Ally McBeal 1

1. Pilot
Ally McBeal, 28, and a recent graduate of Harvard Law School, is harassed on the job by a senior associate. When she confronts the partners, it backfires and she loses her job. On the street, she literally bumps into an old classmate, Richard Fish, who offers her a position working for his new firm. She excepts, despite her misgivings about his ethical standards. While being introduced to her new fellow associates, she receives the shock of her career.
2. Compromising Positions
Fish's partner, John Cage faces fines, jail, and public humiliation. To her dismay, Ally is assigned to be a litigator. Fish invites Ally along to dinner with a very wealthy potential client, Ronald Cheanie. Unbeknownst to Ally, the dinner is really a double date with Fish and his girlfriend, Whipper. Ally is furious, but Cheanie turns out to be handsome and intelligent.
3. The Kiss
Ally senses Cheanie is withholding something when he neglects to kiss her goodnight after their first official date. Georgia asks Ally to assist her in trying an age discrimination case when the opposing litigator turns out to be Billings, the guy Ally tried to sue for sexual harassment at her old firm. Fish admonishes Ally for putting her emotional life above the firm's financial welfare while telling her to grow up.
4. The Affair
Ally is asked to be a pallbearer at the funeral of her ex-law professor. The widow, Katherine Dawson, invites her to give the eulogy, but Ally's initial reluctance betrays the reason. In a moment of complete vulnerability, she confesses to Billy who supports her by agreeing to attend the funeral with her. This unnerves Georgia, and Cheanie, who are both feeling threatened when they realize Billy is helping Ally out during a difficult time in her life. Georgia confronts Billy, and Cheanie confronts Ally, who refuses to tell him why she's been upset lately. He doesn't understand why she chooses to confide in Billy over him.
5. One Hundred Tears Away
Ally is arrested for aggravated assault and attempted shoplifting. Renee bails her out, but word spreads quickly, and Ally is brought before the State Bar Review Board. A litany of her recent travails is read aloud, and Ally must contend with her unconventional past catching up with her.
6. The Promise
Ally has to defend a friend of Whipper brought up on solicitation charges. She is serving as second chair to Cage, whose idiosyncrasies become increasingly apparent and mystifying to Ally as well as the other attorneys. At the same time, on a different case, a severely rotund attorney passes out from a near heart attack just outside the courtroom and Ally has to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
7. The Attitude
Ally represents a Jewish woman who needs her Rabbi to grant her a spiritual release from her marriage to her comatose husband. Ally goes personally to the Rabbi's office to find out why he is being so rigid. Meanwhile, Georgia is the target of a senior partner's wife's insecurities.
8. Drawing the Lines
Billy and Georgia are faced with a crisis of confidence in their marriage. Elaine threatens to sue the firm for sexual harassment if Fish and Cage don't meet her demands for improved working conditions. Ally, Georgia, and Cage take on a lucrative divorce case. Fish uses some tactics, which causes a debate between the two parties as to which side is the most amoral.
9. The Dirty Joke
The attorney, Caroline Poop, who represented Elaine in her short lived suit against Fish and Cage regarding the constant gawking directed at a beautiful delivery woman, returns. This time she is representing the beautiful delivery women, Jennifer, who now serves Fish and Cage with her own lawsuit for same-sex sexual harassment. Meanwhile, Ally makes a bet with Renee that she can tell a dirty joke and get more laughs. The duel is set for the bar downstairs in her office building.

10. Boy to the World
Judge Whipper Cone asks Ally to take on a pro-bono case of a young prostitute up on her third solicitation charge. Fish, meanwhile, wants to sue his uncle's church for discrimination, due to his uncle's overt bigotry towards vertically challenged people (short people). The church's contention is that they cannot support bigotry of any kind and allowing the uncle a service and proper burial is tantamount to endorsing the appalling views. Fish promises he will not propagate the attitudes in his eulogy. Renee talks Ally into double dating with the salad-dressing-on-the-chin guy if the Biscuit is invited.
11. Silver Bells
Three intelligent, successful and motivated adults approach Judge Whipper Cone about the possibility of getting legal representation in their quest to have the courts approve a legal, binding, three-way marriage. Fish assigns Ally and Cage to the case, knowing Ally's incurable romanticism and Cage's legal acumen is a potent combination with Whipper assigned to the case. Ally is opposed, claiming the three-way relationship is morally repugnant, but Georgia, feeling punkish around the holidays, points out that the clients' triangle isn't very different from the one in which Ally, Georgia, and Billy find themselves. Georgia accuses Billy of being more relaxed and open in their marriage ever since Ally re-entered the picture. Whipper, herself experiencing an annual bout of Holiday Blues, causes Fish to propose marriage, even though both know he really doesn't want to.
12. Cro-Magnon
Ally is shocked to discover that her biological clock is ticking, unleashing strange libidinal impulses in her. During a sculpting class with live nude male models, she and Renee become enamored by one particular model with obviously generous endowments. Meanwhile, Ally has taken on the case of the 19-year-old son of an important client, who has been charged with assault because he slugged a guy in a bar who was verbally harassing his date. The boy tells Ally he felt justified because he warned the guy first, which serves to increase Ally's cradle robbing interest in him.
13. The Blame Game
Ally has a chance encounter with Glenn, the well-endowed artists' model, at a local Starbucks, and makes it very clear that she is irritated with him. On the legal side, John Cage takes on a wrongful death case that Fish is convinced will reap big bucks for the firm. Two adult siblings are suing an airline after their father is killed in a plane crash.
14. Body Language
Ally and Renee are bridesmaids at a friend's wedding. They both bristle at the absurdity of the rituals performed, and swear to never do it. Richard asks Ally to flirt with a wealthy new client. To Ally's chagrin, Cage offers no protest on her behalf, admitting he's undergoing smile therapy which has renewed his appreciation for behavioral reinforcement. Ally and Georgia try a case about overturning a prison warden's decision to refuse marriage for a life-term inmate.
15. Once in a Lifetime
Fish brings in a client, an 80-something world famous artist, who is battling his heirs to regain control of his estate. Ally and Billy co-counsel the case, and as a result of spending several late nights together, separately conclude that the artist's love of his recently deceased wife parallels their own relationship in many ways. Meanwhile, Cage begins to sense that Ally is losing interest in the possibility of getting together when she behaves in an overtly irritable manner that is obvious to the entire office. Fish loses his patience and decides to get to the bottom of Cage's problem with Ally.
16. Forbidden Fruits
The firm takes on a high profile case involving a jilted spouse who is suing a US Senator for "interfering with happy marital relations". The Senator's case takes on perversely similar parallels to the Ally / Billy / Georgia love triangle, causing Georgia to quit the case, Fish to try the case, and Cage to keep the Senator from losing his career. Ally, meanwhile, doesn't hide much from Renee, and while trying to deny her feelings, experiences another dancing baby visitation, and thus causing Renee to wonder about Ally's sanity. Cage taps Fish to help litigate; knowing his utter lack of legal experience is just what they need to discredit the merits of the case. He advises Ally to match her adversary with smiles and ingratiating behavior.
17. Theme of Life
Ally, Georgia and Renee sign up for a kick boxing class to relieve stress. Ally and Georgia wind up having to fight each other because they're both beginners. As they start to carp more and more at the office, all pretext towards civility drops in the ring and their matches in the class increasingly intensify. Ally takes on a case about an attractive surgeon accused of performing an unauthorized and controversial transplant procedure. Cage insists it's time for her to visit with his smile therapist and she agrees. Fish, meanwhile is in hot pursuit of Janet Reno, who is still in town, and is once again busted by Whipper, when she smells perfume on his wattle finger.
18. The Playing Field
Ally is a passenger in a car accident with the firm's client Greg Butters, a handsome doctor to whom she finds herself attracted. She attempts to handle the doctor's case herself, but finds she just cannot. Ally confides in her "therapist" that she is attracted to the doctor and is enthusiastically encouraged her to use her sex appeal to take the initiative with him. Ally decides the therapist should meet the entire cast of characters in her life and talks her into showing up at the bar after work one night. Fish argues a case of sexual discrimination on behalf of a client who missed a promotion because she didn't sleep with her boss.
19. Happy Birthday, Baby
Ally is in denial about her birthday but her co-workers aren't. Elaine orchestrates a party at the bar and asks Dr. Greg Butters to sing a romantic ballad dedicated to Ally. He does, and knocks the socks off everyone in the room. Renee is especially moved, and jumps up on stage to join him in a seductive duet. Meanwhile, in the courtroom, Ally is forced to take the position for a new client that his foot fetish qualifies him as temporarily insane. Renee, as the opposing district attorney, maintains that sneaking into a would-be date's apartment uninvited to tickle her feet is breaking and entering.
20. The Inmates
A wealthy client is brutally murdered and the wife is implicated. Her only defense when caught red-handed is that she has no recollection of what had taken place. Billy, anxious to take on bigger cases, is the lone voice advocating for the firm taking the criminal case, but Fish and Cage ultimately decide it should be farmed out. Georgia, meanwhile, takes on a case about a heterosexual waiter suing for discrimination and wrongful dismissal when he's fired from his job for not being gay. Renee seduces a fellow attorney.
21. Being There
Cage prepares Ally for Renee's trial. Renee is fast becoming a basket-case because she's convinced Cage's untraditional tactics are going to cost her job. Georgia tells Billy that she took a home pregnancy test, and it came up positive. Ally is of course thrown by the news, but recovers just in time to reclaim Renee's defense. Ally forces Renee to confront her problem with sexual aggressiveness. Ally and Renee have a sleep over and for the first time, Ally appears to be the grown-up in their friendship.
22. Alone Again
John Cage must confront the cowardice of his convictions when he comes face to face with an ex-law school classmate who is coincidentally trying the case he's representing. It becomes obvious to Ally that John is deeply in love with this woman. Cage admits he took the safe way out, protecting the friendship versus risking losing everything if he were to be rejected by her. Ally encourages Cage to tell the woman, Hayley, that he has feelings for her, which he does as part of his closing arguments. Meanwhile, Georgia and Fish take on a case about a jilted bride-to-be who sues for emotional and physical damage. The judge for this case is Whipper Cone, who finds it difficult to hide her bias against her ex-lover, Richard Fish. He takes the opportunity to confront Whipper one more time and tells her that he misses her. Whipper in return, finally smiles, leaving the door open by telling him she'll take it all under advisement.
23. These Are the Days
Cage must represent his second cousin, a harmless but eccentric man with a Cupid Complex. His cousin was brought up on assault charges for swatting couples in the head with a paddle to goose them into realizing they're in love. On the way out of the courthouse, the client swats Ally and Bobby Donnell, who have grown considerably closer over a case they are co-counseling. The matter entails two men who want the court to order/force a hospital to perform a heart-swap surgery. The judge turns the tables on the lawyers and asks Ally to role-play by pretending she's the judge who must render the ruling. Billy and Georgia realize their relationship is in a rut. They resolve to be less predictable, and spontaneously decide to have sex in the conference room. Ally who always seems to be at the wrong place at the wrong time inadvertently walks in on Georgia and Billy.

