are off!
Edward Vogler: The FDA eats blips for breakfast! One person shouldn't endanger thousands!
Dr. Gregory House: Thank God for you to save all those lives!
Edward Vogler: [chuckles] Calm down. Why don't you play some Game Boy? Watch your soap? I hear they're firing the handsome doctor today.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Overall, drug addicts are idiots
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: [trying to get Cuddy to leave the room by admitting malpractice] So there I was, in the clinic, drunk, so I opened the drawer, closed my eyes, grabbed the first syringe I could find...
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: I love my wife.
Dr. Gregory House: You loved all your wives.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Less money is made by biochemists working on a cure for cancer than by their colleagues struggling valiantly to hide steroid use.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: That's why you're here? She wants you to keep an eye on me, make sure I don't cheat.
Dr. Wilson: No, I wanted to make sure you don't start firing shots from the clock tower.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: I take risks, sometimes patients die, but not taking risks causes more patients to die - so I guess my biggest problem is I've been cursed with the ability to do the math.
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: How'd she get to you?
Dr. Gregory House: She's the CEO of Sonyo cosmetics. Three assistants and fifteen VPs checked out who should be treating her. Who da man? I da man. I always suspected.
________________________________________
Dr. Cameron: That's not necessarily bad news.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Do you ever watch "Gilligan's Island" reruns and really, really think they're going to get off the island this time?
________________________________________
Dr. Robert Chase: Well, let's go further outside the box. Let's say the angio revealed a clot, and let's say we treated that clot, and now she's all better, and personally thanked me by performing...
Dr. Cameron: My Aunt Elisa lives in Philadelphia.
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, it's storytime! Let me get my baba.
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: Oh, this is where I give you advice and pretend you are going listen to it, I love this part.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Be home by midnight or you can't have the car this weekend.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Fascinating story. Did you think about adapting it to the stage?
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: You don't want to burden him because you were such a lousy dad.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Dr. Cuddy. Thanks for the consult. His throat seems to have some condition.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: He has a sore throat.
Dr. Gregory House: Of *course*! Yes! Why didn't I... He... He said that it hurt and I should have deduced that it was sore.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I was in a board meeting.
Dr. Gregory House: Patients come first, right?
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: It's dangerous, it could kill him. You should do it.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: McPhearson? Horrible doctor, I heard he tortured kittens.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: No, McDonald.
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, McDonald? Wonderful Doctor, loves kittens
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: You're not going to be happy with anyone.
Dr. Gregory House: So, what, your advice is... hire someone I'm not happy with and be happy?
Dr. Wilson: No, my advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass. You always find some tiny little flaw to push people away.
Dr. Gregory House: Now it's people. I thought we were talking about fellowship applicants.
Dr. Wilson: You have a history of this.
Dr. Gregory House: Well, when I do decide to push you away, I hope there's a small person kneeling behind you so you fall down and hurt your head.
________________________________________
Dr. Cameron: [discussing a patient's diagnosis] What about sex?
Dr. Gregory House: Well, it might get complicated. We work together. I am older, certainly, but maybe you like that.
Dr. Cameron: I meant maybe he has neurosyphilis.
Dr. Gregory House: Heh, nice cover.
________________________________________
[to House]
Dr. Cameron: I thought you were too screwed up to love anyone. I was wrong. You just couldn't love me. It's okay. I'm happy for you.
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: Why did you kill your girlfriend?
Clarence: The bitch stepped out.
[Foreman stabs him with a needle]
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: How are we doing on the cotton swabs today? If there's a critical shortage, I could run home.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: No, you couldn't.
Dr. Gregory House: Nice.
________________________________________
Jill: My joints have been feeling all loose, and lately I've been feeling sick a lot. Maybe I'm overtraining; I'm doin' the marathon, like, ten miles a day,
[House looks tired]
Jill: but I can't seem to lose any weight.
Dr. Gregory House: Lift up your arms.
[she does so]
Dr. Gregory House: You have a parasite.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
Dr. Gregory House: Lie back and lift up your sweater.
[she lies back, and still has her hands up]
Dr. Gregory House: You can put your arms down.
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
Dr. Gregory House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
[he starts to ultrasound her abdomen]
Jill: Illegal?
Dr. Gregory House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
Jill: Playdates?
Dr. Gregory House: [shows her the ultrasound] It has your eyes.
[it's a baby]
________________________________________
Dr. Cameron: I'm the only one who's always stood behind you when you've screwed up.
Dr. Gregory House: Why? Why would you support someone who screws up?
Dr. Cameron: Because I'm not insanely insecure, and because I can actually trust in another human being, and I am not an angry, misanthropic son of a bitch.
Dr. Gregory House: I'm sorry. You said you *weren't* angry.
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: You are aware of the Hippocratic oath, right?
Dr. Gregory House: The one that starts, "First, do no harm", then goes on to tell us: no abortions, no seductions, and definitely no cutting of those who labor beneath the stone? Yeah, took a read once. Wasn't impressed.
________________________________________
Nurse #2: I'll get a doctor.
Dr. Gregory House: Well, you'd better hurry. You've got about twenty seconds before I go into cardiac arrest.
[machines start to sound]
Dr. Gregory House: Huh, I was wrong.
________________________________________
Dr. Eric Foreman: This guy's been injecting himself how many times a day? All it'd take is one slip of the needle to cause an air embolus.
Dr. Gregory House: So air is keeping him from breathing air. Let's go with that for the irony.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: [House has had a confrontation with Stacy's wheelchair-bound husband] How awkward was that? What is he doing here, anyway? He's got physio Tuesdays and Fridays.
Dr. Wilson: He's in group therapy for people coping with disability. He thought about developing a drug addiction, but that would be stupid.
Dr. Gregory House: Hey! You again!
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: The drugs don't make me high, they make me neutral.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: I teach you to lie, cheat, and steal, and as soon as my back's turned you wait in line?
________________________________________
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: How is waking me up in the middle of the night to lie to a patient supposed to convince me you're better than House?
Dr. Eric Foreman: [holds up coffee] I brought you coffee?
________________________________________
Dr. Wilson: Did you know your phone is dead? Do you ever recharge the batteries?
Dr. Gregory House: They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Sorry, I missed that. White count's been down since the Ricky Martin concert. Some cholo kicked me in the head.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a...
[pauses]
Dr. Gregory House: I can't think of a non-sexual metaphor.
________________________________________
[upon seeing bowls of candy canes set out for Christmas]
Dr. Gregory House: Candy *canes*? Are you mocking me?
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: Would the world be a better place if people never felt guilty? Makes sex better. Shoulda seen her in the last months of our relationship. Lot of guilt. *Lot* of screaming.
________________________________________
[repeated line]
Dr. Cameron: I hate sports metaphors.
________________________________________
Dr. Cameron, Dr. Eric Foreman, Dr. Robert Chase: [speaking about patient's symptoms] We've got rectal bleeding.
Dr. Gregory House: What, all three of you?
________________________________________
[House has a patient, and finds Chase chatting up a girl]
Dr. Gregory House: [to Chase] Hey, how's that anal fissure?
________________________________________
[House opens door loudly]
Dr. Wilson: Ahh!
Dr. Gregory House: Nineteen year old, didn't want to hear the coolest explanation of why she's going to die... begged me to shut up!
Dr. Gregory House: [slams the door]
Dr. Wilson: [cringes] Well, if you cant shut up, at least talk quietly.
Dr. Gregory House: [turns on lights] Anphedamine withdrawel's a bitch. She thought, that I was HAPPY!
[stares at wilson]
Dr. Wilson: You were, happy?
Dr. Gregory House: NO! I was hazy! And I dont get HAZY on vicodin, or anything else I throw down... Which means, I was throwing down something that I didn't know I was throwing down. And that got me to wondering, why didn't you give me those HAPPY pills?
Dr. Wilson: I told you, you gotta be checked out by...
Dr. Gregory House: NO! You just didn't want me double-dosing!
Dr. Gregory House: [wilson looks embarressed] YOU DOSED ME! Those coffees...
Dr. Wilson: They worked! You've been smiling, relaxed, happy!
Dr. Gregory House: A dying girl thought I was happy... a MORON thought I was happy! Who the hell doesn't want to know she's dying?
Dr. Wilson: House... was HAPPY.
Dr. Gregory House: HAZY!
Dr. Wilson: HAPPY.
________________________________________
Dr. Gregory House: [walks in] Good morning.
[looks at coffee mug, laughs]
Dr. Gregory House: Hah, this is funny, people don't...
Dr. Cameron: Not done reading, go away.
Dr. Gregory House: [House leaves]
Dr. Cameron: Most likely, she coughed it up, which would mean its from her lungs. Drugs, toxins, infections?
Dr. Eric Foreman: No fever, no elevated white count, which rules out infections...
Dr. Cameron: And, blood panels found no drugs, or toxins.
Dr. Robert Chase: Loncoscopy was pristine... so much for the lungs...
Dr. Gregory House: [walks back in] Good morning!
Dr. Robert Chase: Not yet!
[House leaves again]
Dr. Cameron: So then the blood came from her stomach, which would mean its an ulser or a GI bleed.
Dr. Eric Foreman: The ER also ran an upper and lower GI, no blood.
Dr. Robert Chase: Which means no ulser or GI bleed, which means its not from the stomach either, which means... the blood didnt come from anywhere?
[Everyone looks confused]
Dr. Gregory House: [Pops head in] Did you guys get to the point that the blood doesn't come from anywhere?

Trivia For House

2007-12-19T09:25:00.000+02:00

• The show takes place in the Mercer County area of New Jersey. In the opening credits, there are shots of various locations around the area of Princeton, Trenton, West Windsor, and Plainsboro, including Princeton University. The hospital, Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, is based on a real hospital in Princeton, Princeton Hospital, the University Medical Center at Princeton. An Executive Producer and the director of the pilot episode, Bryan Singer, is from the area, and attended West Windsor-Plainsboro High School.
• The aerial shots of the hospital are actually of the back of Frist Student Center at Princeton University.
• In the episode where Wilson moves in with House (Season 2), House's tivo list is shown. One of the saved programs is "Blackadder", featuring Hugh Laurie.
• Hugh Laurie's own father was a doctor, and he feels a twinge of guilt at "being paid more to become a fake version of my own father."
• During Hugh Laurie's audition, David Shore says that Bryan Singer, one of the executive producers, said, "See, this is what I want; an American guy." Singer was completely unaware of the fact that Hugh Laurie is British.
• Hugh Laurie auditioned for the part of Dr. House via video shot in a hotel bathroom in Namibia, where he was shooting the film Flight of the Phoenix (2004). "It was the only place with enough light," the actor claimed.

• The motorcycle that Dr. House owns is a 2005 Honda CBR1000RR Repsol Replica.
• Although the Diagnostic Medicine team deal with all types of diseases, House and his colleagues hold titles in various subspecialties: Dr. Foreman is a neurologist; Dr. Cameron is an immunologist/allergist; Dr. Chase is an intensivist. As for Dr. House, he is double-certified in infectious disease and nephrology (as mentioned in episode #1.3).
• The show was inspired by The Diagnosis Column in the New York Times Magazine which spotlights unusual medical cases. Executive Producer Paul Attanasio came up with the concept and pitched it to the networks as a medical procedural. Creator David Shore revised the idea into a character drama where the medical cases became the instrument instead of the focus of the storytelling.
• In his office, Dr. Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) has posters from classic films Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo (1958) and Orson Welles's Touch of Evil (1958).
• The Production Company credit at the end of the show for Bad Hat Harry productions ("That's some bad hat, Harry") is a reference to the movie Jaws (1975).
• Dr. Robert Chase (Jesse Spencer) is an intensivist, a doctor who specializes in intensive care. This specialty is new and uncommon in the United States, but well-established in Australia, where the character is from.
• Jesse Spencer and Jennifer Morrison became engaged in December of 2006. This was at roughly the time they were shooting the first episodes in which their characters, Dr. Chase and Dr. Cameron, began a romantic relationship.
• Dr. Gregory House was based on Sherlock Holmes... but Holmes, in turn, was based on a Doctor that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle knew while studying medicine, a Dr. Bell, whose specialty was diagnosis.

• Robert Sean Leonard was the first actor to be cast.
• Sándor Szakácsi, the Hungarian voice of Dr. House died in March 2007, he could only finish the dubbing of 11 episodes of the second season. As a tribute to him, the TV channel decided to use the unfinished work, therefore in the first half of episode 12 of season 2 we still hear Sándor, then the new voice, János Kulka takes over the job. The commercial break (there is only one in Hungary) is inserted where the change takes place - actually in the middle of a scene.
• When a student in the audience of Hugh Laurie's edition of "Inside the Actors Studio" (1994) asked Laurie if he thought Dr. House should be romantically involved with Cameron, Cuddy or Wilson, Laurie said: "I suspect that if the show runs long enough, he's going to run through all of them. What order that unfolds in is not for me to say. I think any of those relationships is, of course, believable. Two people can always find some comfort or attraction, so I think all are possible. I think Robert [Sean Leonard] might have something to say about it... I don't know how Robert would take that. But you know, I'm game."
• From a promo picture for the show's fourth season, it was discovered that Dr. Wilson received his undergraduate degree from McGill University in Montreal, QC. He'd been seen previously wearing a McGill sweater. He also received a degree from Columbia University's "School of Oncolgy" [sic].
• The gun the cop said he used a taser gun on Victoria. However, taser guns are illegal in New Jersey. Very few cops are allowed to carry them.
• The $100 bill that House tries to bribe the cop with is fake. The portrait of Ben Franklin is facing the wrong way.

• Since the mid-1980s the standard treatment for rabies in the U.S. is one shot in the butt, similar to a penicillin shot, and five in the arm with
• Getting the shots after the nerve symptoms show up is useless: at that point the brain is already involved and you are dead.
• Foreman gets bitten on the hand and shows nerve tingling within hours. in reality, the first symptoms would take at least four days and could be a lot longer.
• There is no lab test for rabies in living beings - the confirming diagnosis can only be done by post-mortem examination of the brain.
• Given New Jersey is (real life) in the midst of a real on-going raccoon rabies epizootic, it takes a long time for them to diagnose rabies. The lack of fever, varying lucidity, sensitivity to sensory inputs, and the inability to swallow should have been dead giveaways, not to mention the bats.
• House deduces that Lucille has been cheating on her husband from the color of her children's eyes. Both Lucille and her husband have brown eyes while most of their children have blue. Brown eyes are a dominant trait, but we know that Lucille must have the gene for both brown and blue eyes or else none her children could have blue eyes. Theoretically her husband could have the same mix of genes and then every child would have 25% chance of having blue eyes, which--unlikely as it is--could account for the majority of children with blue eyes.