Ally McBeal 2

Special. Life and Trials of Ally McBeal
Bill Maher hosts a special episode of the show where he interviews the cast after almost two seasons.
24. The Real World
Feeling nervous that the firm is not making enough money, Fish and Cage decide to hire another associate, a "rainmaker" who can bring in lucrative clients. They hire Nelle Porter, an attractive, late 20's litigator from a respectable firm. On her first day, Nelle manages to irritate Ally, Georgia and Elaine, but Fish and Cage seem very pleased with her. Ally defends a woman in her late-30's accused of having sex with a minor. When the boy testifies, Ally finds herself attracted to him.
25. They Eat Horses, Don't They?
Ally is feeling increasingly antipathetic towards Nelle Porter. She thinks Nelle brings out the darker side of the firm. Nelle represents a First Amendment case about a popular radio talk show host, ala Howard Stern, who is accused of inciting a hostile work atmosphere through his vulgar discourse. Nelle triumphs by implying that the talk show host has certain sexual dysfunctions, then promptly drops the case as a legal tactic. Ally becomes disgusted. Cage takes on the case of a restaurant owner being sued by a man claiming intentional infliction of emotional distress for serving horse meat to patrons. During the course of the case, Cage finds it increasingly difficult to do his job due to a preponderance of empathy for the horse in question.
26. Fools Night Out
Nelle is already making her presence felt in the change of office atmosphere when Fish dumps another groundless case on Georgia. Ling Woo, the unpleasant plant manager, is back to sue a nurse in her sister's plastic surgeon's office for misrepresentation of results from breast implant surgery. Georgia would love to drop the case but can't. She confronts Nelle for dumping it on her anyway, but Nelle justifies the reassignment by saying she and Ling are friends and would end up hating each other as a result of the lawsuit. Cage reflects on Ally's progress with a mediation case between Fish's minister and a jilted choir singer. Nelle moves on to Cage and confronts him about his resistance to the notion of a potential interoffice romance.
27. It's My Party
Elaine refers a client, George Madison, to the firm who is suing a prominent feminist magazine for wrongful dismissal. The new editor in chief decided to disqualify him for the job because of his religion's views on women. George is confident in the firm and retains the services of Cage. Ally finds herself unmistakably moved by and attracted to their new client. Elaine lets Ally believe she and George are 'involved' and Ally tries to back off accordingly. Ally tries to keep her fantasies about George under control until she and Renee throw a dinner party and Elaine shows up with George as her date.
28. Story of Love
Ally gets arrested for fighting with Hanna, a distraught young woman who is struggling with her best friend stealing her boyfriend. Ally offers to represent her later in court, only to learn that Hanna has a habit of firing her lawyers. George Madison meanwhile has come back to the firm to get some legal counsel in starting up his own magazine. He hopes Ally will help him, much to Elaine's chagrin. Elaine, desperate to win George over, sits Ally down for a heart to heart talk and asks Ally not to take George away from her. Cage and Nelle have an awkward moment when she insults his pet frog, which is about to compete in a jumping, contest, which Cage is set on winning. Hanna's case goes to the jury after a brief defense by Oren Koolie, who puts in an impassioned appearance.
29. World's Without Love
Renee bumps into an old flame from high school and must decide if she wants to reignite the love of her life that happens to be married. Ally represents a Nun who lost her job because she broke her vows of celibacy. Stefan, the frog, re-appears but nearly dies in the process, leaving Cage sitting vigil over the comatose tree frog.
30. Happy Trails
Ally finally shakes the pesky Wallace. Ling rescues Stefan the frog from a suicide jump only to have him served up as dinner. The gang at the firm mourns the untimely death of Judge Happy Boyle.
31. Just Looking
A group of mothers against pornography is trying to shut down Ling's female mud-wrestling club. Ally gets herself into a strange predicament just before a big date with a handsome former flame of Georgia's. Fish and Cage go undercover at the mud-wrestling club to do 'research' for the case.
32. You Never Can Tell
Renee inadvertently sets Ally up on a dull but persistent blind date. On this blind date, Ally gets her fingers stuck in a bowling ball. Nelle and Cage's first date has disastrous results.
33. Making Spirits Bright
Fish throws his annual Christmas bash as Ally and Billy get drawn into a high stakes case involving a wealthy bond trader claiming wrongful termination. Renee and Matt consummate their affair but with painful consequences. Ling tries out Christmas cheer but it doesn't work. Cage tries to be the aggressor with Nelle with a little help from Ally and some mistletoe.
34. In Dreams
Upon discovering her favorite high school teacher is terminally ill, Ally seeks a court order to allow the women to spend her remaining days in a drug-induced coma, happily dreaming of her imaginary lover. Cage must gather his courage to confront Nelle after Fish tells him she thinks Cage has not had sex with her because he's gay.
35. Love Unlimited
Ally defends a woman coming out of a nine-year marriage whose husband, claiming mental incompetence, wants to have the marriage annulled. Nelle and Cage are having rocky times in their relationship. Ally and Dr. Butters come to a new understanding after he hears her impassioned defense of a client in court.
36. Angels and Blimps
The lawyers are shocked to discover Ling has been keeping a secret. Ally visits Dr. Butters at the hospital one day and sees he's treating a terminally ill little boy. The little boy, Eric Stall, sees Ally in the doorway and finds out that she is a lawyer. He asks if he can retain her services because he wants to sue God. Ally tries to tell him it's not possible, but Ling, who was at the hospital at the same time, overhears and tells the boy not to listen to Ally.
37. Pyramids on the Nile
Fish announces that the most unlikely person has been hired as the firm's latest attorney. Appeals to John Cage go nowhere as he feels he has no choice but to support his partner's decision to hire her. Sun Company, in an attempt to minimize their liability and exposure to potential sexual harassment suits when office romances go bad now require romantically involved employees to notify their supervisor of the relationship and sign a "Love Contract" which holds the company harmless if things don't work out. In the heat of the behind-closed-doors argument, Billy reveals his anger over losing the case has more to do with other feelings
38. Sideshow
When we last saw Ally she was in shock over her encounter with Billy. Ally realizes her life is in crisis and that everything she does from this moment on could mean a lifetime of happiness or bitter disappointment. That's when she makes a decision not to be passive and do something about her life.
39. Sex, Lies and Politics
Ally is guilt ridden by her encounter with Billy. She goes to see Dr. Tracy Clark and discusses subsequent revelations, which surfaced during their session. Ally stresses over her relationship with Georgia. Should she confess all to her or keep her dirty little secret? Everything tells her to hold back, but where will she find comfort and forgiveness? Cage is working on a case in which they represent the plaintiff; a bookstore owner who lost her business after a conservative State Senator running for re-election targets her establishment, as an outlet for pornography.
40. Civil War
Word that Billy and Ally came perilously close to an adulterous affair is spreading through the law firm. What is most uncomfortable are the icy stares and cold shoulders Georgia is throwing Ally's way. But who can blame her? The adversarial relationship between the two women is played out in a most unusual way.
41. Those Lips, That Hand
Cage and Fish's firm gets a capital case to defend a man accused of murdering his comatose wife. He insists he fired up the chainsaw and cut off her hand after she was dead. Renee, who is prosecuting, has the testimony of the coroner who thinks the wife was alive and that the amateur surgery gave her a heart attack. Billy and Georgia continue to patch up their marriage after Billy's indiscretion with Ally. Billy and Georgia are working on a case in which they are representing a man suing to get his job back with and insurance company who fired him over a bad hair day.
42. Let's Dance
Cage continues to ride the high of his birthday gift from Nelle. It was a life changing night and has had a profound effect on his view of himself and his self-esteem in regards to women. The firm is defending another law firm, Johnson Biblico, in a suit alleging sex discrimination. Elaine is distraught that she won't be able to compete in the swing dance competition since her partner pulled his Achilles heel. Her hopes are raised when Ling reveals that she can dance swing and offers to enter with Elaine. Billy and Georgia continue to work on their relationship as part of the aftermath of Billy's almost-affair with Ally. They have started to see a marriage counselor, Dr. Hooper, who thinks it would be a good idea if Ally were to make an appearance.
43. Only the Lonely
In a land where everyone has the opportunity to make a fortune, it seems that now it's Elaine's turn. The members of Fish & Cage congregate at Ally's house for an "infomercial party" that celebrates the marketing of Elaine's "Face Bra". Unfortunately, Elaine's family sues her for royalties claiming that Elaine stole the idea from her cousin Martha just before Martha's untimely death. Ally agrees to represent Elaine but when depositions appear to nail Elaine, Georgia is the first to suggest they settle. Elaine is crushed: first her family turns on her, now her colleagues are ready to abandon her. Billy and Ling are defending a computer software firm on sexual harassment charges emanating from the company's "Day at the Beach" casual days at the office. Even though participation is voluntary, Vicky Sharpe, a slightly overweight employee felt she had no choice but to participate or risk being singled out as a non-participant. John Cage remains a man transformed by his thirty-fifth birthday.
44. The Green Monster
Fish and Cage find themselves representing the soon to be ex-wife of a philanderer who is suing not just for divorce but for property damages as well. The case has loser written all over it and Cage is insisting they settle while Fish is convinced they can win it. Since Ally's indiscretion with Billy, Greg has been ignoring Ally's phone calls and spending more time in the company of other women. Ally feels terrible that a great guy seems to be getting away. Billy does not like the attention that Georgia is enjoying form the other men in the office since she changed her wardrobe appearance.
45. Love's Illusions
Ally is having weird dreams about moments from her childhood, some good, some painful. But each compels her to wrestle with the question of true love. Can it be real or must it inevitably be just an illusion? Ally's latest case is calling the issue into question as she and John Cage are representing a woman charged in Criminal Court with fraud. Barry Philbrick has testified that his wife, Kelly Philbrick married him solely for his money. He claims that at the time of their marriage, she wasn't in love with him, that her wedding vow was a lie and that she admitted it in a letter to a close friend that Barry found. Kelly readily admits to her lack of feelings for Barry: she loved him but she was never in love with him. On the stand Kelly admitted that she had been writing to an imaginary friend: the man of her dreams, who then became the standard by which every real man in her life had to measure up too.
46. I Know Him By Heart
Ally's heart is broken and not by Billy or Greg. It's just one big stress fracture. She's come to the realization that there isn't anyone out there for her. She has her image of the perfect man, but is beginning to believe that he does not exist. Surprisingly, a pep talk from Fish leads Ally to become more proactive about her love life. Working on the, "you have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding Prince Charming theory", Ally decides to go on a dating frenzy. She also decides to go for a total hair and fashion makeover. Nelle is starting to become annoyed with John Cage because he seems to be the only one in the firm who understands Ally's imaginary love life. Nelle is worried that John and Ally feed off each other and now that she and John are a couple, she would really prefer her man to face life head on.

Ally McBeal 3

47. Car Wash
"There are no mistakes in love..." Without ever engaging in conversation, Ally has a steamy fling with a guy who works at the car wash. Back at the office, Fish assigns her to a case in which a big client's daughter, Risa, is trying to save her wedding. Her minister refuses to perform the service (which is two days away) because he walked in on Risa having sex with a man who is not her fiancé, although Risa claims it was just one last fling. Now Risa fears that she will have to tell her fiancé everything. Because of all the female sexual activity in the office, John becomes insecure about his sexual ability. As a result of his insecurities he "loses" the spirit of Barry White. Meanwhile, Renee quits her job to open her own practice. Inspired by Renee's new freedom, Whipper joins the firm as counsel.
48. Buried Pleasures
The men in the office just call her, "The Yummy One..." Ling's curiosity is piqued when she dreams about kissing Ally. Under the pretense of becoming better friends, Ling and Ally go on a "date". Meanwhile, Cage overhears Nelle talking about her fantasy, which sends him back into the depths of sexual insecurity. It seems everyone in the office is pre-occupied with the topic of sex and Billy and Renee feel they are the only people actually working. Renee defends a woman who is accused of sexual harassment by her female co-workers. The co-workers claim that she has turned the office into a sexual arena and is suing. Billy represents the company, but finds that he and Renee do not see eye to eye on the case or on the issue of a woman's sexuality in general.
49. Seeing Green
Ally is plagued with hallucinations of Al Green. She talks about these hallucinations with Dr. Shirley Flott, who is seeing patients while Dr. Tracy is away. Shirley has no patience for Ally's daydreams and wants desperately to put her on Prozac. Wrestling with the idea of going on medication leads Ally to question what is so wrong about hallucinations: they bring her comfort and keep her in perspective? Meanwhile, Nelle and John defend a boy suspended for impulsively kissing one of the most beautiful girls in his class. During all this, Billy has had a series of "off the book" appointments and refuses to tell anyone, including Georgia, where he's going.
50. Heat Wave
"I think I'm gonna love you for a long, long time..." Risa, the bride whose wedding Ally destroyed, decides to sue Ally for intentional infliction of emotional distress. The amount is enough to keep Ally working for Risa for the rest of her life. Ally tries to get Risa's ex-fiancé, Joel, to help her, but he tells her that he really did love Risa and that Ally ruined his life.
51. Troubled Water
"I have sought this, only dreamed thee..." The day before Thanksgiving, Billy goes completely crazy, driving Georgia to kiss "George" in the bar. Ally invites everyone over to her place for a holiday dinner that proves to be explosive, at the very least. Ally cannot take any more of this chaos and makes an emergency appointment with Tracey. Ally's other guests exit her apartment to finish dinner at Fish's place.
52. Changes
Billy and Cage represent sexy, middle-aged women who are suing her employees for sexual harassment. The woman, Robin Jones, claims that the staff of her magazine held a "sick out" and delayed the May publication because they didn't want to work for a "nymph". She was subsequently fired. Cage becomes a bad lawyer and Billy ends up taking him off the case. Meanwhile Richard and Ling officially break up. As they lose their case Billy and Robin argue over his chauvinistic principles, but settle it with a kiss - as Georgia walks in on them.
53. Saving Santa
The first case Georgia brings to Renee's new firm pits them against Cage and Fish. Georgia defends Newman's, an upscale department store against Steve Mallory, who worked as the store's Santa for seventeen years. Cage represents Mallory, who claims that he was wrongfully fired because Newman wants to hire a younger, thinner Santa. Meanwhile, Ally is haunted by visions of herself as a little girl. Ally manages to bring Georgia and Billy together to talk, and Billy sees that he wants Georgia back. But Georgia is not as eager to work things out yet.
54. Blue Christmas
Elaine finds a real, live six-week-old baby in a nativity scene manger and wants to keep him. Cage and Ally represent Elaine in her fight to gain custody, while the rest of the office (full of child-less lawyers) become enchanted with the baby. Even Ling considers having children. Billy attempts to reconcile with Georgia. Meanwhile, Ally and Renee bet $1000 that one can "out-sex" the other by singing suggestive holiday songs on stage at the bar.
55. Out in the Cold
Ally befriends a homeless man who turns out to be a writer doing research on homelessness. They hit it off and just when Ally starts to think the man could be Mr. Right, she is stunned by what she finds about him. Meanwhile, Ling is arrested for running a brothel when one of her escorts has sex with a high school boy. Billy, still on his pro-testosterone kick, hires six of Ling's escorts to follow him around and be his ''assistant.'' to add to the office disruption, Cage and Nelle have a post break-up argument.
56. Just Friends
Ally has a romantic dream about Cage and wakes up thinking that he may be the one for her. When she finally gets up the courage to tell him, he admits that he often thought she might be the one for him also. Meanwhile, Elaine goes on a date with a great guy only to learn that he asked her out because his friend said she was easy.
57. Over the Rainbow
"...And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true."
Georgia sues Cage, Fish and the firm for the destruction of her marriage. She cites many issues as leading to Billy's breakdown and the ultimate dissolution of their marriage.
58. In Search of Pygmies
Ling defends a dear old friend who is asked to leave his retirement home because the director finds his exuberant imagination disruptive for other residents. While Ling tries to decide whether her friend truly believes in his make-believe world or just pretends to, he suffers from a hallucination that has fatal results. Meanwhile, Ally spots a potential cute guy and proceeds to goes after him.
59. Pursuit of Loneliness
Ally is pursued by Hammond, the server at her usual coffee shop, but is turned off by his forwardness. When pressed, she admits that a coffee server is not necessarily that attractive to her. She also learns he owns a chain of coffee joints. Still not impressed, Ally continues to snub Hammond, only to walk into an appeals court and find he is also a presiding judge in her case. When Ally is rude to him in court, Hammond throws her in jail for contempt. When she gets out of jail the two of them get together and kiss. Meanwhile, John begins to worry that Nelle is a snob and Billy finally kisses his assistant Sandy.
60. The Oddball Parade
Cage and Fish represent a group of oddballs who have been fired from their jobs. One client is a transvestite, one has an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and one is obese. Cage begins to take the case personally, considering himself an oddball. Meanwhile, Ally and Elaine enter a dance contest in which the winner gets to perform as one of Tina Turner's back-up singers at the bar. Elaine is devastated because Ally wins the contest. Billy and Ally agree to rekindle their relationship.
61. Prime Suspect
Cage's 'oddball' client (from the previous episode) is accused of murdering his old boss and the firm gets involved in their first murder trial. Ally plays detective and goes snooping when things in the case turn dismal.
62. Boy Next Door
Billy represents a woman in an annulment action case. Her deeply religious husband wants out of the marriage. Meanwhile, John Cage gets trapped in an elevator and must do his work while his legs dangle.
63. I Will Survive
Gloria Gaynor stalks Ally around singing ''I Will Survive.'' Meanwhile, Ally and Ling team up to represent a woman who beat her cheating husband to death with his prosthetic leg. Fish brings in a new lawyer and assigns him to Ally's case.
64. Turning Thirty
The firm defends a woman accused of murdering her eighty-nine-year-old husband by suffocating him...with her breasts. Meanwhile, Ally struggles with turning thirty. She goes to church to find God, but instead finds an angry Reverend Newman who has a pet peeve about women who only need God between relationships. Ally's next stop at a plastic surgeon has even more devastating results.
65. Do You Wanna Dance?
Ally engages in a little virtual sex, with a guy she’s been writing to online for the past few months. At Renee’s prompting, Ally tries to arrange a meeting. Eventually, she does. By this time, Ally, or “Lover Lips” as she calls herself, thinks she’s found her “Thunder Thighs”. Upon seeing Brian, the opposing counsel in a case she and Mark are trying, she immediately is drawn to him. Later, Ally is in hot water when she realizes she's been chatting with underage kid.
66. Hope and Glory
Nelle schemes to leave Cage & Fish in order to start her own firm and it leaves both Richard and John furious. Elaine accepts Nelle's offer to leave the firm and go with her. Ally dates Brian Selig.
67. Ally McBeal: The Musical, Almost
Brian and Ally go to dinner with her parents. A nervous Ally and her hostile father make the dinner dreadful. Not even the entire restaurant engaged in a musical number can help the situation. Elsewhere, Nelle tells her lawyer, Hope, that she thinks she made a mistake leaving the firm and wants to go back. Renee sings the blues at the bar, and all join in. Meanwhile, Hope talks to Fish about Nelle coming back to the firm. He discusses it with John who nixes the idea. Next day, Ally's father visits and tells her she hurt her mother's feelings at the abysmal dinner the night before. Ally blames the situation on her father. They argue and Ally admits she's upset that her father didn't attend Billy's funeral. Ally heads home to meet Brian...