• House wrote "TEMPORARY PSYCHOSIS" on his dry erase board and put his marker down. Then, the camera pans the room and Chase gives his theory as to why the girl did that. We then see the "TEMPORARY PSYCHOSIS" circled on the board (but House put his marker down earlier). They argue for a few minutes with "TEMPORARY PSYCHOSIS" circled. House tells Cameron & Chase to give her medicine. We see the board again and "TEMPORARY PSYCHOSIS" is not circled.
• Annette mentions Harvey was seen by an acupuncturist who diagnosed Liver Qi stagnation and sent Harvey to a Shen balancer. No practitioner in this area would do such thing as 1) Liver Qi stagnation isn't treated by balancing the Spiritual Aspect Shen and 2) any competent acupuncturist is capable of dealing with the situation and should easily move the Liver Qi to resolve such stagnation.
• This is the first episode with a cold open taking place inside the hospital. Each previous episode features a cold open with House's future patient just prior to hospitalization.
• At the end of the scene with Dr House and his team listening to the sounds of Andie's heart, Dr House changes from the sound of the heart to an opera song. However, because he is using a third generation iPod, he would have to change songs by hitting the track change button above the scroll wheel, which he does not do. Instead, he is rotating his thumb counterclockwise, which should be reducing the volume, which does not happen, nor should it change tracks because he does not have the click wheel featured in iPod generations 4 and after.

• The top right button (as we watch, it will be the top button to the left side of the screen.) of House's black coat changes. When he exits the elevator at the beginning, while talking to Wilson, it's a creamy brown, then it changes to a black button that matches the others. And later on, it goes back to the creamy coffee-colored one again.

Angel Season One

2007-12-15T19:00:00.000+02:00

City of...
After Angel has left Sunnydale he comes to LA. He finds out that LA is not only about stars and money. When he meets Doyle and Cordelia they decide to start a service to "protect the helpless". Angel, a vampire with a soul, arrives in Los Angeles. Having left Sunnydale and his true love Buffy (the Vampire Slayer) behind, Angel is searching for a place to call his own and a means to redeem himself for past sins as a brutal, malicious, bloodthirsty killer. Doyle, a half human, half demon, is sent to him by “The Powers That Be” to help him on his path. The Irish half-breed advises Angel to live among the people of the city so as to avoid losing his own humanity. Doyle also reveals that he has had a vision of a young girl in trouble, prompting Angel to go on his first mission to help the helpless. The girl’s name is Tina, and Angel learns that she is being stalked by a powerful vampire. As the investigation goes deeper, Angel learns that this creature preys on many aspiring actresses, and his latest target is an old friend from Sunnydale who has just arrived in the City of Angels.
Lonely Hearts
"Lonely Hearts" deals with murders at a popular LA night club. Doyle gets a vision from the Powers That Be, and soon the gang at Angel Inc. thinks that something demonic is afoot at the bar. Angel has to go "undercover" there, as a single veterinarian, so he can catch the killer. Meanwhile, he meets up with a woman named Kate Lockely, who might just be more than she seems. Doyle receives a new vision that sends the group to the club scene. They soon learn they are looking for a serial killer who has been seeking his prey in D'Oblique, a local singles bar. While searching the crowd, Angel meets a woman named Kate who seems to be the type that the killer has been targeting. Distracted because he is making a real, human connection with Kate, Angel does not notice another young woman being lured out of the bar. The next night Angel manages to find a clue to the killer’s location, and he races against time to prevent another innocent death. However, someone else is heading to the same place perhaps to help Angel, perhaps to stop him.

In the Dark
Oz comes to LA with a gift from Buffy. She has sent Angel the the Ring of Amara, which makes any vampire wearing it "unkill-able." Unfortunatly for Angel, Spike has also arrived in town and he's determined to get the ring for himself. Angel soon finds himself in deep trouble and it's up to Doyle, Oz and Cordy to save him. Oz visits L.A. with a present for Angel from Buffy. It’s the Gem of Amarra, a ring which has been a vampire myth for millennia. While wearing it, a vampire is immune to crosses, stakes, and can even walk in daylight. It isn’t long before Spike arrives in town, searching for the ring. And he has no plans of leaving until he gets it.
I Fall to Pieces
The gang at Angel Inc. helps a stalking victim. A creepy doctor is obsessed with his ex-girlfriend and, somehow, he knows everything that she does. Angel begins to suspect that something supernatural is going on and investigates the doctor's past. Soon Angel, Doyle and Cordy are all in danger as they realize that the doctor is more than he seems.
Rm w/a Vu
Fed up with her horrible apartment, Cordy packs her bags and moves in with Angel. He's soon overwhelmed by her bossy, destructive presence and tells Doyle to find her an new place to live. Doyle's being chased by loan sharks, so he has problems of his own. Still, he locates the perfect place for Cordy and she happily signs the lease. But, there's still a slight problem... Cordelia's new apartment is haunted. And her ghostly roommate wants Cordy gone.
Sense and Sensitivity
Kate lands in some hot water after she roughs up a prisoner named Little Tony. She and the entire police department are forced to go to sensitivity training. Unfortunatly, Little Tony's lawyers are Wolfram and Hart. They have a plan to set their client free by casting a spell on the whole police force. Soon, all the officers are expressing their true feelings and being so sensitive that lives are in danger. The gang at Angel Inc. tries to stop the chaos, but Angel quickly winds up in trouble of his own.

The Bachelor Party
After saving Cordy from a vampire attack, Doyle is optimistic about his chances with her. When his estranged wife shows up at the Angel Inc. offices, though, Doyle suddenly has some explaining to do. It seems that Harry, his wife, has met someone new and she wants to finalize her divorce from Doyle. Doyle's suspicious of Harry's new fiancée. He and Angel investigate the guy and are surprised by what they find.
I Will Remember You
After Angel's secretive visit to Sunnydale, Buffy appears in Los Angeles to find out why he came to protect her. During her visit, she and Angel are both attacked by a strange demon and Angel, after being infected with the demon's blood, becomes human once again. He and Buffy spend a blissful day together, but when the demon becomes more and more persistent in its attacks, Angel comes to realize that he must sacrifice his humanity in order to protect the citizens of Los Angeles.
Hero
The gang at Angel Inc. works to save a group of demon refugees and soon find themselves in the middle of a war. An evil band of demons, called the Scourge, is in LA. They're determined to wipe out all the "impure" demons and humans that they can find. When the Scourge unleashes a deadly weapon Angel, Cordy and Doyle are faced with an impossible decision and the ramifications from it will change the them forever.
Parting Gifts
Wesley arrives in town as a "rogue demon hunter" and he's soon working with Angel on his newest case. Meanwhile, Cordy has inherited Doyle's link to the Powers That Be and she is being plagued with visions. A empath demon comes to Angel Inc. looking for help and Angel promises to investigate, but it quickly becomes clear that something strange is going on. Angel and Wes have to save Cordy before it's too late.

Somnambulist
After learning about a new serial killer's M.O., Wesley believes that Angelus has returned. Angel’s past deeds come back to haunt him as he dreams about killing again but when the dreams become identical to a number of murders in the area Angel fears that he is killing in his sleep.
Expecting
Cordelia has a date, wakes up at home and is very pregnant. She has been impregnated by a demon. After a wild night on the town, Cordelia wakes up to find that she is at least six months pregnant. When it is found out that it is a demon that Cordelia is carrying can Angel and Wesley find a way to prevent the imminent birth from killing her?
She
After Cordy gets a vision from the Powers That Be, Angel finds himself fighting demons from an alternate dimension. Desperate to escape their own cruel world, where the females are used as virtual slaves, demon women are smuggling themselves to earth. Unfortunatly, the men from that dimension are out to stop them and it's up to the gang at Angel Inc. to help the refugees find safety.
I've Got You Under My Skin
One of Cordy's visions sends Angel and Wes out to help a family in trouble. An dangerous Ethros demon is possessing someone in the household. Ethros demons force their victims to commit horrible acts and the gang at Angel Inc. has to perform an exorcism. Things quickly go wrong, though, and soon everyone is in even bigger danger. Meanwhile, Wes deals with memories of his own traumatic childhood and Angel continues to miss Doyle.
The Prodigal
Kate's father, Trevor Lockley, gets involved in a demon drug smuggling operation and he's soon in over his head. When a demon high on drugs attacks the subway, Angel begins investigating and quickly discovers Trevor's shady dealings. He tries to warn Trevor, but it's too late. When Trevor is attacked, Kate blames Angel for not doing more. Meanwhile, through flash backs, Angel's own father is introduced, Angel's past as a human is shown and Angelus is born.
The Ring
When an investigation goes wrong, Angel finds himself kidnapped by a demon fight club. He's trapped there, forced to fight other demons as part of a gladiator show. Cordy and Wes search for him, desperate to rescue Angel before it's too late. Meanwhile, Angel meets another Wolfram and Hart lawyer, Lila Morgan. She promises to get Angel out of the club if he agrees to come over to Wolfram and Hart's side.

Eternity
When Rebecca, a Hollywood star, is stalked by an obsessed fan, Angel steps in to protect her. Cordy is thrilled to meet a famous actress and even Angel likes Rebecca. She accepts that he's a vampire and really seems interested in getting to know him better. But, it soon becomes clear that the case is more complicated than it seems and Rebecca has a dangerous plan of her own.
Five by Five
This episode brings Faith to LA. She's still struggling with her darkness and fleeing her life in Sunnydale. After Angel ruins another Wolfram and Hart case, they set out to get rid of him once and for all. And who better to do the job than Faith, a rouge Vampire Slayer? They hire her to kill Angel, unaware that Angel identifies with Faith's pain. Meanwhile, Faith is driven by self-hatred and is careening out of control as she goes after Angel and his friends.
Sanctuary
The second half of Faith's appearance in LA has her bonding with Angel. She's utterly drained and has no more fight left in her. Angel takes her in and become her redemption "sponser." He promises to help her find a way to forgive herself and start over. But, there are still a lot of problems to overcome. Wes and Cordy aren't too happy that Angel's forgiven Faith. The Watcher's Council goons are still after Faith. Lila, Lindsey and Lee are hiring another assassin. Kate wants to arrest Angel. And, oh yeah, Buffy's on her way to LA looking for payback on Faith. In the end, it's up to Faith to choose a new path and save herself.
War Zone
A case sends Angel into a rough part of town. While he's there he meets up with a young group of vampire hunters, headed by a guy name Gunn. Angel is concerned that the kids are in over their heads as they battle vamps. He tries to help them, but they aren't willing to believe that he's one of the White Hats. Gunn and his friends are soon in big trouble and it's up to the gang from Angel Inc. to lend a hand before it's too late.

Blind Date
When Wolfram and Hart plots to kill three mystical children, Lindsey begins to question his loyalties. He's willing to be evil, but he's not willing to murder kids. He goes to Angel for help. Along with Gunn, they devise a plan to break into Wolfram and Hart and steal the discs they'll need to save the children. While Angel is in Wolfram and Hart's vault, though, he finds a mysterious scroll that holds some interesting information about his destiny. Meanwhile, Lindsey had to choose a side once and for all.
To Shanshu in L.A.
In the season one finale, Angel Inc. is facing it's biggest challenges ever. A demon attacks Cordy and Wes, leaving Angel worried and desperate to protect them. Plus, Angel's home is targeted, Kate's threatening to arrest him, and the Shanshu Prophesy might have some bad news about his future. To make matters worse, Wolfram and Hart is conducting a mystical ritual to "raise" something that might destroy Angel once and for all. He'll have to work hard if he's going to save Cordy and stop Wolfram and Hart's newest plot.

Angel Season Two

2007-12-15T18:55:00.000+02:00

Judgment
Misinterpreting one of Cordy's visions, Angel tries to help a pregnant woman and accidentally kills her demon protector. Now, Angel must fulfill the dead warrior's mission and fight a battle to save the woman's unborn baby. When the woman runs off though, Angel is forced to make an incredible sacrifice to find her again... He has to sing at a karaoke bar.
Are You Now or Have You Ever Been
After running across it, Angel is vaguely familiar with an abandoned building, the Hyperion hotel. At his request, Wesley and Cordelia discover that Angel used to be a tenant in the hotel in the 1950s. At that time, Angel was pulled into a sticky situation with a woman hiding her past which lead to an unfortunate end. In the present day, Angel and the team attempt to rid the hotel of its demons. Meanwhile, Wolfram & Hart unleash a new plan to get to Angel.
First Impressions
Darla is back from the dead and determined to drive Angel crazy. She's invading his dreams and disrupting his sleep, knocking him off his game. Meanwhile, Cordy gets a vision that Gunn may be in danger and goes off to help him. Gunn is annoyed with her interference. When they're confronted with vampires and a demon, though, Cordy and Gunn need to work together.
Untouched
After Cordelia receives a vision, Angel befriends a young girl from out of town at the risk of his safety. Bethany, running to L.A. to escape a tragic family life, has telekinetic abilities out of her control which she desperately wants to shed. Unfortunately, Lilah and Wolfram & Hart have insidious plans for Bethany's powers. As Angel works to help her reign in her powers, he receives nocturnal visits from the newly resurrected Darla which affect his abilities.

Dear Boy
After spotting Darla walking around LA, Angel becomes convinced that his sire is alive. Wes and Cordy think that he's imagining things, but Angel is determined to find Darla and discover what she's up to. Little does he know that Darla is working with Wolfram and Hart. Angel tracks her down, and quickly falls into their trap.
Guise Will Be Guise
Realizing his obsessions have climaxed, Angel embarks on a journey of enlightenment with the help of a swami. Cordelia is threatened by an assailant looking for Angel until Wesley steps in and assumes his boss' role. Wesley, as Angel, is tasked to protect a prominent businessman's daughter whose life is threatened. Everyone is shocked when Wesley makes a very personal connection to the client.
Darla
Angel continues to search for Darla. A series of flashbacks shows Darla life and unlife; from her first death in 1609, to her relationship with Angelus, to their breakup during the Boxer Rebellion. Her newly restored humanity weighing on her, Darla finally reaches an important decision that horrifies Angel.
The Shroud of Rahmon
When Gunn's cousin becomes involved in a plan to rob a museum, it's up to the gang at Angel Inc. to help him get out of it. The robbers are after the Shroud of Rahmon. Going undercover with the demon thieves, Angel and Gunn are soon in over their heads. The Shroud has magical powers that turn people crazy. Soon it's infecting all of them, even Angel. Angel's relationship with Detective Kate Lockley is both bettered and worsened when she intrudes on the heist.
The Trial
Darla is informed from Lindsey and Holland that there was an unfortunate side effect to her rebirth. Angel, learning of Darla's terminal condition, embarks on a mission to save her. Lorne directs Angel to a challenge which might restore Darla's health but at the cost of his life. Angel completes the challenge but Darla cannot be saved again because of her previous resurrection. Feeling broken, Angel tries to comfort Darla in her final stage until Lindsey shows up with an unexpected visitor.

Reunion
Angel is desperate to find Darla before she rises as a vampire. Unfortunately, Drusilla is working with Wolfram and Hart to make sure that Angel can't stop Darla's "rebirth." The gang at Angel Inc. becomes more and more concerned about Angel's growing darkness. Especially, when he makes a drastic and controversial decision regarding some Wolfram and Hart lawyers.
Redefinition
After firing his friends, Angel sets off on a mission to stop Dru and Darla. Wes, Cordy and Gunn are feeling lost and hurt. They wind up at Karitos and eventually discover that they just might be able to make it on their own. Meanwhile, Lila and Lindsey deal with the aftermath of being the only two survivors of the wine cellar massacre.
Blood Money
Wolfram and Hart are sponsoring a fund raising benefit for a local teen shelter. Angel is suspicious of their motives and starts investigating. Meanwhile, Wes, Gunn and Cordy work to establish their own detective business.
Happy Anniversary
Gene is a brilliant physicist, smitten with love, who is on the verge on discovering a method of manipulating the time and space relationship. One night at karaoke, Lorne discovers that Gene has no future past the next day as well as the rest of the world. Lorne and Angel set out to prevent Gene from freezing time around the world to preserve his fractured relationship. Meanwhile, Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn establish their own private investigation firm and stumble upon an intricate case involving a wealthy family and a demon.
The Thin Dead Line
Anne, head of the teen shelter, seeks assistance from Gunn, Wesley, and Cordelia when she learns of kids in the area being harassed by police officers. It seems a frustrated police chief in a bad part of town initiates a new program to combat rising violence on the streets: resurrecting officers killed in the line of duty. Unbeknownst to the others, Angel and Detective Lockley attempt to track down the zombie officers' puppet master. In the process, Wesley is shot and badly wounded by one of the officers. Angel however cannot bring himself to visit his former employee.
Reprise
As the Wolfram and Hart 75 year review draws near, Angel sees an opportunity to bring the whole company down. He is determined to get to the law firm's home office and destroy the senior partners. But, what he discovers has him hitting rock bottom. Meanwhile, Kate is fired from the police force, driving her to do something drastic.

Epiphany
Angel has an epiphany which has him questioning his actions over the past few months. Meanwhile, the three eyed demon clan is after Gunn, Wes and Cordy. It's up to Angel to save them... If they can all start trusting him again.
Disharmony
Cordelia is shocked when old friend Harmony unexpectedly shows up in Los Angeles. Cordelia invites her to stay at her apartment and catch up on old times. After a strange midnight encounter, Cordelia contacts Willow and is surprised to learn that Harmony is a vampire, not a lesbian as she initially thought. Wesley is not as accepting of Harmony's condition as the others and fears the worst. After a brief encounter with Lorne in which he tells her to stick with Cordelia, Harmony tags along with the gang as they investigate the kidnapping of humans. The investigation leads to a vampirical motivational speaker and his following that Harmony must infiltrate for reconnaissance. Once inside, the team learns Harmony betrayed them and led them into a trap. Once the battle subsides, Cordelia spares Harmony but tells her never to return.
Dead End
With a reevaluation upcoming for his department, Lindsey is referred to a clinic where he is able to receive a donor hand. Lindsey is shocked to discover that his hand has a mind of its own, jotting nefarious notes on its own accord. Meanwhile, the Angel Investigations crew follows up on a vision Cordelia has in which a man, who recently received a transplant eye from the same clinic, stabs himself. Lindsey and Angel's paths cross as they realize they are investigating the same matter. They discover the clinic is using donor body parts from a cache of unwilling subjects which was orchestrated by Wolfram & Hart. After the discovery, Lindsey decides to leave the firm leaving his promotion to Lilah.
Belonging
When a demon from Lorne's home dimension of Pylea arrives in LA, Lorne goes to Angel for help. The demon came through a portal and, as Team Angel investigates, they find evidence of more portal activity around the city. When Lorne's cousin arrives from Pylea, he joins in their hunt for the demon. Unfortunately, on his journey home again, he accidentally picks up an unexpected hitchhiker...

Over the Rainbow
After Cordy is swept through a portal, Angel and Wes are desperate to get her back. They come up with a plan to go to Pylea after her. Since it's Lorne's home dimension, they insist that he come along. Gunn is hesitant to go when Wes says that they might never be able to get back to earth. Meanwhile on Pylea, Cordy is sold as a "cow" and meets up with another portal refugee, Fred. Then Cordy has a vision and things become even more complicated for her.
Through the Looking Glass
Wes, Gunn, Angel and Lorne find Cordy in Pylea. She's being hailed as a princess because of her visions. Now, she's the ruler of the kingdom. While, Wes and Gunn try to find a way to open another portal and return home, Lorne visits his family. Angel is becoming incredibly popular with the locals, telling them tales of his battles back on earth. He even rescues Fred from certain death. But things quickly start to go wrong for everyone. Cordy realizes some disturbing things about her new responsibilities. Angel begins to lose control of his vampire self. Wes and Gunn find themselves under attack. And Lorne is arrested for treason.
There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb
The season two finale has Team Angel desperate to escape Pylea. Wes and Gunn join up with the rebel forces, Cordy tries to save Lorne, and Angel has to overcome the demon inside of him. If they're ever going to get back to LA, they're going to have to overcome their individual problems and work together as a team.

Angel Season Three

2007-12-15T18:50:00.000+02:00

Heartthrob
Even as Angel mourns Buffy's death, he must do battle against a vampire he was friends with back in 18'th century Marseilles - and whose girlfriend he has just killed. On a routine patrol, Angel stakes a female vampire. Just before she crumbles to dust she calls him Angelus and he recognizes her from his soulless past. Now, her grief-stricken lover, Angel's old hunting companion, is out for revenge for both the present killing and for a betrayal Angelus committed over 200 years ago.
That Vision Thing
Angel is forced to help Wolfram and Hart free a man being held by the Powers That Be after the law firm hires a demon who can cause Cordelia to experience terrifying visions and pain. When Cordelia’s visions begin to manifest as painful physical wounds, Lorne tries to use telepathy to find out why this is happening to her, and how the visions can be stopped. Meanwhile lawyers from Wolfram & Hart make another visit to Angel’s hotel.
That Old Gang of Mine
Someone is murdering all the demons in LA, even the harmless ones. While Angel and Wes investigate the killings, Gunn begins to suspect that his old vampire hunting friends are behind the attacks. He feels torn between his old gang and his job with Angel Inc. But when the gang attacks Karitos, everyone is in danger.
Carpe Noctem
While investigating some mysterious deaths, Angel switches bodies with a old guy named Marcus. Marcus immediately takes over Angel's life, while Angel is stuck in a retirement home. When Marcus realizes that Angel's body gives him vampire powers, he decides that they only way to keep it is to get rid of Angel once and for all.
Fredless
Fred's parents show up in LA and Team Angel is instantly suspicious of them. They seem a little too... Normal. Fred hiding from her family and has run off. In order to find her again, Team Angel and the Burkles will have to work together. They'll also have to battle some demons and pay a visit to Lorne. And Fred will have to decide where she really belongs now.

Billy
A guy named Billy is infecting men with primal misogynistic impulses. When he touches men, they attack any women that they come across. Lilah is beaten and several other women wind up dead. Cordy and Angel try to track Billy down. But, when Billy's blood infects Wes and Gunn, it might be too late for Fred. And when Billy touches Angel, Cordelia could be in trouble, too.
Offspring
Darla comes back to LA, bringing Angel news of their baby. As Team Angel tries to find out how a vampire pregnancy is even possible, Angel must deal with his growing feelings for Cordy and his new fears about what sort of "child" Darla might be carrying. Meanwhile, one of Angel's old enemies arrives in LA looking for vengeance.
Quickening
Team Angel continues to try and deal with Darla's pregnancy. When Wolfram and Hart finds out about the baby, the law firm decides to steal it for themselves. Meanwhile, Holtz is determined to kill Angel and arrives at the Hyperion looking for revenge. Angel must do everything in his power to protect Darla and their unborn child when Wolfram & Hart launches a full-scale attack to take mother and baby. To make matters worse, the gang is also threatened by a vampire cult who believe the baby is The Miracle Child.
Lullaby
As Darla goes into labor, Team Angel tries to help her deliver the baby. Unfortunately, there are some unforeseen problems. Angel is captured by Holtz, who learns that Angel now has a soul. In the end, it's up to Darla to bring Angel's son into the world, no matter what the cost. With Darla's contractions getting closer together, the Angel Investigations gang is surprised when she flies into a frenzy and runs away from them. Now Angel must track her down in time to safely deliver their baby. However, their old nemesis -- the vampire hunter, Holtz -- is now in present day L.A., and after hundreds of years he is finally closing in on his quarry.
Dad
With the birth of Angel's son, the gang returns to the Hyperion to regroup. There are countless demons, humans and lawyers after the baby now, and Angel is scared to let the kid out of his sight. Team Angel will have to help him keep Conner safe and defeat the baby's enemies. Meanwhile, Holtz finds an ally, a vengeful woman named Justine.

Birthday
It's Cordy's birthday and a particularly intense vision knocks her out of her body. As Team Angel tries to help her, Cordy is stuck in an astral plane unable to communicate. When a guide shows up and offers Cordy a deal, she has to choose between getting everything she thought she wanted and her life with Angel.
Provider
With his new son to consider, Angel begins worrying about paying the bills. His pursuit of money worries Cordelia, who is concerned that Angel will forget his mission to help the helpless. As Team Angel is spread thin, covering as many paying cases as possible, several members are put in harms way. Unprepared for the flood of business brought in by advertising, the Angel Investigations crew splits up to cover more ground -- and ends up being spread too thin for its own good. Fred is offered big bucks to solve a demonic puzzle; Angel takes a job from a high-paying businessman; and Gunn and Wesley protect a woman whose zombie ex-boyfriend is stalking her.
Waiting in the Wings
When a famous dance troupe comes to LA, Angel is thrilled. He drags Gunn, Fred, Cordy and Wes along for a night of ballet. Unfortunately, supernatural forces are afoot at the theater. Meanwhile, Angel is scared to admit his real feelings for Cordy. Wes & Gunn both continue to fall for Fred and she finally kisses one of them.
Couplet
Wesley is depressed as Fred & Gunn grow closer and Gru's arrival irritates Angel. Angel is jealous when Gru and Cordy search for a way to be together without endangering her visions. Meanwhile, Wes focuses on translating a scroll about Conner and he's soon horrified by what it suggests.
Loyalty
After translating the prophesy, Wesley is terrified. It says, "The father will kill the son," meaning Angel will kill Conner. Meanwhile, Gunn and Fred investigate a vampire nest, while Holtz amps up his plans for vengeance. Wes tries to disprove the prophesy, but all signs seem to point to disaster.
Sleep Tight
As Wesley struggles to come to terms with the prophesy, Angel's behavior grows more and more erratic. The crew at Angel Inc. is concerned as Angel's moods swing from giddy to furious with no provocation. While Holtz, Lilah and Shajhan continue to plot vengeance against Angel, Wes takes drastic steps to keep Conner safe.
Forgiving
With Conner trapped in a hell dimension, Angel is willing to do anything to rescue him... Even make a deal with Wolfram and Hart. Meanwhile, Fred and Gunn search for Wes, who is gravely wounded. As Angel tries to save Conner, he learns some terrible new information about the prophesy.

Double or Nothing
As Angel grieves for Conner, Cordelia returns to LA and tries to comfort him. Meanwhile, Gunn is falling in love with Fred. But, he has to deal with a mistake that he made back when he was a vampire street fighter and it could ruin their happy future. Wes, abandoned by his friends and banned from the Hyperion, leaves the hospital by himself.
The Price
After preforming dark magics back in "Forgiving," Angel knew there'd be a price and this is it. The Hyperion is being invaded by little slugs that dehydrate anyone the infect. As Team Angel tries to fight them off and save one of their own, they learn that something called the "Destroyer" is on its way. When a client suddenly begins acting erratically, Angel and company discover that he has been infected by a strange, slug-like creature which takes over bodies and eventually kills the host. These creatures have infested the Hyperion, and the gang must find a way to destroy them before any more people are hurt.
A New World
Angel is stunned as Conner falls through the portal from the hell dimension. His son is now a teenager and, thanks to Holtz, he hates Angel. While Angel tries to get through to Conner, Lilah shows up at Wesley's apartment with an interesting proposition... Angel's son Connor is brought back from the Hell dimension a feral teenage warrior, and is hellbent on vengeance against his father for Angel's bloody past. When he fails, the confused teen escapes to the mean streets of L.A. Determined to set things straight, Angel searches for his son, who in the interim befriends a troubled but kind homeless girl. Meanwhile, the dimensional rift through which the young man traveled continues to cause trouble at the hotel.
Benediction
With Holtz back in LA, Angel Inc. is in for some problems. As Angel tries to bond with his son, Holtz reconnects with Justine. The two vampire hunters cook up a plan to turn Conner against Angel forever. Meanwhile, Wes & Lilah spend more time together and Cordy & Gru grow further apart. Angel and Connor successfully engage in some much-needed father-son bonding when they find themselves fighting side-by-side. Then foster-father Holtz stirs things up by suggesting Connor should leave him to live with Angel. Meanwhile, Lilah continues to work on recruiting Wesley for the bad guys; and Cordelia's closeness with Angel causes a rift in her relationship with Groosalugg.
Tomorrow
In the season finale, Conner plots revenge against Angel. He blames Angel for Holtz death and comes up with a plan to make his father pay. Meanwhile, Cordy realizes that she has feelings for Angel and Wes & Lilah make love for the first time. Angel tries to make Connor feel at home in the Hyperion, but Justine tries to convince him that Angel is guilty of murdering Holtz. Meanwhile, Cordelia seems to be the only person who does not realize that she has fallen in love with Angel. When the light finally dawns, she decides that she must find a way to tell him.

Angel Season Four

2007-12-15T18:45:00.000+02:00

Deep Down
Season four begins with Angel stuck at the bottom of the sea. Fred and Gunn search for him, unaware that Conner is the one behind his disappearance. Cordy is now Higher Power and no one is sure where she went, either. It's Wes who begins to piece together what happened to his estranged friends and comes up with a plan to save Angel.
Ground State
Angel is desperate to find Cordy, unaware that she's become a Higher Power. Angel also wants to mend fences with Wes, who remains bitter. Still, Wesley points Angel on the track of magical arch thing that can help locate Cordelia. Unfortunately, someone else is about to steal it right out from under them.
The House Always Wins
Angel, Gunn and Fred head to Las Vegas to see Lorne only to find that he is being forced to steal people's destinies. Once Angel's is stolen, only Cordelia can help. Meanwhile a friend unexpectedly shows up at the hotel. Angel, Fred and Gunn take a road trip to Las Vegas to enlist Lorne's help in finding Cordelia, but when the get there Lorne doesn't even acknowledge their presence. It soon becomes clear that Lorne is being held against his will, and that his popular casino act is actually a way for his captor to read the futures of people in the crowd. Angel and the gang must find a way to help Lorne escape without sacrificing their own destinies in the process.
Slouching Toward Bethlehem
Cordy returns from being a Higher Power and Team Angel is thrilled to see her. Unfortunately, she has amnesia and can't remember anything about her life or the monsters that she deals with on a daily basis. Meanwhile, Wolfram & Hart learns that she's back among the corporeal and decides to see what she might know about life on the Higher Plane.