Ally McBeal 4

68. Sex, Lies and Second Thoughts
Brian asks Ally to move in with him, but she questions the entire relationship mostly because their sex life is lackluster. She turns to Renee and a new therapist, who has oddly taken over Tracy's office, for advice. The therapist is weirdly understanding of her problems. She eventually decides to break up with Brian. Then she learns the new therapist isn't really a therapist at all, but a lawyer. Sparks fly between them nonetheless. At the firm, Cage and Fish represent a woman who wants her six-year-marriage annulled because she suspects her husband married her for her money. The woman, who is unattractive, says she and her husband were always great friends and she believed he just had no interest in sex. However, after she catches him cheating on her with a model, she changes her mind about him.
69. Girls' Night Out
Richard and Ling take Cindy McCauliff's case. She was fired for refusing to take a physical, afraid people would find out she's a man. Richard and Ling, although a bit sickened with that, win the case. Cindy meets Mark at the office and they go out. Richard feels Mark has to know the truth, but Cindy says he'll know in the right time. Meanwhile, Ally organizes a models night at the club to attract men. Brian walks into the bar and is hurt by the sight of Ally dancing surrounded by men. He takes the microphone and thanks Ally for moving on so quickly. John and Nelle handle a case about a woman being sued for sexually harassing a man. They're up against Georgia and Renee, and John wins. He sleeps with the client and is a bit disappointed to find out he was a one-time-only thing.
70. Two's a Crowd
Mark's girlfriend finally reveals "her" secret; Ling and Nelle represent a woman suing a relationship guru whose advice ruined the woman's marriage; Ally is dating two different men who end up being related.
71. Without a Net
Ally runs into Kimmie Bishop, an old friend of hers from college. Ally makes fun of her in front of her fellow puritan friends, and Kimmie is so outraged she decides to sue Ally for defamation. Instead of having someone from the office to defend her, Ally hires therapist/lawyer Larry Paul. When Renee tells her he's married, Ally freaks. At the bar, while trying to decide if she would date a father or a son, she sees Larry with Nelle. Turns out he's divorced, and so Larry dumps Nelle to go out with Ally. Meanwhile, Mark is having a hard time at the office because nobody approves his relationship with Cindy, so he breaks up with her.
72. The Last Virgin
Kimmie comes to Cage & Fish looking to hire Ally. She's suing her old firm for wrongful termination. They fired her for being too puritan, and the opposite lawyer is Larry. Now Ally and Larry have to face each other in court. Meanwhile, Ally is nervous about her first kiss with Larry and seeks for advice with Ling, who demonstrate on John how a good kiss should go. This makes Richard insecure of himself, and Nelle tells him to find a theme song for himself. John looses the case to Larry, but he and Kimmie go out on a date.
73. 'Tis the Season
The Christmas season is approaching, and while Ally is thrilled about it, Larry has nothing to celebrate. He confesses to her that he has a 7 year-old son who lives in Detroit with his mother, and ever since they split Larry finds Christmas sad and lonely. Meanwhile, Kimmie insists that John sings at the bar after he lies about his college band, and he doesn't do as bad as everyone thought he would. Elaine is lonely and performs at the bar to regain self esteem. Mark asks her out on a date. John and Ling handle a case about a news anchor who was fired for saying on TV that there's no Santa.
74. Love on Holiday
Elaine gets sued by a former office clerk because she called him "peanut" due his size. John thinks Larry was ridiculing him by making fun of his relationship with Kimmy and her mother. Nelle and Ling compete about who will have the most bids from the charity auction dinner date and Cindy (Mark's ex-girlfriend the transvestite) has plans for Richard for charity auction.
75. The Man with the Bag
John and Nelle defend her father who was fired from his job as a teacher because he claims he's Santa Claus; Ally feels threatened when Larry's ex comes to town; Richard and Ling lip sync at the office Christmas party.
76. Reasons to Believe
"The" Nicholas Engbloom comes to Cage & Fish looking for John to help him with a murder case. Melanie West suffers with Tourette's syndrome and accidentally ran over her boyfriend. She claims to have done it on purpose, only not to be humiliated as she has been her whole life. John convinces her to tell the truth and they win the case. While handling the West case, Nicholas finds himself involved in a divorce case. His wife wants to end their long time marriage because he won't retire and she feels like she can't compete with his work. After his wife almost dies, Nicholas abandons the practice, this time forever. Meanwhile, Richard teaches Mark how to use a "sex song" in order to please Elaine in bed, and John asks Melanie on a date.
77. The Ex-Files
Larry's ex-wife asks him for his permission to take their son to Canada, where she is moving. They argue over why can't one of them move closer to the other so their son can grow with his two parents around. Jamie asks Larry why can't they get back together and Larry says because she's not Ally. They kiss. Larry tells Ally, who overreacts about it until he explains her that Jamie is and will only be the mother of his son. They make up. Meanwhile, Ling's ex-fiancee comes to ask her if they still have a chance, but Ling doesn't want to destroy her girlfriend's happiness. Melanie is fired from her job for scaring the children and John takes it to court.
78. Mr. Bo
Melanie takes John to her tiny apartment (actually it's an old service elevator) and introduces him to Mr. Bo, a homeless man Melanie cares deeply for. Mr. Bo starts to stalk John around and he files a complaint against him. After Melanie convinces him to drop the charges, she reveals that Mr. Bo is in fact her father and John will have to wrestle him in order to go on seeing her. Meanwhile, Richard organizes a twist contest at the bar and while Elaine freaks with the possibility of losing to the babe lawyers, Nelle only enters the contest after Ling introduces her to a very hot twist instructor. And Ally takes a case of a woman who fired her secretary because she was slightly overweight and is shocked when she discovers that Cage & Fish only hire hot female lawyers.
79. Hats Off to Larry
Larry's son flies in from Detroit and goes to Cage & Fish looking for Ally. He wants to sue his parents for emotional damage. Ally and Sam bond, and Larry has to take him back to Detroit. He doesn't want to say goodbye to Ally, who suffers with his departure. Larry promises to return. Meanwhile, Nelle is representing her dance instructor/lover Sam Adams in court. He's suing his ex-partner for stealing his dance moves. Cindy McCauliff returns to the office looking for Richard. (S)He wants to marry a man, but after the court denies it Richard offers to perform the ceremony at the office.
80. Reach Out And Touch
Ally has hallucinations with Barry Manilow. Richard assigns Ling to work with Jackson Duper, the firm's newest lawyer. When they meet, Ling discovers that Jackson slept with her in the past under a fake name. They have to handle a double case of a man who wants his marriage annulled because his wife is a nymphomaniac and cheated on him 106 times and is suing the minister for having a torrid affair with her. Between the unisex bathroom, Elaine's vibra and Melanie's Tourette, Jackson is going crazy with his new job and questions his future in the firm. Meanwhile, John proposes to Melanie. But Melanie doesn't want to be institutionalized (even if that institution is marriage)...
81. Boys Town
Richard and John's relationship grows more tense than ever and so they attend couples therapy; Jackson's presence has a profound impact on Elaine; Jackson represent a woman being sued for firing all her male employees.
82. Falling Up
Jackson and Renee's one night stand turns into something more; Ally visits several therapists to get over her hallucinations of Larry, who eventually appears in the flesh; John represents a man who wants to annul his marriage after his wife decides she doesn't want to have kids, a case that carries over into John's relationship with Melanie.
83. The Getaway
To escape their ruined love lives, Richard and John go for a vacation to Los Angeles. It turns into a working vacation however when John not only must get Richard out of legal trouble but also helps a woman divorcing her wealthy husband who paid someone to seduce her. Meanwhile Richard helps a struggling actress leave her agent who is in fact using her to run an escort service.
84. The Pursuit of Unhappiness
Elaine cheated on Mark and now she's trying by all means to find a way for him to forgive her. She even takes advice from Richard! But in the end she has a serious talk with Mark and she tells him she cheated because he never fully trusted her. They break up. Meanwhile, Jackson is assigned to do the pre-nup for a rich, fat and bald man. Ally puts Larry to defend to soon-to-be wife's interests, which leads into a more personal dissension between Larry and Jackson. And Ling takes the case of a man who's being sued by his own son because a blood clot has left him perpetually happy which is ruining the family business.
85. The Obstacle Course
Cassandra surprises John when she suddenly shows up at the office. She wants to continue the relationship they started in LA, but John doesn't want to go on seeing her, because they're 3.000 miles away and he's not completely over Melanie yet. Ally takes the case of a man who's being sued because he didn't reveal to his internet date that he was a dwarf. Larry is representing the woman suing, and the case ends up reflecting on their own relationship as Ally questions Larry if they would be together if she was 3 feet tall. Ling and Jackson take a case of a woman who's suing her old boyfriend for interrupting her wedding ceremony. Jackson reveals his true feelings towards Ling, who is confused and torn between him and Richard. Caught in the middle of this is Renee, who feels used by Jackson.
86. In Search of Barry White
John loses his ability to channel Barry White while going up against Larry in a case involving a man who wants to clone his late wife; Nelle hooks Elaine into on-line romance; Ling's feelings for Jackson grow more intense.
87. Cloudy Skies, Chance of Parade
Larry defends Sting when a man sues him for breaking up his marriage; a Streisand impersonator sues over his nose job; Richard flirts with Cindy Margolis to make Ling jealous.
88. Queen Bee
Sydney Gale hires Cage & Fish to represent her in court. She's been sued for wrongful termination, and Richard and John take the case. An employee is suing Sydney because he doesn't want to 'serve' her anymore. In her firm, she only hires men who desire her, and thus make the company a lot like a beehive and Sydney their queen. John and Richard are driven crazy with lust, but they win the case. Meanwhile, Reverend Mark Newman is once again having problems concerning Lisa Knowles's performance at church. Now she's musically attacking Rev. Mark's new girlfriend, who's also a member of the choir. After Jackson's strategy fails, it's in Nelle's hand to fix the situation.
89. Home Again
When Larry's surprise engagement plan goes awry he's convinced it's an omen and reassurance from his ex-wie doesn't help, especially when Ally sees them together. Fish flies to LA. to help the aspiring actress, Jane, stop a man's magazine from publishing nude pictures of her.
90. The Wedding
Malcolm Wyatt hires Ally to take his case. He's suing a girl for not going to the prom with him after she said yes in fall. The opposing lawyer is Larry Paul, and Ally is nervous about meeting him in court. But he never shows up, and his partner Coretta tells Ally he left for Detroit. Richard hires Jane Wilco as the office's new secretary, but after she gets the cold shoulder from some people, Richard wonders what ever happened to the friendly workplace he once built. Ally talks to Billy's ghost and decides to go to Malcolm's prom as his date and convinces him to sing solo and never stop believing in love.