Supersymmetry
When Fred writes a physics paper, she's invited to her old college as a guest lecturer. Angel, Gunn and Wes show up to support her as she speaks in front of all her former professors. But when a portal opens up over Fred's head, it becomes clear that something supernatural is happening to her... Again.
Spin the Bottle
In an attempt to restore Cordelia's memory, Lorne accidentally reverses everyone's memory to making them think they are 17 and on a vampire chase. When they find out Angel is a vampire, everyone sets out to get him. As Cordelia's memory is revived, a demon inside her is awakened.
Apocalypse, Nowish
Plagues of rats, earthquakes and a string of strange events lead Angel and the gang to one realization: the apocalypse has come at last. Meanwhile, Connor and Cordelia encounter The Beast, who has come to Los Angeles on the verge of Armageddon to help bring about the end of the world. Cordelia’s fragmented memories from the higher plane tell her that a horrific beast is coming, and that it will bring about the end of the world. With no other options open to him, Angel must enter a most unusual alliance... with Wolfram & Hart. Meanwhile, Fred and Gunn begin to question their relationship while Cordy and Connor team up to find the Beast.
Habeas Corpses
After The Beast arrives at Wolfram & Hart, Angel and the gang must break in to rescue Connor from another, creepier force. Meanwhile, Wesley comes to an important decision regarding his relationship with Lilah, Cordelia and Connor try to resolve what they've done together, and Fred is torn between trusting Wesley and reconnecting with Gunn.
Long Day's Journey
The Beast continues its rampage through LA. While Team Angel tries to figure out what its next move might be, Gwen arrives at the Hyperion looking for help. One of her clients has been killed by the Beast and she doesn't know why. As they investigate, Team Angel realizes that the Beast's plan could mean disaster for everyone.
Awakening
After realizing that Angelus might have some information on the Beast, Team Angel reluctantly decides to remove Angel's soul. Wes brings in a mystic who can extract Angel's soul and then return it safely to his body after Angelus gives them the information they need. But, as the mystic starts the soul-removing ceremony, it seems like there might be some surprises.

Soulless
After Team Angel succeeds in removing Angel's soul, they have two new problems to confront. First of all, they have to get Angelus to tell them everything he knows about the Beast. And secondly, they have to keep him from turning Team Angel against each other. As Angelus starts exploiting all of Angel's memories about his friends, though, it becomes clear that he's has a lot more power than it seems.
Calvary
With Angel's soul stolen from the hotel safe, Team Angel is worried. They have no idea how to get Angel back again before it's too late. When Cordy comes up with a spell that might work, the others agree that it's their best hope. Meanwhile, Lilah shows up at the hotel, looking for some allies in her quest to destroy the Beast.
Salvage
After releasing Faith from prison, Wesley takes her to Los Angeles hoping she will be able to trap Angelus. Faith finds Angelus and The Beast. Faith fights and kills The Beast, bringing sunlight back to Los Angeles. After Angelus apparently kills Lilah, Wesley realizes that they will need help finding and stopping him. After he makes sure that Lilah will not rise as a vampire, the former Watcher goes in search of a powerful ally.
Release
Faith & Wesley continue to try and find Angelus. They want to capture him so they return Angel's soul. Meanwhile, Evil Cordy wants to bring Angelus over to her side of the apocalypse. Unfortunately for all of them, Angelus has some plans of his own. As he fights with Wes & Faith, he quickly gains the upper hand...
Orpheus
Fred calls Willow to re-en soul Angel. She encounters unexpected resistance from a mysterious source. Faith's strategy to capture Angelus has an unexpected side affect. She enters Angel's mind and witnesses some of his past. Faith has tricked Angelus into feeding on her, thus imbibing a powerful narcotic along with her blood. Now both of them lay near death, observing the turmoil that is Angel's conscience as they fight against the mystical drug. Meanwhile, the gang brings an old friend from Sunnydale to help with the search for Angel's lost soul.
Players
Team Angel is stunned to discover that Cordy is pregnant. She insists that her baby will be a blessing, but its rapid growth is worrying the others and they come up with a plan. Meanwhile, Gwen comes to the Hyperion for help on a case and teams up with Gunn. After discovering that Cordelia is pregnant, the gang research what type of demon the offspring could be. Meanwhile, Gunn helps Gwen rescue a girl named Lisa from a posh house party, but realises that he has been tricked when L.I.S.A. turns out to be Gwen's latest stolen item.

Inside Out
Team Angel finally realizes that Cordelia's body has been taken over by some sort of demon. Before they can get any answers though, Conner arrives and drags Evil Cordy to safety. Frustrated and angry, Angel goes to question Skip, the demon who took Cordy to the Higher Plane. Meanwhile, Evil Cordy tells Conner that the baby must be born... NOW.
Shiny Happy People
When the demon Cordelia gives birth to turns out to be a saintly, beautiful woman, all who lay eyes on her become entranced by her spell. With Cordelia in a coma, Angel and the gang help the new, unnamed prophet create the perfect Utopian L.A. But as every spell is a deception, even the most peaceful and reasonable ideals may conceal the darkest of secrets.
The Magic Bullet
Mysteriously free of Jasmine's spell, Fred must take refuge with dubious allies as Angel and the gang hunt her down. Jasmine's powers expand as the citizens of L.A. begin to develop a psychic connection which could potentially pave the way for collective consciousness. Using this new power to find Fred, she hides outside the city, desperately trying to find the cure for Jasmine's "love".
Sacrifice
Team Angel continues to fight against Jasmine's growing power. After escaping the Hyperion, they find themselves hiding in the sewers and trying to come up with a plan. Meanwhile, Conner continues to serve Jasmine, even after she has Cordy moved to an undisclosed location. When Wes finds out a few of Jasmine's secrets and she closes in on them, Team Angel has to split up so at least one of them will survive
Peace Out
Angel arrives in Jasmine's old dimension, looking for a way to break her spell. Back on Earth, Team Angel is locked up in the Hyperion as Jasmine prepares to brainwash the world through a global media event. Conner goes searching for Cordelia. Angel must fight through a gauntlet of foes to discover the one thing that can nullify Jasmine's power. Meanwhile, back in L.A., Connor searches for Cordelia, Jasmine prepares to take her influence to a global level, and the gang receives a very unexpected visitor.
Home
Lilah returns from Hell to offer Angel Inv. the L.A. branch of Wolfram and Hart. They are given the option of going to see what it has to offer, which all of them decide to take. When on their tours, Fred is offered the Science Department. Gunn is taken to the White Room to see who replaced the Girl. Wesley is offered books with infinite knowledge, and Lorne is offered the Entertainment Department. If they accept, Angel would be the head honcho. In the end, Angel will accept, but only under one condition.

Angel Season Five

2007-12-15T18:40:00.000+02:00

Conviction
Angel and the gang adjust to life at Wolfram & Hart, while Angel lets loose the shocking contents of a package from Sunnydale. Angel and the group are still getting used to their ownership of Wolfram & Hart when one of their clients threatens to kill all of L.A. if they cannot get him acquitted in court. Meanwhile, the Senior Partners' liaison, Eve, introduces herself, Harmony becomes Angel's secretary, the Senior Partners grant Gunn new talents, and a mysterious envelope has been delivered.
Just Rewards
Team Angel is shocked when Spike appears out of an amulet that someone sent to Angel. Spike was suppose to have died back in Sunnydale, but now he's returned as a ghost. And he's really unhappy about it. Angel has to deal with an evil necromancer and with Spike, who might just be willing to turn on Team Angel if it'll make him corporeal again.
Unleashed
Angel saves a woman from a werewolf attack, but not before the woman was bitten. Now she will become a werewolf. As Team Angel tries to help her cope with her new situation, someone else would like to have Werewolf for dinner. Angel helps a newly infected Werewolf named Nina, who is being hunted by a mysterious and wealthy organization. Nina is offered shelter at Wolfram & Hart, but when it turns out that the hunters have a mole in the company, Nina's sanctuary may become a trap.
Hell Bound
Fred faces technical and budgetary setbacks in her project to make Spike corporeal. Meanwhile, Spike is beset by grisly apparitions that only he can see. After a series of horrific visions, Spike realizes that he is being pulled away from the material world and into hell. Fred tries frantically to find a way to save him, but soon realizes that there is an outside force that is causing Spike's dimensional shifts. An entity residing in Wolfram & Hart itself.
Life of the Party
When Lorne gets his sleep removed to prepare for the firm's Halloween Party, he doesn't realize the consequences. At the party, everyone has do what he tells them to do, but mystically. In the end, Spike is thinking positively, Gunn is "marking his territory", Angel and Eve get a room, and Wes and Fred are drunk. They all have to get Lorne to sleep before...well, watch the episode.

The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco
It turns out that the Wolfram & Hart mail guy is more than he seems. He and his brothers were once demon fighters. But, when he lost his family in battle, he gave up on being a Champion. When one of his old foes comes to town, though, he has to help Team Angel defeat it. Angel discovers the only remaining member of five ancient evil fighters working in Wolfram & Hart, while researching an Aztec warrior named Tezcatcatl. We are shown this man's life through a series of flashbacks which tell the tale of 'The Luchadors', a family of Mexican wrestlers which helped the helpless until one day they were slain by Tezcatcatl. In the present day, Angel tries to help the last member discover the hero inside which he lost when his family were killed.
Lineage
Wesley's father comes for a visit. Cyborg assassins attack the offices of Wolfram and Hart for a magical device that will give them control of Angel. Wesley is surprised by the arrival of his estranged father, who has come to evaluate Wesley for possible reacceptance to the Watcher's Council.
Destiny
Spike receives a mysterious box of "flashy" in the mail and is shocked when it somehow recorporealizes him. He's thrilled to be solid again, but when odd things start happening at Wolfram & Hart, Eve says that they now have a problem. With Spike an un-ghosted Vampire Champion, the Shanshu Prophesy could also apply to him. Spike & Angel have to try and figure out which one of them is destined to become human again.
Harm's Way
Harmony is having trouble adjusting to working for Angel. The other employees of Wolfram & Hart ignore her and she's feeling depressed about her life. After a night out with Fred, though, Harm's troubles are about to get a lot more serious.
Soul Purpose
Lindsey and Eve continue to plot against Team Angel. Lindsey approaches Spike, telling him that the Powers That Be have selected Spike to be the new Champion now that Angel is working for Wolfram & Hart. Meanwhile, Angel is caught in a series of hallucinations and can't wake up.
Damage
A psychotic vampire slayer has escaped from her asylum, and is now on the loose in Los Angeles. Angel and Spike are on the hunt for her, before she does more damage. Once she is found, looking for pieces of her past, she believes that Spike was the man who drove her towards insanity, and wants to seek revenge.

You're Welcome
In the 100th episode, Cordelia awakens from her magically induced coma and returns to help Angel fight an old enemy who has reappeared even more powerful than ever. Cordelia wakes up from her coma and is shocked and unhappy to discover that Angel and the gang are no longer fighting Wolfram & Hart, they're running it. When she realizes that Angel has lost his conviction to be a hero, she gives him the information and support he needs to get back on track. Meanwhile, while Angel has security keeping an eye on Eve, her partner "Doyle" prepares to bring about Angel's demise.
Why We Fight
Angel's past comes to haunt him. An ally from World War II takes Fred, Gunn, and Wes hostage while seeking Angel. This is the only vampire Angel sired after he got his soul back. Angel relives the past and must determine his future. Lawson, a mysterious man from Angel's past, arrives at Wolfram & Hart and takes the gang hostage. Through flashbacks to World War II, it is revealed that Angel worked with the U.S. Navy to recover a captured German submarine with American sailors on board. The ship also has a secret cargo, a dangerous trio of vampires, including Spike, who were kidnapped by the Germans and forced to help the Nazis. When the sub comes under attack, Angel saves Lawson's life by turning him into a vampire. Now, sixty years later, Lawson has arrived at Wolfram & Hart seeking revenge.
Smile Time
Angel and the gang set out to foil an evil puppet show that is sucking the brain power of all the children who watch. During their fight, Angel is turned into a puppet himself and must rely upon his friends in order to reverse the spell which holds him at one foot tall.
A Hole in the World
When an ancient sarcophagus arrives in the laboratory at Wolfram & Hart, Fred opens a small compartment and is infected by an ancient disease that slowly begins to kill her. As Angel and Spike travel across the world in order to help her, Wesley slowly begins to realize that there may be no stopping this disease.
Shells
As Angel and the gang try desperately to bring Fred back, Wesley begins to understand that the ancient demon Illyria, now fused with Fred's body, is here to stay. Exhausting all options for saving Fred, the gang switches gears to stop Illyria and her plan for global domination.
Underneath
Angel, Spike and Gunn travel to a surprisingly unusual hell dimension to free Lindsey and find out what he knows of the Senior Partners' ultimate plans. With Illyria's army defunct and her plans averted, the gang accepts her as a dubious ally. Wesley, volunteering to be her guide and mentor, falls slowly into depression and self-destruction. Meanwhile, the Senior Partners send a new, unstoppable force, a new liaison and businessman, named Marcus Hamilton, to find Eve, and Gunn makes an important decision in an attempt to protect his friends... and save his soul.

Origin
Parents bring their son to Wolfram and Hart to try to make sense of their son's superhuman abilities. Team Angel wants their assistance, but Angel refuses, because it's his son Connor. A demon is after Connor, but without his memories of his old life, he doesn't have much of a chance against the demon. True memories are revealed for Connor and a member of Team Angel
Time Bomb
Illyria begins acting more strangely than usual. After she rescues Gunn from the suburban hell dimension, she begins displaying more power. After a hint from Hamilton, Wesley discovers that Fred's body is insufficient to contain Illyria's power, and she is about to explode. Meanwhile, Angel discovers that she is unintentionally leapfrogging through time, and uses it as possibly the only way to stop her. Also, Gunn begins to have suspicions about Angel being corrupted when he allows a demonic brethren to accept a pregnant young woman's baby as an upcoming sacrificial item.
The Girl in Question
Angel and Spike's mission to help resurrect a demon gang leader in Italy is made more complicated when they learn that their former love, Buffy, might be in danger. Meanwhile, when the Burkles make a surprise visit to Wolfram & Hart, Illyria solves the problem by showing Wesley a frightening talent- a talent that challenges his own moral standing.
Power Play
The Team have reason to believe that Angel has been utterly corrupted with power when they find evidence that he has joined the Circle of the Black Thorn, the most evil of secret societies. Wesley, Gunn, Spike, and even Illyria discover some surprises when they urge Angel to side with the forces of Good again.
Not Fade Away
In the series finale, Angel reveals that his questionable moral behavior has been part of a bigger plan: to destroy The Circle of the Black Thorn and show the Senior Partners that the power of good can still make a difference. Wesley struggles with helping Illyria adapt to the world, scolding her for her attempts to take on Fred's form. As Gunn continues his quest of self-discovery, Lorne becomes more aware of the lack of happiness in the world. Harmony attempts to seduce Marcus Hamilton for information, Lindsey makes an important decision regarding his alliance, and Eve continues to deal with being mortal. As Spike comes closer to understanding the nature of heroism, Angel pays a visit to the one person he truly loves. On Angel's bidding, the gang goes out and spends each day as if it were their last...

Quotes Of Angel

2007-12-15T18:35:00.000+02:00

Cordelia: I didn't know you were in L.A.; are you living here?
Angel: Yeah... You?
Cordelia: Malibu. A small condo on a beach. It's not a private beach, but, you know, I'm young, so I forbear.
Tina: Well, it was nice threatening you.
Doyle: You know, there's a lot of people in this city need helping.
Angel: So I noticed.
Doyle: You game?
Angel: I'm game.
Tina: I came here to be a famous movie star. But, they weren't hiring.
Angel: Okay, you've told me the story of my life which, since I was there, I already knew... Why aren't I kicking you out?
Angel: I don’t get a lot of visitors.
Tina: (looks at the weapons hanging on the walls) At least not ones you like.
Angel: I have relationship issues, too.

Doyle: Say you wouldn’t have a beer of any kind in here, would you?
Angel: No.
Doyle: Come on, you must have something besides pig’s blood!
Cordelia: I thought I was going to faint while barfing.
Angel: You want to charge people?
Cordelia: Well not everybody, but sooner or later we are going to have to help some rich people, right?
Cordelia: I was just saying that if we're going to be helping people out, maybe a small charge. A fee. You know, something to help pay the rent. And... my salary. You need someone to organize things and you're not exactly rolling in it Mr. "I-Was-Alive-for-200-Years and Never-Developed-an-Investment-Portfolio."
Doyle: What happened to Russell?
Angel: He went into the light.
Doyle: Well, listen, best of luck to ya man. I've got some fairly large coin riding on the Vikings tonight, but I'll be there with you in spirit, yeah?
Angel: You're driving.
Doyle: Wait a minute! No, no! I'm not combat ready, man. I'm just the messenger!
Angel: And I'm the message.
Cordelia: I am somebody. I matter. People will be attracted to my positive energy and help me achieve my goals. I'm right where I'm supposed to be and not dying for something to eat!
Goon: You get in his way, he'll kill you. He'll kill everyone you care about.
Angel: There's no one left I care about.
Tina: I guess this is the part where you "comfort" me. Not that you didn't earn it.
Angel: No, this is the part where you have a safe place to stay until we figure things out.
Tina: You mean you don't want to...
Angel: You have enough people trying to take advantage of you right now.
(Angel has a gun on a hired goon)
Stacy: You know, I don't think you're going to use that thing.
(Angel punches him and knocks him out)
Angel: Good call.
Cordelia: Well, I better get mingly. I really should be talking to people that are somebody. But it was fun!
Angel: It's nice that she's grown as a person.
Angel: Why me?
Doyle: Because you've got potential, and the balance sheet ain't exactly in your favor yet.
Angel: Then why you?
Doyle: We all got something to atone for.
Doyle: But he's cut off, from everything. From the people he's trying to help.
Angel: I still save 'em. Who cares if I don't stop to chat?
Oliver: You're an actor.
Angel: No.
Oliver: That wasn't a question. I'm Oliver. Ask anyone about Oliver. They'll tell you I'm a fierce animal. I'm your manager as soon as you call.
Angel: I'm not an actor.
Oliver: Funny. I like the humor. I like the whole thing. Call me. This isn't a come on. I'm in a very serious relationship with a landscape architect.
Doyle: I've been sent. By the Powers That Be.
Angel: Powers that be what?
Angel: Have you guys seen my car? It's big... and uh... shiny.
Vampire: (grabs Angel) Piss off, pal.
Angel: (smells the vampire's breath) Ugh..breath mint?
Cordelia: A cockroach! In the corner! I think it's a bantamweight!
Angel: Why would a woman I don't know want to talk to me?
Doyle: Have you looked in a mirror lately? Well, no, I guess you haven't.
Russell: Look at me. I pay my taxes, I keep my name out of the paper, and I don't make waves. In return I can do anything I want.
Angel: Really? Can you fly? (throws Russell out of skyscraper. He catches fire and turns to dust.)
Angel: Hmm. Guess not.
Angel: (making tea) Do you take milk and sugar?
Tina: Yeah.
Angel: ...because I don't have those things.
Angel: So are you, uh, happy?
Tina: What?

Wesley: Angel, are you certain about this? A burial isn't necessary for a newly made vampire.
Angel: It would be for Drusilla. She's a classicist.
Cordelia: She's a loony.
Angel: Forget mausoleums. Stick with cemeteries, something with a view of the night sky.
Cordelia: So, just outside cemeteries, then?
Drusilla: You have beautiful skin.
Lilah: I moisturize.
Drusilla: That was very thoughtful of you.
Drusilla: Oh. I'm ringing. - Do you hear it? I'm ringing - all - over! (Darla grabs the phone) Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.
Lindsey: Can she hear you?
Drusilla: She's dead
Angel: We've got to find Darla.
(Angel looks in cabinet)
Gunn: She probably ain't in there.
Lilah: For God's sake help us.
Holland: Angel, please. People are going to die.
Angel: And yet, somehow, I just can't seem to care. (Angel closes the wine cellar doors.)
Drusilla: It's not daddy. It's never daddy. Sss! It's the Angel-beast.
Darla: Come to punish us?
Drusilla: Yeah. Yeah. Spank us till Tuesday. Rrr! We promise to be bad if you do.
Angel: I can crush the life out of you before they lift a finger.
Holland: I'm sure you can, just as sure as I am that you won't.
Angel: Won't I?
Holland: You don't kill humans.
Angel: You don't qualify.
Wesley: And you - just walked away?
Angel: No, I walked to my car and then I drove away.
Wesley: The three of us are the only things standing between you and real darkness.
Gunn: You best believe that, man.
Angel: I do... you're all fired.
Wesley: (Darla's) dead already, and come nightfall she will rise again.
Angel: (pulling out a stake) No she won't, I can save her from that.
Darla: Dru, honey, in our new digs, we have to put in a people cellar.
Angel: You set things in motion, play your little games up here in your glass and chrome tower, and people die, innocent people.
Holland: And yet, I just can't seem to care.
Angel: I'd be careful who you offer your hand to, Mr. Manners. You might just lose it. Isn't that right, Lindsey?
Lorne: Hey Angel, I think Connor needs some papa love.
Angel: He needs a lot of things. All day, every day.
Lorne: Yeah thats kinda how kids... (Angel interrupts)
Angel: Connor needs a bath, Connor needs a bottle. What Connor needs is to grow up.
Lorne: Something wrong?
Angel: Gosh, no Lorne everything's just great. I got a kid that cries, pees, moans and never gives me a moment to myself.
(Connor starts crying)
Lorne: Oh, it's all right.
Angel: It's really not. Connor shut up!
Fred: Don't yell at him. He's just a baby.
Angel: He keeps it up, he's not gonna be a baby for long. (throws glass of blood)
(Angel passes Connor to Wesley)
Angel: Take him. Yeah, it's alright, it's your Uncle Wes. He loves you bunches. He's just... English.
Lilah: How'd you find me?
Angel: Your assistant.
Lilah: I'll have his arms broken.
Angel: Already taken care of.
Holtz: (to Angel, about Connor) He'll be dead before I hit the ground.
Angel: I know.
Angel: (to armed Wolfram & Hart men) Your bullets won't kill me, but mine will kill you.
Angel: Yeah and you look like hell. Not the fun one where they burn you with hot pokers for all eternity...but the hard-core one...you know, Nixon and Britney Spears?
Angel: You know, Lilah--there are so many things I could do to you. With transfusions I could keep you alive indefinitely. I do have some expertise in this area.
Justine: What you're about to do to your friend. I imagine it's easier to hate Holtz than yourself.
Wesley: There's enough to go around for both him and me.

Wesley: We need you.
Faith: Well... Hate to wet the paper for you Wes, but I'm kind of unavailable right now. Maybe you wanna check back in a few decades when my parole comes up! (edit)
Connor: Magic again. You people rely way to much on that junk.
Wesley: We use whatever tools we have.
Connor: Yeah, only it never really works the way it's supposed to. (edit)
Wesley: Do you really think that's what I was thinking?
Imaginary Lilah: Honey, I'm not even here. I'm just a figment of your devilishly handsome brain. So, obviously, it's what you were thinking. (edit)
(After the beast is killed)
Angelus: Ahh...crap. You mean killing the beast really brings back the sun? I thought that was Angel's retarded fantasy. (edit)
Angelus: And I don't like being kept in the dark...well, figuratively anyway (edit)
Angelus: And if you're boss was half as smart as he thinks he is, he knows I won't take orders from a lackey.
Beast: (growls)
Angelus: You don't like lackey? How about uh; toady? or lickspittle? Ahh, lickspittle's nice. Oh wait, I got it, flunky! That's it! You're just a big, stupid, but ugly, slow moving, flunky! (edit)
Faith: Hey, nobody make a move, until I...
(Vampire that looks a lot like Angelus jumps at Conner, he decapitates him)
Faith: (pushing Conner against a wall) Are you deficient? (edit)
Angelus: Smile, Faith, thought you'd enjoy a threesome! (edit)
Faith: (after Wesley's test) It's like riding a biker. (edit)
(Some members of the fang gang spot Angelus feeding on Lilah)
Angelus: Ah, guys. It's not what it looks like. (Looks down at Lilah and then back up) She was kinda tarty anyway. Know what I mean, Wes? (edit)
Cordy: Faith! What the hell is she doing here?
Faith: Nice to see you too, Cor.
Wes: She's here to help.
Cordy: Oh gee, uh, that's great oh, wait a sec, wasn't she convicted of murder and sent to a state correctional facility for like a gazillion years?
Faith: Murder 2, 25 years to life. For the record.
Cordy: So now you brought psycho Slayer out of retirement to kill Angelus? (edit)
Faith: Are you a murderer? Cause I am. (edit)
Lorne: We followed the recipe. Should be cake. (edit)
Connor: How long does it take to chop off Lilah's head? (edit)
Prison Guard: (to Faith) Hey, caught us by suprise. I mean, who'd be crazy enough to try to take you out? (edit)
Faith: Can I ask, what the hell have you people been doing? (edit)
Wes:..I've changed my mind.
Connor:Change it back! (edit)
Cordelia: A weakness for Slayers. You really are his son. (edit)
Lilah: That body's not going to dismember itself, you know. (edit)
Demon: (to Angelus) Whoa! You're him. Talking to me. Not usually impressed by vampires, but this is such an honor. Hey, could you sign a little something to my hellspawn? Make it out to Ashley. (edit)
Angelus: That's right, brothers and sisters - the rumors are true. Angel has left the building and I am back. But hey, I'm no different from the next guy. I put my victim's skin on one leg at a time. (edit)
Cordelia: Isn't she supposed to be in prison for like, a gazillion years? (edit)
Connor: I know what I have to do! Angel told me if anything happened to kill him.
Lorne: Oh! Now you listen to him! (edit)
Faith: Are you ok?
Wesley: Five by five! (edit)
Angelus: Hi Dawn! Yeah, it's me! Is your Sister home? She is...
(hangs up the phone)
Angelus: (to himself) Pfew, it's the other one. (edit)
Angelus: Smile Faith, thought you'd enjoy a threesome.

Lindsey: You know, all my carefully laid out plans, my designs...when you get right down to it, this is pretty sweet, too, huh? Reason enough for me to come back. You, me, fight to the death. (points his sword at Angel) Yours. (edit)
Harmony: I can't believe you're here!
Cordelia: Likewise. Especially since the last time I saw you, you tried to kill me.
Angel: Um, Harmony, she's actually, she... she's my secretary.
Cordelia: Oh. Well, things just keep getting better and better.
Harmony: I know! You and me together again. So, how was the coma? (edit)
Cordelia:(to Spike) Heard you weren’t evil anymore, which kinda makes the hair silly.
(Vamps Out)
Cordelia: Uh, or nice. (edit)
Cordelia: Oh, my God. Gunn? You have hair.
Gunn: Oh. Heh! Yeah. What’d you think, I was prematurely bald?
Silence
Gunn: I wasn’t. (edit)
Cordelia:(to Angel referring to her roommate) That chick’s in rough shape. You’d think they’d give Miss One-foot-in-the-grave a private room. Which brings me to-- Hey! Couldn’t you stick me someplace that smells a little less like ammonia-soaked death? (edit)
Cordelia: (to Angel) You sold your soul to the Devil!
Angel: I did not!
(Izzy, a Devil look-alike, walks by)
Izzy: (to Angel) Are we still on for racquetball tomorrow? (edit)
Spike: (to zombies) Why so down? We're all dead men here. (edit)
Cordelia: Doyle pissed me off so righteously going out like that. But he knew. He knew what he had to do, didn't compromise. Gave his last breath to make sure you'd keep fighting. I get that now. (edit)
Angel: The thing that really pisses me off is this guy seems to be going by the name of Doyle.
Eve: Doesn't ring a bell.
Cordelia: Well it does to me! It rings a big frickin' gong! And I wanna know who has the nerve to be using that name. (edit)
Angel: All those tattoos, all those new tricks you've learned... just don't matter. Doesn't matter what you try. Doesn't matter where I am or how badass you think you've become. 'Cause you know what? I'm Angel. I beat the bad guys. (edit)
Angel: I remember when we first met. You put on a show. Told how I couldn't touch your client.
Lindsey: Then you pushed him out of a window. (edit)
Cordelia: (turns to face Angel) I can't stay. This isn't me anymore. You can say good-bye to the gang for me, explain everything once you understand.
Angel: That's gonna be never. (walks toward her) I need you here.
Cordelia: (with tears in her eyes) Don't make it hard, Angel. I'm just on a different road...and this is my off-ramp. The Powers That Be owed me one, and I didn't waste it. I got my guy back on track.
Angel: Cordy, there's just—
Cordelia: (touches his face) We take what we can get, champ, and we do our best with it. I'll be seeing you. (smiles through her tears, turns to walk out of the office, stops, turns around, walks quickly up to Angel) Oh, what the hell. One for the road?
(kisses Angel, but moments later, the telephone rings)
Angel: You know, um...I don't...I don't need to get that.
Cordelia: (tenderly straightens his tie) That you have to get. (Angel walks toward the phone) Oh...and you're welcome. (edit)
Eve: You really think you have any control over my comings and goings? Well...you did have a way with my comings at the halloween party.
Cordelia: Oh, so you two are groin buddies? And I thought Darla was rock bottom. (edit)
Cordy: I naturally assumed you'd be lost with me, but this?
Angel: I am lost without you.
Cordy: You just forgot who you are.
Angel: Remind me. (edit)
Cordy: (about Lindsey's dissapearing tattoos) Sweetie, your epidermis is showing. (edit)
Codelia: Oh...and you're welcome.
Angel: (answers the phone)
Hello. Yes, I know. She's...but that's impossible. She's standing right—
(turns to look for Cordelia, but she's not there, he becomes visibly upset)
I'm sorry. Yeah.
(choking up)
When did she die? Did she, um...she never did wake up? I see.
(hangs up, looks out to where Cordelia was standing moments earlier)
Thank you. (edit)
Cordelia: Okay, this is getting us nowhere. Angel, torture her.
Angel: (confused) What?
Eve: (panicked) What?
Cordelia: You heard me. Building clearing out means we don't have a lot of time. Have at it.
Angel: I can't just... torture her.
Fred: He's right, Cordy. If we sink to their level—
(From out of nowhere, Harmony tackles Eve, knocking her into Angel's desk with a primal grunt.)
Angel: Harmony!
Harmony: (stands up, grabbing Eve by the neck)
(to Angel) Is this Okay? I mean, I am evil, technically. I don't mind torturing her for the team.
Angel: Yeah. Okay. (edit)
Cordelia: And you called this guy the big hero?
Spike: (to Angel) You called me a hero?
Angel: I didn't know you were eating people. (edit)
Angel: He's a Wolfram & Hart client. Our client. Oh, and he's evil. What are the odds? (edit)
Eve: You weren't home upstairs. Didn't think you'd mind me using your private elevator.
Angel: Eve, I mind you breathing. Get out. (edit)
Lorne: Well, I'm thinking sea breeze, compadres. I gave up a lot of blood for this gig.
Harmony: And I didn't get any. I kept begging Eve to run, but... (edit)
Lorne: (to Cordelia) Hey, listen, crumbcake, when you're ready to splash back into that acting pool, just say the word. I'll have you lunching with Colin Farrell like that.
Cordelia: Who's Colin Farrell? (edit)
Angel: Harmony, she's talking.
Harmony: She is? Already? That sucks! (edit)
Lindsey: Redemption? Isn't that your whole deal?
Angel: People don't Change.
(He throws a punch at Lindsey, who catches it and throws Angel across the room. Angel looks back at Lindsey in amazement.)
Lindsey: I Did. (edit)
Spike: She's evil, you gormless tit!
Cordelia: Excuse me? Who bit whom?
Angel: Did you call me a tit?
Cordelia: I thought he had a soul.
Spike: I thought she didn't.
Cordelia: I do.
Spike: So do I.
Cordelia: Well, clearly mine's better. (edit)
Angel: I'm not gonna risk anybody I care about.
Spike: I'll go.
Angel Okay. (edit)
Fred: Oh God.
Wesley: I think God is out at the moment. (edit)
Angel: Harmony, guard Eve. If she moves, eat her.
Harmony: Really? Thanks! (edit)
Lorne: Why can't it ever call for unclean urine? I've got plenty of unclean urine. (sees knife) Look -- I think I'm making some right now. (edit)
Cordelia: Spike's a hero and you're CEO of hell incorporated. What freakin' bizzaro world did I wake up in? (edit)
Angel: (to Eve) Can we have a word with you Eve?
Eve: Now really isn't a good time.
(Cordelia grabs Eve by the ear)
Cordelia: Let's go, Lilah junior