Ally McBeal 5

91. Friends and Lovers
On the season premiere of Ally McBeal, Ally finds herself the mentor for young lawyer Jenny, whom she runs into on the street and immediately hires as an associate at Cage and Fish. Neurotic Jenny, fresh from being fired by her old firm, and from heartbreak over a failed relationship, comes face to face with both her firm when she opposes its lawyers in court, and her old boyfriend, when it turns out that he is the other new associate at Cage and Fish. Meanwhile, John Cage misunderstands Ally when he overhears her say she loves him, and sets out to win her heart. He seeks advice from Richard, waxes poetic to Ally, and after those and other attempts backfire, ends the hour with the realization that she does not love him in the way that he had hoped.
92. Judge Ling
Jenny insists that Ally should go out with Glenn, and Ally insists she doesn't have a crush on him. The three are assigned to chair the telemarketing case. They have a very hard time with the main plaintiff, Claire Otoms, a purple-haired, flashy-looking lady who lives in a 'colonial house'. Raymond, knowing that if the judge listens to her he'll rule in his favor, takes the deposition to the court. Claire keeps drifting from the questions, for Ally's desperation. But what appeared to have gone so bad turned out good. Coretta convinces John that he must look good to cause a good impression, and John ends up dressing a fake muscle suit to try to get rid of his weird-women magnetism. Ling and Nelle 'compliment' twin babies on the street. The mother of the babies - the Massachusetts governor - is so flattered by the compliments that she offers Ling a judge position. Overwhelmed, Ling makes a purple robe and starts to give more-than-quick sentences.
93. Neutral Corners
Ally has a dream about Raymond and Glenn. She thinks it's a sign they'll lose the phone company case, and Glenn sees it as a secret attraction of Ally for him. After Raymond makes a 125,000 dollars offer for the phone company case, Ally decides to make an infomercial using Ling's TV show crew and Claire Otoms as the announcer. They threat to run the infomercial nationwide on primetime, and the threat of losing hundreds of millions of dollars scares Raymond's client. Cage & Fish settle for 15 million dollars, the biggest settlement ever, which makes Richard cry of happiness. Meanwhile, Ally is still divided with her feelings for Glenn and if she should date him or not. Glenn says he's not interested in her, and Raymond asks Glenn if he should date Ally. To make things even better, John decides to confess his feelings for Ally and is very disappointed when she says they will never be more than just very good friends.
94. Fear of Flirting
Ally and Glenn continue their flirtation, which leads to their conscious avoidance of each other, which does not go unnoticed by the others at Cage and Fish. She insists he’s too much of a “boy” for her, but continues to be attracted to him. He’s drawn to her because she’s a little older. Both use Jenny’s feelings as an excuse to not date as well. John takes off for parts unknown, which worries the ladies of the firm, especially Nelle. Richard takes it in stride, and takes over John’s abandoned hole off of the unisex. Raymond is sued by a former coworker for sexual harassment, and asks Jenny to represent him...
95. I Want Love
Jenny's mother comes to hire the firm to take her wrongful termination case. She's being fired from her job for dating a 20 year-old. Jenny wants Ally to purposely lose the case but Ally can't do that. The case ends up serving as a mirror to Ally and Glenn's relationship. Ally's closing makes Jenny change her mind and she accepts her soon-to-be step-father. Glenn tries to reach Ally, but Ally, as always, is afraid she's going to end up broken hearted. Meanwhile, Ling looks for more exciting cases for her show and brings an entire orchestra to her court. Richard obsesses with Ms. Shaw's waddle, but Francis shows him he's way out of her league.
96. Lost and Found
John makes a surprise return and is shocked after hearing from Raymond that Richard threw a party in his "hole". After confronting Richard, John gives the office a speech, in which he reveals the reason why and where he left to. Raymond gets Glenn and Ally to double date with him and Jenny. It's Jenny's birthday, and everyone forgets it. Glenn is the only one who didn't get her a present, so he sings a very romantic Elvis song at the bar for her. He asks her back, and she accepts. Ally wonders if she should hook up with John, but the ghost of Larry is still present in her thoughts. Meanwhile, Ling poses nude to boost her TV character; Corretta and Richard find themselves involved in a police investigation on a woman who used to marry rich old men for the money
97. Nine One One
Ally helps a minister who was fired from his church for not believing in God. Ever since his wife was brutally murdered, he has been questioning his beliefs and he asks Ally to talk to his son. Ally is surprised to see Malcolm again and encourages him to sing at his father's service after he is hired back. Meanwhile, John takes a case opposite a mayor who cancelled the Christmas parade of his town due to a disaster in which people died. Very moved, John proves that Christmas is what they need the most in this time of deep grief. Back in the office, Jenny and Elaine confront each other about Elaine's performance with Glenn in the office's Christmas party.