X-Files Season One

2007-12-09T19:47:00.000+02:00

Pilot
A young F.B.I. agent is assigned watchdog duty over a fellow agent, but finds herself drawn into his investigations of paranormal and unexplained phenomena. Special Agent Dana Scully is partnered with Special Agent Fox Mulder to validate his work on a special project called The X-Files. While he is a believer in the paranormal, fuelled by a lost memory where his sister was abducted by aliens; she is a scientist and prefers to look for rational, logical explanations. Their first case takes them to Oregon, to investigate the unsolved deaths of several high school classmates, which Mulder believes are linked to an alien abduction.
Deep Throat
Agents Mulder and Scully investigate the suspicious behaviour of a secret air force base in Idaho, coming into contact with government forces which threaten their careers and safety. Mulder and Scully head to Ellens Air Force Base to investigate the mysterious case of a military test pilot who disappeared after experiencing strange psychotic behavior. While on the case, Mulder meets a mysterious man dubbed 'Deep Throat', who claims to have classified information about his investigations into the paranormal.
Squeeze
Every thirty years, five victims are found with their livers extracted in seemingly inescapable locations. The only possible exit is through tiny spaces no normal man could fit through. It is up to Mulder and Scully to stop him - even if it means one of them becoming dinner...
Conduit
A Sioux City girl, whose mother once encountered a UFO, disappears in the middle of the night. Mulder pulls Scully into the case while an inquiry is made about his choices: does he intend to use this case to further the search for his own abducted sister?
The Jersey Devil
When a body is found in the woods of New Jersey missing a limb, Mulder tracks the case to an old X-File and decides to investigate. Despite the local police department, Mulder and Scully try to find the legendary "Jersey Devil" before it attacks again.

Shadows
Two terrorists are found dead in a back alley of Philadelphia. Their body temperature still remains normal, and their muscles still shake. Mulder and Scully investigate the case in lieu of CIA officials, and uncover a woman with an unfortunate past involving murder.
Ghost in the Machine
The chairman of Eurisko, a computer corporation, is found electrocuted in an executive bathroom. An old partner of Mulder's asks him to help, and they soon track down the computer genius responsible for the main operating system. They must shut it down, but it has other plans...
Ice
Mulder, Scully and 3 scientists travel to the arctic to investigate what happened to the previous team of scientists sent there, and discover what they believe is a new life-form that makes its host want to kill other people.
Space
A Missions Control Comm. Commander from NASA contacts Mulder and Scully. She believes that the spaceships sent out recently have been tampered with, and suspects sabotage. Mulder's childhood hero, Colonel Belt, is in charge of the ships - but could he be the saboteur?
Fallen Angel
An unidentified craft has crashed in the town of Townsend, Wisconsin, causing the government to 'quarantine' the area. With information from Deep Throat, Mulder sets off to investigate by himself. Both him and the military are searching for one thing: The alien pilot who escaped.
Eve
The fathers of two identical girls are found exanguinated in the back yard of their homes. Could these murders be a step-up in the series of accumulating cattle-mutilations in the U.S., or a missing link to a government project known as "The Litchfield Experiments"?
Fire
Three British members of Parliament have caught fire and been incinerated in front of their families. An old friend of Mulder's leads him on to the case, which is as cold as the fire is hot. Can Mulder face his fear of fire, or will he perish in the flames?

Beyond the Sea
Two college students were kidnapped at Jackson University in North Carolina. Luther Lee Bogs, a convict facing the gas chamber in less than a week, claims to be able to contact the souls of the missing students. If Mulder and Scully reduce his sentence, he'll cooperate. Things sound fishy, but soon it seems that he can also communicate with Scully's recently departed father...
Gender Bender
Five murders have been committed involving a strange seductive substance. The victims are found dead and the murderer seemingly changes gender before escaping. The substance leads Mulder and Scully to a Massachusetts Mennonite sect, who may have more information than shows.
Lazarus
A bank robbery ends with a fatal shootout involving the robber and another agent. After he is resuscitated, he reprises his job and life. Yet, the corpse of the robber is missing a wedding ring, and evidence involving the case is disappearing. Two men died, one came back.
Young at Heart
John Barnett, Mulder's first Bureau case and seemingly dead killer, is back in action. Reclaiming his affection for cryptic messages as well as his taunting personality, he leads Mulder and Scully on a chase involving heart, mystery, and science.
E.B.E.
When a trucker hauling automotive parts encounters a UFO, Mulder and Scully are sent spiraling across multiple arrays of evidence. Mulder can't trust his source, nor can he let the government cover up the truth. He learns, along with Scully, what the truck is really holding.
Miracle Man
A Tennessee man's adopted son who has publicly healed many believers on his father, a preacher's, behalf, is recently giving his pupils death. While he believes that the devil has corrupted his gift, the county sheriff calls Mulder and Scully in to prove the boy a murderer.

Shapes
A Montana Native American reserve is the center of attention as Mulder and Scully investigate the strange death of a local Indian man. The shooters claim they saw a monster attack them, and an old legend of lycanthropic nature comes forward.
Darkness Falls
30 loggers in Olympic National Forest of Washington State disappear within a week of their arrival. Due to the disappearance of another logging group in the 1930's, Mulder takes the case and invites Scully along to investigate. What they find certainly shines some light on the subject, in a particularly creepy way.
Tooms
In this sequel to "Squeeze", Tooms is released after an investigation. However, he needs to be stopped before he can claim his last victim and go into hibernation for another 30 years.
Born Again
The only witness to a 14th Precinct cop's apparent suicide is an eight-year-old girl, who was found miles away from her New York home. Mulder suspects that the girl may have special abilities such as telekinesis, and soon the agents uncover a murderous plot.
Roland
The death of a scientist working on jet propulsion technology leads Mulder and Scully to Roland, an autistic man who works as a janitor at the lab. The remaining scientists are being killed one by one, while their work is being completed without them.
The Erlenmeyer Flask
A man infused with alien material eludes police officers in Maryland, and disappears after jumping in the river. Deep Throat guides Mulder and Scully through a new realm of information, while Scully discovers.

X-Files Season Two

2007-12-09T19:45:00.000+02:00

Little Green Men
With the X-Files shut down, Mulder is assigned to wire taps while Scully returns to teaching at Quantico. All hopes dulled of ever finding evidence to what he has seen, Mulder is about to give up hope; luckily, however, the proof he was looking for may have just presented itself. With the X-Files closed, Scully has been assigned as an instructor at the FBI Academy while Mulder is doing menial surveillance work. After meeting with Senator Matheson, one of his supporters in regards to The X-Files, Mulder disobeys orders and heads to an abandoned SETI site in Puerto Rico which has unexplainably reactivated itself and could provide proof of contact with extra-terrestrial life.
The Host
A body is found in the sewers of New Jersey, and Agent Mulder is strangely assigned to the case. Soon, the killer seems more like an X-File-worthy creature than a homicidal man. Could his placement in this case be coincidence, or does somebody want the X-Files to continue? AD Skinner sends Mulder to investigate a body which washed into the New Jersey sewer from the ocean. Mulder believes that the basic blue-collar assignment is punishment, but on Skinner's own admission what he discovers is a true X-File.
Blood
A small county in Franklin, Pennsylvania has been home to a series of mass killings, where the murderer seems to have gone crazy in an unexplainable way. Mulder, with the help of Scully and his old buddies at The Lone Gunmen, tries to solve the case before it happens again. When several violent deaths in a small farming community are connected by the destruction of digital devices, Mulder believes that people are being driven to kill by the use of subliminal messages in the digital readouts.

Sleepless
A doctor specializing in sleep deprivation is found dead in his condo after reporting a massive fire outside the door. No fire was seen nor reported otherwise, but when Mulder asks Scully to take a closer look, she finds disturbing evidence that questions reality. Mulder reluctantly accepts a new partner, Agent Alex Krycek, and requests a strange case because someone put an audio tape in his morning paper. When his request is granted they investigate the deaths of several Green Beret soldiers who participated in a sleep deprivation experiment during the Vietnam war. But before long it becomes clear that not one of these men have slept in over 20 years...
Duane Barry
An institutionalized man who claims to have had multiple alien encounters escapes the hospital, taking his doctor with him. Agent Mulder is brought in to help the hostage negotiations. All the FBI wants is the hostages out alive, but all he wants is to be heard... Mulder is called to a hostage situation involving Duane Barry, a former FBI Agent who claims to be an alien abductee and wants to get back to the abduction site with someone who will be taken instead of him. Unfortunately, the someone he eventually chooses is Scully.
Ascension
Reviewing Scully's message to him from before she was taken, Mulder tries to piece together where Duane Barry is headed. Krycek, though reluctant, agrees to help and tags along. There are forces at work all around them; some are military, some may be small and gray. When Mulder finds out that Scully was kidnapped by Duane Barry, he risks the wrath of his superiors and the annoyance of Agent Krycek in order to do whatever it takes to find her. Meanwhile, Krycek is found to be reporting Mulder's activities to the CSM.
3
Whilst Agent Scully is still missing, Agent Mulder embarks upon an investigation involving vampires in Los Angeles, subsequently becoming involved with a sultry female vampire who yearns to escape her lifestyle. Truely alone for the first time since Scully found her way to the basement of the J. Edger Hoover Building, Mulder throws himself into his work, and into the bizarre world of vampire-fetishist in search of a trio of serial killers. But Mulder finds himself falling for the one woman that may be the prime suspect

One Breath
An unconscious Scully appears in the Emergency Ward of NE Georgetown Medical Center. As her mother and sister look after her, Mulder vows to track her captors down. After a talk with Asst. Director Skinner, Mulder hunts down the Smoking Man and demands the truth - at any cost. Scully mysteriously appears in a Washington hospital, alive but in a coma, and Mulder must fight to keep her alive in order to find out what happened to her and who did it to her. Meanwhile, Scully fights her own personal battle as she decides whether to stay or go on to the next world.
Firewalker
A distress signal is received from a volcano research team in the Cascades. The last captured image from their robot, Firewalker, shows a dead team member and something else inside the volcano. Mulder and Scully investigate, unaware of the true nature of the killer.
Red Museum
Agents Mulder and Scully investigate when a religious cult is accused of kidnapping, branding their victims with the words 'He is One', or 'She is One'. While investigating the connection between the abduction of several teenagers and a rural religious cult, Mulder & Scully discover a secret test being performed on the children using the "Purity Control" alien DNA from 'The Erlenmeyer Flask' which leads Mulder to the Crew-Cut Man, Deep Throat's murderer.
Excelsis Dei
A nurse (Teryl Rothery) who works in a home for the elderly in Massachusetts claims to have been raped by an invisible assailant. Mulder and Scully investigate, and soon find that the patients of the home are not quite what they seem. One of them appears to be seeing what isn't there, and the continued occurrence of seemingly inexplicable events (including apparent miracle cures for Alzheimer's Disease) point toward an extraordinary explanation.

Aubrey
Several murders in Aubrey, Missouri which occurred in the 1940's resurface when a county police officer digs up the bones of the missing FBI agent once assigned to the case. A similar murder occurred just a few nights ago, and it is up to Mulder and Scully to bring the story to rest.
Irresistible
Bodies are being dug up in Minneapolis, Minnesota, nails and hair removed from the young female victims. Mulder creates a working profile of the suspect, though the case is hard for Scully to accept. The killer is starting to kill to retrieve, and she may be next.
Die Hand die verletzt
A group of teenagers in New Hampshire, who decide to test an old myth about satanic rituals, nearly escape a killing which leaves one of them dead. Mulder and Scully investigate the case, which leads them to suspect the town, the school, and, most importantly, its staff.
Fresh Bones
When a soldier stationed at a processing center for Haitian citizens crashes his car into a tree marked by voodoo, his wife refuses to believe it was suicide. Mulder and Scully search for the man responsible, but must be careful that they don't get marked next.
Colony
Upon receiving three obituaries of three identical-looking men via anonymous e-mail, Mulder and Scully investigate the growing number of homicides throughout New England. When a new charade of evidence is presented, neither Mulder nor Scully know what to think.

End Game
The search for the bodies of those in the lake continues, as a note from Mulder's father leads him to an abortion clinic in Rockville, Maryland. What he finds he can neither believe nor explain, but the doctors there need his help, before they are exterminated.
Fearful Symmetry
An elephant found roaming an interstate road in Boise, Idaho escaped from a locked cage in a zoo across the county. The night before, a construction worker was mauled by a seemingly invisible force. Many other forces are at work, and Mulder and Scully must see them all.
Død Kalm
When some people on a ship are rescued, it is discovered that they are aging and later, dying. Mulder takes it upon himself to investigate the ship, which he believes has been the target of Philadelphia Experiments.
Humbug
The strange death of a circus sideshow attraction in Gibsonton, Florida, leads Mulder and Scully on a bizarre whodunit adventure into the world of the performing arts. Was the killer the Fiji Mermaid, the Dog-Faced Boy, or any of the town's other inhabitants?
The Calusari
A two-year-old boy in a Virginia park is mysteriously killed, and a further look shows a ghostly figure luring him. Mulder and Scully investigate despite an existing official inquiry, and learn that the boy's brother is in great danger as well - for evil follows evil.
F. Emasculata
When a package with infected contents releases the virus on its inmate recipient, a dozen prisoners contract it and Mulder and Scully are mysteriously called in to help. What they find demands that the truth be told to the public, but that's the one thing they cannot do.
Soft Light
Three deaths have occurred around Richmond, Virginia. The only traces which each of the victims seem to have left behind are black scorch marks of unknown origin. Mulder and Scully are called in by an old student of hers, and the search for the truth begins in its shadows.
Our Town
Reports of foxfire on a field in Dudley, Arkansas lead Mulder and Scully to a bizarre situation regarding the townsfolk. Employees of the Chaco Chicken Corporation are displaying bizarre behavior, and the death rate is slowly increasing.
Anasazi
A man known as "The Thinker" has hacked into the U.S. Department of Defense mainframe and uncovered 50-years-worth of proof that the Gov't has been dealing with aliens. Mulder and Scully race against time to distinguish truth from lies, uncover the secrets, and survive them.

X-Files Season Three

2007-12-09T19:43:00.000+02:00

The Blessing Way
A furious pursuit of Agent Mulder is underway, and more importantly, the government wants the data tape he carried. Agent Scully, against all odds, searches to uncover his whereabouts, persisting that he is alive when all others deny it.
Paper Clip
Mulder returns to Skinner and Scully while the deadly pursuit is still at hand. Led by an old photograph of his father and a group of scientists, he and Scully discover more than they could imagine in an old West Virginia warehouse. The truth, of course, may kill everyone.
D.P.O.
One of the best episodes of the X-files, starring a then highly promising young actor beside Scully & Mulder. A local teen discovers he has gained great electrical powers after surviving being struck by lightning. Easily a classic episode and well worth checking out.
Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose
Several local psychics in St. Paul, MN are found dead in their stores with no real evidence left behind. When the police department hires a famous psychic to lead their case, Mulder and Scully are quite skeptical - but Mulder's found a psychic of his own.
The List
Napoleon "Neech" Manley, an inmate in East Point State Penitentiary, FL, has gotten the electric chair. Before dying, Neech prophesied his own return and the death of five who were responsible. Rumors of a hit list surface, and Mulder and Scully must find it before it's too late.
2Shy
The corpse of a woman, or what's left of it, is discovered in a car in Cleveland, Ohio. Mulder traces the questionable homicide to previous cases in which the victims, all female, subscribed to a newspaper column. The killer has now found his way on to the Internet.
The Walk
A disabled war veteran at the Army Hospital in Fort Evanston, Maryland makes claims of a phantom soldier who has killed all his loved ones and kept him alive to suffer. Mulder and Scully work to solve the rising amount of homicides, but Mulder has some theories of his own.

Oubliette
At the same time that a 15-year-old girl was kidnapped from her home, a previous kidnap victim, now a waitress, collapsed also. Mulder tries to prove that both victims are linked, though neither local law nor Scully will believe him, as the waitress herself is a suspect.
Nisei
Following a lead on a video tape of a supposed alien autopsy, Agent Mulder discovers the fate of a recovered alien ship, whose pilot may have survived. Scully, searching a list of suspects, discovers a group of women who, like her, were abducted - and learns of their fate.
731
While Mulder remains on the passenger train he believes is holding an alien captive, Scully is led to a disease research facility in Perkey, West Virginia, where she is told ordinary men were subjected to tests. Amidst lies and doubts, Mulder must stop the train - or at least its bomb.
Revelations
Over the course of three years, eleven would-be stigmatics, or people who claim to have harnessed the power of God, have been killed. Just as Mulder proves the most recent one was a fraud, he and Scully get a call about a boy who bleeds from his hands, and may be in danger.

War of the Coprophages
When an exterminator in Millers Grove, Massachusetts drops dead and 2 more townspeople follow, every citizen screams "roaches!" Indeed Agent Mulder, the town's best hope for survival, is hot on the trail of the creepy crawling insects, and it's all a matter of not bugging out!
Syzygy
A string of several curious deaths brings the rural Caryl County to the streets, preposterously shouting "Satanists!" As Mulder persistently investigates the case alongside a highly doubtful Scully, he learns that the culprit may be, not exactly evil, but cosmic.
Grotesque
After a serial killer, who claims to have killed people under the influence of a demon, is arrested, the murders continue. Meanwhile Mulder, who believes that the demon might have picked someone new, goes neck-deep in the investigation.
Piper Maru
A French ship on a salvage mission docks in the States, and its crew all suffer strangely severe radiation burns - all but one man, who piloted the rescue suit. Old secrets resurface as Mulder searches for the truth to this newborn mystery as well as its... alien... origin.
Apocrypha
The search for the long lost digital tape is short-lived once Mulder is able to track down a secretive government official. While Scully cares for hospitalized Skinner, Mulder learns what Krycek has been up to, and they try to track down the salvaged UFO before it's too late.
Pusher
A seemingly unmotivated murderer, who can apparently talk his victims into killing themselves is on the loose and it is up to Mulder and Scully to study the clues left to them by the person and capture him.

Teso dos Bichos
A team of diggers who are rescuing ancient Indian artifacts from otherwise certain destruction uncover a burial urn containing the remains of a female shaman known as an Amaru. Though many protest its removal, the urn is sent to a Boston Museum, where its curse ensues.
Hell Money
Once a man is burned alive in Chinatown, San Francisco and several ghostly figures vanish from the scene without a trace, Mulder and Scully enlist the help of a local cop. Spirits of the dead seem to tie in with an underground organization. Losing their game can mean death.
Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'
The story of two teenagers who were abducted by aliens interests popular writer Jose Chung. He seeks out Scully to retell her account of what happened, but everybody else has different views. Who are the mysterious Men in Black, and are we really alone in the universe?
Avatar
FBI Assistant Director Walter Skinner is the prime suspect in a homicide involving a woman he was with the night of her death. Mulder and Scully are all he has to prove his innocence, as superior officers try to shut him down and the only clue is a mysterious old woman.
Quagmire
The disappearances of a Boy Scout leader and a biologist within weeks of each other draw Mulder's attention to Heuvelman's Lake in Georgia. Resident officials believe the case to be a joke, but Mulder hopes to find proof of the lake's long-rumored prehistoric monster, "Big Blue".
Wetwired
A man who killed five people claims that all of his victims were the same war criminal he saw on TV. Investigation by Mulder and Scully turn up something unusual with the television signals in the area, and Mulder must uncover the truth before Scully becomes the next killer.
Talitha Cumi
When the victims of a fast food restaurant shootout are miraculously healed and the healer vanishes without a trace, Mulder and Scully investigate. At the same time, Mulder's Mother is taken ill and an old source confronts him with photos pertaining to a long-repressed past.

X-Files Season Four

2007-12-09T19:40:00.000+02:00

Herrenvolk
The continuing search for Jeremiah Smith leads Scully to uncover encrypted data files whose purpose is not yet known. Being closely hunted by an unknown assassin, Jeremiah leads Mulder to a secluded farm in rural Canada while men in suits determine Mrs. Mulder's fate.
Home
The remains of an infant suffering from an uncharted amount of birth disabilities are uncovered in a field in rural Home, Pennsylvania. The only suspicious residents are three brothers who have lived on their family farm for twenty-some years. They live there alone. Or do they?
Teliko
Several African American men in Philadelphia, PA have gone missing, and one of them turned up dead under mysterious circumstances. All pigment in his skin was lost, and the cause of death may have a connection to an ancient African tribal monster who stalks the night for its prey.
Unruhe
An intended passport photo for a missing woman develops warped and twisted, showing her terrified and surrounded by beings. With a little investigation, Mulder develops a theory that the kidnapper of this woman has the power to psychically display his thoughts on film.

The Field Where I Died
Agents Mulder and Scully investigate a suspicious religious cult, which inadvertently draws Mulder into recalling a past life, in the field where he died.
Sanguinarium
The bizarre, perhaps ritualistic death inside Greenwood Memorial Hospital's Aesthetic Surgery Unit is cause for alarm. Though head practitioners are at first unwilling to help Mulder and Scully with their investigation, several more 'possession killings' force them to.
Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man
Mulder and Scully are called to meet with The Lone Gunmen. It is there that Frohike reveals an uncovered history of the infamous Cigarette-Smoking Man. The story told involves his desperate attempts to live a worthy life while continuing to conceal and change American history.
Tunguska
When a man carrying a sample of the mythical black oil into the US is detained and the sample is released, the hierarchy involved in its concealment must act. Led by a revived and vengeful Krycek, Mulder and Scully seek to find its origin, its purpose, and perhaps its cure.
Terma
Called upon to disclose Agent Mulder's current whereabouts, Scully must stall the hearings until further understanding of the mysterious "black cancer" is revealed. Mulder, in the mean time, must escape a Russian prison camp, or be subjected to the "testing" until he dies.

Paper Hearts
A recurring dream of Mulder's leads him to discover the 14th victim of a serial killer whom he caught years before as a detective. The murderer takes heart-shaped fabric from each of his young girl victims' clothing, and insists Mulder go on a goose-hunt to find the final two missing girls - one of which may be his sister.
El Mundo Gira
White flashes of lightning followed by yellow rain in southern California north of the border give new life to an old Mexican folk-tale of El Chupacabra, a gray-skinned being whose victims decompose fast. Are the stories true, or is there simply a new viral pathogen in the world?
Leonard Betts
After an ambulance accident leaves Pittsburg, PA's EMT of the Year Leonard Betts without a head, and what's left of his body seems to walk right out of the morgue, Mulder and Scully investigate. They find what may be evidence of evolution from man to something... cancerous.
Never Again
Agent Mulder has taken a week-long vacation and it's up to Scully to track several Russian war veterans in Philadelphia, PA. She arrives, upset and disturbed, but soon is distracted by a single man with a tattoo. The tattoo, unfortunately, has a cynical mind that is eager to kill.

Memento Mori
The horrible truth behind Scully's illness is revealed: she has cancer and may die. Such has been the fate of a dozen other women who, last year, introduced themselves as abductees and made claims of being with Dana on an alien space ship. Mulder must find a cure, and fast.
Kaddish
Three teenage murder suspects involved in the death of a Jewish store clerk in Brooklyn, New York, are in danger, for it seems that the murder victim himself is vengefully claiming their lives. Mulder and Scully work to solve the case, but their suspect may not be alive enough for them to take in, or stop.
Unrequited
The execution of an honored military general by a seemingly invisible assailant receives the attention of Assistant Director Skinner and a special task force including Mulder and Scully. The feds have less than twelve hours to find the mysterious man before more generals are killed.
Tempus Fugit
Mulder and Scully investigate a plane crash in New York state. The crash appears to be UFO caused because one of the passengers was Max Fennig, an alien abductee, who Mulder and Scully know from a previous encounter. The agents work against the military which attempts to cover up what really happened to that flight.
Max
The investigation continues for agents Mulder and Scully of the apparent downing of Flight 549 by a UFO. They encounter deadly opposition from the military which continues to cover up the truth of incident.
Synchrony
A mysterious old man is killing scientists working on the development of a cryobiologic compound. He freezes them to death with this same compound that doesn't even exist yet.

Small Potatoes
Five unrelated women in a small town give birth to babies with small tails. The prime suspect is a man who can shape shift into whomever he wants.
Zero Sum
A swarm of bees mysteriously kill a postal worker in an enclosed restroom. Assistant Director Skinner covers up the evidence. Mulder investigates Skinner's apparent involvement with the crime.
Elegy
Several women are killed in the same manner within blocks of each other. One of the dead women's ghost is seen by the proprietor of a bowling alley attempting to communicate. The cryptic message "She is me" is found where the apparition appeared. It's also apparently the dying woman's final words.
Demons
Mulder wakes up in a strange motel room with blood on his shirt and not knowing how he arrived there. A double murder has been committed with Mulder's gun. Mulder and Scully attempt to clear Mulder's name while finding out what is causing Mulder's memory lapses and blackouts.
Gethsemane
Mulder is given an opportunity to obtain irrefutable proof of the existence of extra-terrestrial beings. At the same time, Scully deals with her cancer. Michael Kritschgau, a Department of Defense employee, later gives Mulder information that turns Mulder's beliefs about extra-terrestrial life upside down.

X-Files Season Five

2007-12-09T19:37:00.000+02:00

Redux
Mulder kills a man in self-defense who was spying on him in his apartment. Scully tells the FBI that the dead man in Mulder's apartment is Mulder. Mulder uses the opportunity and the dead man's ID to infiltrate the Department of Defense and search for answers about Scully's cancer. Scully also continues to look for answers about her cancer and the spying done on Mulder.
Redux II
As Scully lies in the hospital dying of cancer, Mulder continues to search for answers. The cigarette smoking man approaches Mulder with a deal to quit the FBI and join him in exchange for curing Scully's cancer and learning the truth. Mulder testifies before an FBI sub-committee about the dead man found in his apartment and a possible mole in the FBI.
Unusual Suspects
The origins of the Lone Gunmen are shown. At a computer and electronics show in a convention center in 1989 Baltimore, Byers, Frohike, and Langley have separate booths. They combine forces to help a mysterious woman who uses their computer prowess to obtain confidential information about a heinous government plot. A pre-X-Files Agent Mulder appears to be investigating this woman as well.
Detour
Mulder and Scully travel to an FBI team seminar in Florida with two other agents. On their way to the seminar, they are stopped by a police roadblock. Mulder and Scully stay to help in the investigation of the mysterious disappearance of a hunter in the Florida Everglades. It appears to be the work of invisible predators.

The Post-Modern Prometheus
A letter to Mulder from a woman who has become twice pregnant through strange circumstances, brings the agents to her small town. There Mulder and Scully discover a mad scientist who has been doing experiments with humans and animals. Among these experiments they discover a modern-day Frankenstein's monster, who may possess the answers to their current investigation.
Christmas Carol
Agent Scully is spending Christmas with her family in San Diego. While there, she receives a mysterious phone call from a caller with the voice of her deceased sister, Melissa. Tracing the phone call leads her into the investigation of the death of a woman with a young daughter named Emily. Emily bears an uncanny resemblance to Scully's sister Melissa when she was the same age. This leads Scully to find out who Emily's natural mother is.
Emily
With both of her adoptive parents dead, Scully looks to adopt Emily. Mulder and Scully investigate where Emily came from and how she came to be. When they discover that Emily is not quite human, their investigations lead to a large experimentation involving old women being artificially inseminated with alien/human embryos.
Kitsunegari
Robert Modell (Pusher) escapes from prison. Mulder and Scully find themselves in another game of "cat and mouse" with a killer who can manipulate the minds of his victims. Mulder questions whether Modell is the one playing the game this time around.

Schizogeny
A 16-year-old boy is accused of burying his stepfather alive in the orchard mud. Later, a girl's father is also killed mysteriously near the orchard. It appears the orchard has murderous qualities. Mulder and Scully look into a connection with the two teenagers and their counselor who has a troubled past.
Chinga
Scully takes a much needed vacation in New England. When she arrives at a grocery store, Scully encounters several people who have clawed their own eyes. Scully assists the local police department in discovering the cause of this unusual occurrence. Scully's investigations lead her to a single mother with a disturbed little girl and her even more disturbing doll.
Kill Switch
Two U.S. marshals, several street-level criminals, and a computer software pioneer (Donald Gelman) are all casualties of a bizarre diner shoot-out in the middle of the night. The Lone Gunmen help Mulder and Scully track down Invisigoth, a computer hacker who knew Gelman. She informs them about an artificial intelligence program created by Gelman that has deadly intentions. The only way to stop it is to feed it the "kill switch", a CD containing a neutralizing virus.
Bad Blood
While investigating bizarre exsanguinations in Texas, Mulder kills a teenage boy whom he mistakes for a vampire. Awaiting a meeting with Skinner, Mulder and Scully attempt to get their stories "straight" by relating to each other their differing versions of what happened during their investigation.
Patient X
Faceless alien rebels are committing mass murders. Mulder and Scully meet a multiple alien abductee, Cassandra Spender. As the consortium tries to determine how to deal with these new alien rebels, Mulder and Scully work to figure out Cassandra Spender's connection with these mass killings. In their way is Agent Jeffrey Spender, who doesn't believe that his mother, Cassandra Spender, is an alien abductee.