98. Playing with Matches
Jenny's mom's wedding is approaching, and Ally is shocked when Tim gives her a certain look that suggests a move. She talks to Jenny, and they decide to test him. Ally makes a move on him, and he offers her to have an affair. Surprisingly, Jenny's mom is ok with that, which only confuses Ally more. She's been hallucinating with a 7-year-old boy who keeps saying she's killing him. The boy is a version of Ally from when she believed in love (a conclusion made by Richard), before Billy died and Larry left. Meanwhile, John and Coretta help Kimmie Bishop, who's back suing a matchmaker for saying she's "unmatchable".
99. Blowin' in the Wind
Ally impulsively buys a house, to which Dr. Milter concludes is a way of her to take care of herself, since Ally sees herself as a 'work in progress'. Richard gets the others to help paint the house as a surprise for Ally, who hires the handyman Victor to fix the house for her. Meanwhile, Ally handles a case of a man who spent too much money buying gifts for his wife until they went bankrupt. And Jenny has some back problems, to which Coretta recommends a chiropractor who has a special chair. Glenn gets extremely jealous that a chair is giving Jenny more pleasure than him, while Nelle tests the chair.
100. One Hundred Tears
Ally defends a man who broke into his old house to jump out of his old bedroom window. Harvey Hall believes he can fly using wings he made himself. The house owner allows him to jump from the roof, and Harvey accomplishes his life long dream of flying, at the cost of his own life. Meanwhile, Harriet Pumple tries to find a match for Elaine, Coretta, Richard and John. She matches Elaine with Victor, who would have dumped her if it wasn't for Ally asking him not to. But Harriet can't find a match for John, so the entire office sings "we have to get you a woman" for him. John is profoundly insulted.
101. A Kick in the Head
10 year-old Maddie Harrington shows up on Ally's door saying she's her daughter. She's the result of a mixup on the egg bank Ally deposited her eggs ten years ago. Since Maddie's father died six months ago, she's been living with her aunt, who sings TV themes on nightclubs for a living. After a lot of talking, Maddie decides to stay in Boston with Ally on a trial basis until they resolve where she will stay. Meanwhile, Richard takes the case of a man who killed his wife after kicking her in the head when he mistook her for a soccer ball. John doesn't think he'll be able to win the case because he can't litigate, but Richard surprises him when he wins.
102. The New Day
Maddie keeps testing Ally for her patience and love, something that doesn't go through Ally's mind until Victor points it out. Ally, on the other hand, is being way too protective on Maddie, confronting her school principal, teacher and classmates. She decides to hire a nanny, but can't find one that is fits her standards (liking Moulin Rouge, for example), so she ends up hiring Victor, who has developed a very good bond with Maddie. As if she didn't have enough going on in her life, Ally is offered partnership on the firm now that John is gone. After a lot of consideration, Richard decided to ask her and change the firm's name from Cage & Fish to Fish & McBeal, which upsets Nelle, who thinks she should be the next partner, not Ally. After going through the firm's books, Ally discovers that they're losing money and have to fire someone to avoid problems. Since neither Richard nor John had the guts to fire anyone, Ally decides to do so. Meanwhile, Coretta and Raymond face each other in court on a case about a lawyer who was fired because she was dying from AIDS. The case deepens when her employee reveals that his own son died of AIDS and he's only trying to avoid the other partners from further suffering since two of his lawyers died on September 11th.
103. Woman
Ally decided that in order for the firm to get out of the financial crisis it's going through, someone will have to be let go. She chooses Jenny, who between all the lawyers of the firm had the least number of clients and experience. Glenn takes Jenny's dismissal offensively and decides to quit, taking all his clients with him. Ally accepts his resignation, but Victor convinces her to hire him back since the firm can't afford to lose any clients. Glenn and Jenny decide to start a new firm together and leave Cage, Fish & McBeal once and for all. Now the other lawyers will have to do extra work to make up for the loss. Among the changes Ally is making on the firm, she wants Nelle to be nicer and asks her to perform at the bar, something she has never done before. Afraid of embarrassing herself, Nelle goes to Ling for help. They decide to have backing vocals, a plan that backfires when the singer who was going to dub Nelle suddenly loses her voice and Elaine has Claire Otoms to replace her. That's right. Claire Otoms is back. This time she wants legal representation because she was fired for sexual harassment from her firm. As the case goes on, Richard starts to see the inner beauty of Claire and decides to hire her as an office assistant. Meanwhile, Ally also has problems at home when Maddie starts asking questions about sex and insists she and Victor demonstrate her what a french kiss is.
104. Homecoming
Ally decides to take the DNA test after having recurring dreams where Maddie's real parents show up claiming her. Maddie doesn't take that well and escapes to NY to see her aunt Bonnie. Maddie thinks the test is just Ally's way of having an excuse not to love her, but Ally only wants a proof that Maddie is her daughter so no one can take her away from her. The test comes out positive, and they both cry. Meanwhile, a demented woman shows up at Ally's door looking for Vincent, the love of her life who owned the house before Ally bought it. She thinks Victor is Vincent, and he plays along. She has a stroke and dies, and Victor suffers from it even though he only met her for less than a day. Ally also offers Raymond a job at the firm, which he takes. And Claire decides to help Richard reunite with his high school crush, but she had a sex change operation and is now a man, something that shocks Richard deeply.
105. Heart and Soul