The Red and the Black
Mulder and Scully look to retrieve Scully's memories from the incident on the bridge where the mass killings happened. The consortium pressures Krycek for the vaccine to the black oil. As Spender continues the search for his mother, Mulder and Scully go to Wiekamp Air Force Base in hopes of finding the alien rebel being held captive there.
Travelers
In pre-x-files 1990, Mulder goes to the home of Arthur Dales, a retired FBI agent. Mulder asks him about an unsolved case from 1952. Arthur Dales tells Mulder the story of his involvement in one of the first x-files. The case also involved Mulder's dad, Bill Mulder.
Mind's Eye
A blind woman sees flashes of a murder in her mind. She is later arrested at the site of the crime for the violent killing of a drug dealer. The abrasive woman, Marty, maintains her innocence, despite knowing specific details of the crime. Mulder and Scully investigate Marty's bizarre connection with the crime.
All Souls
A wheelchair-bound handicapped girl manages to walk out of her house and is later found dead in a praying position with her eyes burned out. Scully assists in the investigation at the bidding of her priest. She discovers two other girls with the same deformities who may be in a similar danger. The case soon comes to have deep religious and personal significance to Scully concerning her deceased daughter, Emily.
The Pine Bluff Variant
During an undercover sting operation on a terrorist organization, Mulder appears to help the suspect escape. Due to Mulder's strange behavior, Scully becomes suspicious of Mulder's involvement in this organization and suspects he may not be working on the side of the FBI.
Folie a Deux
Mulder gets sent to investigate a threat made against a telemarketing firm. While at the firm, Mulder gets caught in a hostage crisis where one of the employees claims his boss is a monster and that he is turning the other employees into zombies.
The End
During a chess tournament, a young boy becomes the centre of an investigation concerning the alien mythology. Meanwhile a face from Agent Mulder's past causes friction in his relationship with Agent Scully.

X-Files Season Six

2007-12-09T19:35:00.000+02:00

The Beginning
Mulder and Scully's ability to pursue the X-Files and their partnership is threatened by the hunt for a deadly creature in the Arizona desert, whose capture could prove Mulder's theories about the existence of extraterrestrial life. Mulder is less than thrilled when an Office of Professional Conduct board refuses to reassign him and Scully to The X-Files and even more so when he learns that Agent Spender and Agent Fowley have become their successors. When Gibson Praise reappears and comes to them for help, Mulder and Scully attempt to continue their quest undercover despite having fewer friends and less access and protection than ever before.
Drive
With Mulder trapped in a car by a seemingly deranged man, Scully races to determine if the man is suffering from a deadly illness and if Mulder is in danger of becoming the next victim. Mulder is trapped in a car with a man who has developed a serious ear condition which can only be suppressed by driving west at high speeds. As Scully tries to find the cause and a cure for the problem, Mulder and the man get closer and closer to the ocean.
Triangle
A trip to the Bermuda Triangle lands Mulder in the middle of a bizarre conflict on a mysterious ship, with the fate of the world in his hands. Mulder goes to the Bermuda Triange when he learns that the Queen Anne, a British luxury liner which disappeared during WWII, has re-appeared in the middle of the Sargasso Sea. Mulder's boat is wrecked and after floating in the water, he is hauled aboard the ship which has just been hijacked by the Nazis searching for the man who will build the atom bomb. Mulder tries to convince the crew that they have traveled into the future but evidence further suggests that it is he, who is back in the past.

Dreamland
An anonymous tip finally brings Mulder and Scully to the mecca of all UFO lore, Area 51. But when the agents witness the flight of a mysterious craft, their lives are profoundly and perhaps irrevocably altered. While being detained near the famed "Dreamland" Area 51, a strange craft flies overhead and Mulder swaps bodies with an Area 51 'Man-in-Black'. While the other agent has fun in Mulder's body, Mulder himself finds it difficult to fit into someone else's life, especially a shadowy one. Mulder contacts Scully about the body-swap and tries to get her the Flight Data Recorder from the UFO test flight but his alter ego uses Mulder's FBI persona to have him arrested.
Dreamland II
Scully begins to suspect that her partner's strange behavior is more than it appears to be, while Mulder fights to return his life to normal before it's too late. Mulder is thrown in jail at the Area 51 compound but is released when it is discovered that the flight data recorder he stole was a fake. Scully comes to her senses and realises that the Mulder she sees isn't who he really is and heads back to Nevada to help the real Mulder. Meanwhile, the mechanism that caused the body swap is rapidly snapping back, undoing everything in it's wake and Mulder and his alter ego must race to put themselves back where they belong.
How the Ghosts Stole Christmas
On Christmas Eve, Mulder and Scully stakeout a house that is supposedly haunted by the ghosts of two lovers who killed each other in a lovers' pact 81 years before. Inside, the agents find two apparitions who are more than willing to give insight into the relationship and personalities of Mulder and Scully.
Terms of Endearment
Mulder suspects demon fetal harvesting when a woman claims her unborn child had a horn and tail and was taken by a devil while she slept. While others conclude that the woman killed her own baby, Mulder suspects that her husband is involved and that he may be the devil in disguise.

The Rain King
A mayor of a small town asks Mulder and Scully to investigate Daryl Mootz, a man who apparently can make it rain at will. The mayor believes Mootz is responsible for causing a local drought so that he can charge individuals for rain on their farms.
S.R. 819
Skinner comes down with a mysterious condition that puts him on the verge of death. An unknown voice on the phone tells Skinner that he has 24 hours to live. Mulder and Scully rush to find a cure for his condition. His impending death is somehow linked to S.R. 819, a Senate resolution that will supply money and medical supplies to the World Health Organization.
Tithonus
Agent Scully gets paired up with a new partner to investigate a singular case. Alfred Fellig, a freelance crime photographer, has a knack for arriving at crime scenes shortly after the murder and long before the police arrive. Local authorities suspect Fellig may be killing the victims himself before photographing them.
Two Fathers
After being gone for almost a year following her abduction, Cassandra Spender reappears, in perfect physical condition as the first successful alien/human hybrid. The consortium scrambles as the faceless alien rebels seek to expose their conspiracy with the colonizing aliens. Mulder and Scully try to discover the identity of the Cigarette Smoking Man and protect Cassandra from the consortium who want her dead.
One Son
Agents Mulder and Scully find themselves under strict quarantine after coming into contact with Cassandra Spender. Meanwhile, the suspicious Diana Fowley increases her loyalties to the Cigarette Smoking Man. CSM reveals all the government secrets from the past 50 years in order for his son, Jeffery Spender, to join him in his work. Mulder learns that the final stage of the conspiracy will soon begin with the hybridization of the Syndicate members and he must stop it from happening. Agent Spender deceives his father and arranges for Mulder and Scully to be reassigned to the X-Files, which doesn't sit too well with CSM.

Agua Mala
At Arthur Dales' request, the agents go to Florida during a hurricane to investigate the disappearance of Mr. Dales' neighbors, two marine biologists and their son. During the storm, Mulder and Scully get stranded in an apartment building where a sea monster is on the loose.
Monday
A bank robbery gone wrong turns into disaster for Mulder and Scully. Mulder gets shot by the bank robber, and he and Scully, along with everyone else in the bank are blown up by a bomb strapped to the bank robber's chest. However, this same day continues to repeat in an endless cycle always ending in the same result.
Arcadia
Scully and Mulder go undercover as husband and wife in a high-class planned community where several couples have gone missing. On their first official case back on the X-Files, Mulder and Scully go undercover as a married couple at a prestigious planned community where several residents have recently disappeared after failing to comply with the rules and regulations.
Alpha
Mulder and Scully investigate a series of murders that may be connected to a Chinese breed of dog. A mysterious dog thought to be the last of a rare Asian breed is responsible for several murders which Mulder and Scully are investigating. Now the agents have to find a way to stop the dog before it kills again.
Trevor
An escaped convict apparently has the ability to pass through solid objects. He has $90,000 hidden somewhere from the bank robbery for which he was imprisoned. Mulder and Scully must find the deadly convict before he can get to his ex-girlfriend and the money.

Milagro
An introverted writer, Philip Padgett, develops an obsession with Scully and moves into Mulder's building in order to be closer to her. Inspired by her, Padgett writes his magnum opus: a story of secret love and serial murder, featuring Scully and Padgett as main characters. However, the murders in his story begin occurring exactly as written. As he struggles to finish his novel, Padgett realizes that only Scully's death can produce the perfect ending.
The Unnatural
Mulder uncovers a story involving a Negro baseball player in the 1940s who played for a minor league team in Roswell. When in a photograph he sees the Alien Bounty Hunter it is assumed that Josh Exley, the baseball player in question, might just be alien himself.
Three of a Kind
The Lone Gunmen are at a defense contractors convention in Las Vegas trying to get inside information on military secrets. When Byers spots Susanne Modeski at a casino, he convinces the other lone gunmen to trick Scully into coming to Las Vegas to help them investigate why Susanne Modeski is there and what she is up to.
Field Trip
A young married couple's skeletons are found together on a field in the mountains after only being reported missing for three days. The area where their skeletons were found is known for UFO activity, so Mulder and Scully go there to investigate it. Mulder finds the couple alive and all signs point to an alien abduction. But everything is not as it seems.
Biogenesis
An artifact with strange engravings on it is found off of the coast of Africa. When a rubbing of these engravings is shown to Mulder, confusing noises happen inside his head. The agents look to uncover the origin of this mysterious artifact and to find out why it is having a singular effect on Mulder.

X-Files Season Seven

2007-12-09T19:30:00.000+02:00

The Sixth Extinction
In Africa, Scully searches for answers for Mulder's condition by studying rubbings taken from the fallen spacecraft. Back in D.C., Skinner tries to help Mulder by finding Michael Kritschgau at Mulder's request, who may know what is causing Mulder's accelerated brain activity.
The Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati
Mulder's condition continues to deteriorate. He is kidnapped from the hospital by the Cigarette Smoking Man for insidious purposes. Mulder experiences dreams of another life, away from the x-files. Scully searches frantically for Mulder before it's too late.
Hungry
Rob Roberts has an addiction to human brains. As he tries to control this overpowering hunger and turn his life around, Mulder and Scully try to find out who the brain-eating monster is.
Millennium
At the turn of the 21st century, a religious fanatic enlisted by the Millennium Group resurrects four members of the group as zombies to bring about the end of the world. Mulder and Scully enlist the help of Frank Black to help stop the apocalyptic designs of the Millennium Group.
Rush
A high school boy is accused of the violent murder of a sheriff's deputy. Mulder believes he is innocent. The agents find that someone with super-human speed may be the culprit.

The Goldberg Variation
A man is tossed off the top of a 29 story building by gangsters. Amazingly, he gets up and walks away unscathed. Mulder and Scully investigate when Mulder suspects this man may have paranormal abilities. The man in question may just be the luckiest man on Earth.
Orison
Five years have passed since Scully escaped from Donnie Pfaster, an obsessed death fetishist. When Reverend Orison helps the madman get away from prison he immediately turns to the 'one' that got away...Scully.
The Amazing Maleeni
Mulder and Scully investigate the apparent murder of a magician who was decapitated just minutes after he was able to perform the trick of turning his head around 360 degrees. The agents are perplexed when Scully discovers during the autopsy that the deceased died well before he performed his final trick.
Signs & Wonders
A man is found dead in his locked car, killed from over a hundred snake bites. However, no evidence of snakes being present is found. The man was a former member of a religious cult that believes in snake handling. Mulder and Scully believe that this snake death was no accident, and that it may have been a murder involving this snake handling cult.
Sein und Zeit
Mulder requests to be put on the case of a seemingly routine child abduction case of a missing little girl. Mulder finds a connection between this case and old x-files involving missing children. Scully believes that Mulder is personalizing the case, relating it to the abduction of his sister Samantha.

Closure
Mulder enlists the help of Harold Piller, a police psychic, to search for the missing girl, Amber Lynn LaPierre. Meanwhile, Scully searches for answers about Samantha's abduction, leading her to the Cigarette Smoking Man. Both of their investigations lead to Mulder finally learning the truth about his sister's disappearance.
X-Cops
The investigation of a neighborhood monster isn't too weird for the crew of Cops to follow around Mulder and Scully.
First Person Shooter
The Lone Gunmen request Mulder and Scully's assistance in a murder case at a video game company. A virtual reality game has gone haywire, and players are dying for real at the hands of Maitreya, the central character in this game. Mulder and Scully enter the game in an attempt to find and stop the killer.
Theef
Voodoo appears to be involved in the murder of a prominent doctor's father-in-law. Mulder and Scully work to stop the killer who uses hex-craft to exact his revenge on the doctor's family.
En Ami
A boy is miraculously cured of his cancer, without medical treatment. After Scully visits the boy and his family, she is met by the Cigarette Smoking Man. He offers Scully the chance to obtain the cure for all cancer in exchange for going on a trip with him to get the cure and keeping the trip a secret from Mulder.
Chimera
Mulder and Scully are on a stakeout of a female serial-killer of prostitutes. Mulder gets called away from the stakeout by Skinner to investigate the disappearance of federal judge's daughter. The strange appearance of a raven shortly before she went missing leads Mulder to believe this case may have paranormal significance.

All Things
Scully is finishing up the autopsy of a person at a hospital. A file mix-up involving the autopsy folder and another patient's x-ray leads Scully to discover a former lover of hers has been admitted at the hospital. Meeting with him again causes Scully to re-examine the decisions she has made in her life, leading to her where she is to today.
Brand X
A potential witness in a high-profile tobacco case under Skinner's supervision, is found dead in his bathroom from mysterious circumstances. Skinner asks Mulder and Scully to assist him in the investigation. They find a man who smokes a unique kind of cigarettes, the second-hand smoke of which, has deadly results for the inhaler.
Hollywood A.D.
Skinner's buddy from college, Wayne Federman, trails Mulder and Scully on a case involving a pipe bombing in a church, at Skinner's insistence. Wayne is a writer/producer from Hollywood gathering material for a FBI-based movie. Mulder and Scully turn out to be the reluctant stars of this movie by Federman.
Fight Club
Two strikingly similar women, who do not know one another, cause people to erupt into violence upon each other, whenever these two women come in contact. Mulder and Scully set out to solve the mystery of this unexplained violence involving the two women.
Je Souhaite
Two brothers have a less than helpful genie who grants their wishes with disastrous consequences. Mulder comes into possession of the same genie, and his wishes garner similar results.
Requiem
Nearly a decade since their first case, Agents Mulder and Scully return to Oregon to investigate a strange entity in a forest, risking their partnership and lives.