Richard and Raymond are hired to represent Serena Feldman, a 16 year-old girl who will die unless Judge Hall consents her a heart transplant from her convicted father, who is the her only match. Serena's aunt is against the transplant because Serena's dad murdered her mother , and Claire interferes with both her and the judge in order to help save Serena. The case is tough, and afraid his daughter will die after Judge Hall denies the transplant, Serena's father escapes and kills himself. Meanwhile, Maddie is caught smoking and reveals to Victor that she wanted to be suspended to avoid father-daughter day at school. She questions Ally why she and Victor can't be together, and Victor overhears Ally telling Maddie that they come from different worlds. Angry at Ally for being elitist, Victor quits, but Ally goes after him to ask him on a date. In the last minute she freaks out, and Victor is called in for help. Ally is still in love with Larry and thus can't date Victor.
106. Love Is All Around (1)
Ally is about to go on her 3rd date, a.k.a. the "sex date", with Victor. Everybody knows about it, but Ally is nervous because on the 2nd date the tension was so high they couldn't even kiss. Meanwhile, Ally is interviewing for new hires, and meets with big shot attorney Todd Merrick, who gets on her nerves. Ally questions if she's dating Victor to fit hers or Maddie's demands. They finally go out, and when they come home they find Maddie's nanny dead in front of the TV, ruining the rest of the date. At the firm, Richard assigns Nelle to a very important case opposite court devil Liza "Lolita" Bump, a bitchy, young and feared attorney. So feared that Richard has to get John Cage for the case. He's been working at a Mexican restaurant as a mariachi player, and is quickly intimidated by Lisa's actions on and off court. She keeps trying to seduce John in order to settle the wrongful dismissal case, and John feels he must bring "The Biscuit" back to defeat her once and for all. Meanwhile, Claire announces she's getting married, and Coretta suggests she signs a pre-nup. Lisa meets her fiancée and decides to represent him in court.
107. Love Is All Around (2)
The judge forbids the lawyers to interfere on Claire's engagement, and her fiancée decides to call the wedding off. Devastated, Claire goes to Ally for help. Ally is still shaken with the memory of Larry, and isn't sure of her feelings for Victor anymore. In the middle of that there's Todd, whom Ally turned down as an attorney, but who asked her out on a date. He gets on her nerves and they fight a lot. On their date, Ally confronts Victor and tries to pick a fight with him. John and Nelle try to settle upon their imminent lost in court, but Liza has now lowered her offer. John is furious and decides to take her down.
108. Tom Dooley
Ally is going to the Bermudas with Victor, and welcomes Liza as the firm's newest attorney. Nelle doesn't like that or the fact that she took John's office. Despite being her first day, Liza hires another lawyer, Wilson Jade, whom she was going to partner with on her own practice, hadn't she joined Cage, Fish & McBeal. Nelle and Wilson represent a woman who's suing her husband for sexual harassment, while John and Liza represent Nicole Naples, a woman who's legally married to two different men. Liza and John develop a great chemistry in court, and save Nicole from going to jail. John almost falls in love with Nicole, who's also interested in singing the mariachi with him. And back at the office, Claire is hot for Wilson, who makes an excellent settlement on the case with the help of Nelle (or should we call her Morgan, her real name, which was discovered by Liza – who's actually Debbie!)
109. Another One Bites The Dust
Ally and Victor return from their Bermuda trip. Ally feels their relationship is in crisis because they weren't able to connect without Maddie around. Victor is being sued by his former girlfriend for breach of contract. Ally discovers that Victor is a painter and never told her. She's angry, but not as angry as when she sees his painting of her with cellulite. Nelle and Wilson team up against a woman who was blackmailing their client in order not to come public with a tape of their lovemaking. Richard obsesses over Liza and has Claire do the talking for him through a hearing device, afraid she's going to turn him down – and even more afraid she'll say yes to him.
110. What I'll Never Do for Love Again
Elaine auditions for "A Chorus Line", but doesn't get a call back. She accidentally bumps into the casting director, whom she finds attractive and nice. They go out for dinner and end up having sex. The next morning at work Elaine feels horrible for not giving her full self at the audition and Nelle tries to comfort her. Richard's father seeks for his help. He's being sued by his former secretary for sexual harassment. He fired her because he was falling in love with her, which damages his 40 yearlong marriage.
111. All of Me
The lawyers at Cage, Fish & McBeal split when both personalities of the same woman hires them to represent each in court. One of her personalities is a strong, decided and bitchy woman that goes by Helena Green. She wants to divorce her husband, who years ago married sweet, warm hearted but weak Helen Green. Helena has Liza and Richard on her side – a couple who is struggling with the imminent commitment – while Helen hires Ally and John – who but those two could represent a suppressed personality of a woman who has love as her life incentive?
112. Bygones
After Maddie passes out, Ally finds out she is suffering from a nervous reaction to all the changes in her life, so Ally decides that the only way she can help her daughter is to move back to New York. While the news come as a big shock to the firm, Richard anticipates his wedding with Liza so Ally can attend the ceremony. While spending her last hours in the town, Ally gets a visit from Renee, Georgia and afterwards, Billy as a ghost.

Quotes-Ally McBeal

Ally McBeal: There's no sin in loving men. Only pain!

Ally McBeal: We're not only wired to want what we can't have, but we're also wired to want what we really don't want.

Ally McBeal: You only die once!

Ally McBeal: When guys are persistent, it's romantic, they make movies about that. If it's a woman, then they cast Glenn Close.

Billy: Why do therapists always have to talk about sex?
Dr. Hooper: What can I say, Freud was a perv.

Ally McBeal: Law and love are the same - romantic in concept but the actual practice can give you a yeast infection.

Ally McBeal: I'm trying to desensitize myself to murder so I can be a better lawyer.
Billy: Why don't you just watch the news?

John "The Biscuit" Cage: Let's not forget that Lizzie Borden was found innocent of killing her parents.
Richard Fish: Oh, she did it; the jury just took pity on her for being an orphan.
Ally McBeal: I like being a mess. It's who I am.

Richard Fish: You're not who you are, you're only what other people think you are. Fishism.

[a judge has just denied his motion]
Richard Fish: Let the record show: dammit.

Nelle Porter: You having fun with this case?
Ling Woo: It's okay. I prefer being a plaintiff, but a defendant's nice too. I get a martyr glow.
Ally McBeal: I've been dumped before, Renee. This isn't pain I'm feeling, it's nostalgia.

Judge Jennifer "Whipper" Cone: No, I don't think you're nuts, but I don't think that you have both feet on the ground either.
Ally McBeal: You mean some people do?

Renée Radick: People think you're strange, you know. Just, just sit there and don't talk.
John "The Biscuit" Cage: I am an enigma.
Renée Radick: You're a cute little enigma.

Renée Radick: Well, don't get me wrong, Ally...
Ally McBeal: Why does everyone say that to me? Do I get everything wrong?
Renée Radick: No, it's just that what I am about to say may sound like an insult, so I want to buffer it.
Ally McBeal: Oh, okay.
Renée Radick: Emotionally, you're an idiot.

Ally McBeal: I mean, with all due respect, you sort of walk around with uppity breasts, and the hair flips aren't the most subtle. And your perfume - you could be flammable. Now what if somebody shut you down as a safety hazard, how would you feel then?
Elaine Vassal: That was with all due respect?

Elaine Vassal: A lot of people forget what they're saying in a fit of rage, so I'll be happy to take the minutes.
Elaine Vassal: Ally's depressed about her birthday. I know, I've been listening in on her phone calls.

Elaine Vassal: I'd call her a tramp, were I one to judge.
Ally McBeal: Yes, were you one.

Elaine Vassal: Sometimes she just *looks* snappish.

Elaine Vassal: Snappish!

[about Santa Claus]
John "The Biscuit" Cage: A fat man, trying to squeeze through a narrow chimney, and I taunt him with Oreos and whole milk.

[Ally's psychiatrist plays a tape of people laughing]
Dr. Tracy Clark: Sometimes when a patient says something so competely naive, I find that my own laughter just isn't enough.

Elaine Vassal: She's two-thirds of a Rice Krispie treat. She's already snapped, and crackled, and she's ready for the final pop.
Richard Fish: Is that the two cents? I'd be looking for change.

Georgia Thomas: Well, by all means let's hear your opinion, Richard.
Richard Fish: Simple. Men and women. Friction.
Georgia Thomas: That's it? Friction?
Richard Fish: Friction, friction, friction, orgasm. Fishism. Are we going to dance or not?
Ally McBeal: Even if I did get past all my problems, I'm just gonna get out and get new ones.

Ally McBeal: Remember, when you're with me, it's the only time you're not the strangest person in the room. So go ahead, get weird with me.

Elaine Vassal: In a pinch, I sometimes allude to not wearing any underwear.
Ally McBeal: I won't be in that pinch.

Georgia Thomas: Ally, what makes your problems so much bigger than everybody else's?
Ally McBeal: They're mine.

Ally McBeal: We're women. We have a double standard to live up to.

Rabbi Stern: Are you always such a bitchy little thing?
Ally McBeal: Bitchy?
Rabbi Stern: Coming in here, insulting the Talmud, insulting me!
Ally McBeal: What kind of rabbi calls somebody bitchy?
Rabbi Stern: I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Ally McBeal: 'Cause I'm bitchy? God has no love for the bitchy?
Rabbi Stern: Get out.

Ally McBeal: I am good in bed, Renee.
[Renee laughs]
Ally McBeal: What?
Renée Radick: Ally, I'm your roommate. We have thin walls, and you...
[Renee imitates small whining noises]
Ally McBeal: I don't sound like that.
Renée Radick: I make more noise breaking in a new shoe.
Ally McBeal: So how has it come to this? We're smart women, we're fairly attractive...
Renée Radick: I'm even hot.

Richard Fish: She told her that you told her about what she told you. I'm in the middle and clueless. I feel like Elaine.

Elaine Vassal: I'm sure she's quite stupid, and in time, gravity will get her.

John "The Biscuit" Cage: The world is no longer a romantic place. Some of its people still are however, and therein lies the promise. Don't let the world win, Ally McBeal.

Greg: You kicked him?
Ally McBeal: I didn't know he was real; I thought he was pretend.
Greg: You only kick pretend people?
Ally McBeal: [pause] Yes.
Elaine Vassal: That was a snappish remark disguised in a soft tone.

Ally McBeal: Maybe I'm happy and I just don't know it.

Ally McBeal: The real truth is, I probably don't want to be too happy or content. Because, then what? I actually like the quest, the search. That's the fun. The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to. What do you know? I'm having a great time and I don't even know it.

Ally McBeal: You loved me.
Billy: Yeah. That's the truth. So much that sometimes, when we were apart, we used to keep an open phone line at night so while sleeping I could listen to your breath.

Richard Fish: "Problem" is just a bleak word for challenge.
Ally McBeal: Sometimes... there's no point in the truth if the only thing it will do is cause pain.

Ally McBeal: The idea that when people come together, they stay together. I have to take that with me when I'm going to bed at night, Even if I'm going to bed alone.

Ally McBeal: Men are like gum anyway - after you chew they lose their flavor.

Richard Fish: Everybody's alone. It's just easier to take in a relationship.
Richard Fish: Helping others is never more rewarding than when it's in your own self interest.

Richard Fish: Let me tell you something. I didn't become a lawyer because I like the law; the law sucks. It's boring, but it can also be used as a weapon. You want to bankrupt somebody? Cost him everything he's worked for? Make his wife leave him, even make his kids cry? Yeah, we can do that.

Ally McBeal: Sometimes I'm more persuasive when I lack conviction.

Ally McBeal: Uh, let the record reflect that the deponent is a fat, arrogant, overweight, bald pig.

Richard Fish: Make enough money, and everything else will follow. Quote me. That's a Fishism.
Elaine Vassal: Oh, forgive my bluntness. It's a device I use to cope.

Ally McBeal: Whenever I get depressed, I raise my hemlines. If things don't change, I am bound to be arrested.

Richard Fish: You know, I had a great aunt once who said if you stare at a beautiful woman too long, you turn to stone. She was partially right.

Ally McBeal: [about Billy] He wants to have his cake and not eat me.

Ally McBeal: A thigh seemed innocent as parts go.

Ally McBeal: Hi! I'm Ally McBeal, homewrecker. Here's my card.
Georgia Thomas: I already have it, thanks.

Ling Woo: I am really a very funny person.

Dr. Tracy Clark: You kissed him? You're a slut!
Ally McBeal: I... I am not! I am not a slut!
Dr. Tracy Clark: Oh, come on! Don't fool yourself!
Ling Woo: It's a problem being beautiful. It's only the handsome men that ask us out because they're the only ones who think they have a chance. And handsome men are dolts. Life is unfair to us. At some point we have to face the certain reality: despite all the good the world seems to offer, true happiness can only be found in one thing - shopping.

[on Elaine]
Ling Woo: This woman drips with sarcasm at my personal expense.
Nelle Porter: Ling, one of the disadvantages of having magnetism is that you bring people out, people that otherwise would go unnoticed. The fact that she can be so annoying is really a tribute to you!

Ling Woo: Nelle is like a sister; when she's in pain, I throw up!

John "The Biscuit" Cage: [to Nelle] I'd sooner puke my intestines and snorkel in them than see you naked.

Ling Woo: I'm rich. I only go into work to wear my outfits!
John "The Biscuit" Cage: I'm not going through an odd phase, I really am odd.

Ally McBeal: Wow... I have a boyfriend.

[Watches Nelle Porter unpin her bun and shake out her long, beautiful blonde hair]
Ally McBeal: It's official: I HATE her!

Ally McBeal: Love isn't always enough.
Larry: Yeah, it is. You go without it long enough and you realize it's everything.
Renée Radick: A penis is not a share toy.

Ally McBeal: Here I am, the victim of my own choices. And I'm just starting.

Georgia Thomas: At the end of the day, life is just this big wall of reality that we all crash into.

John "The Biscuit" Cage: Have no fear, Nelle, that girl is a bagel!
Nelle Porter: Bagel?
John "The Biscuit" Cage: [pauses] I meant to say 'toast.'

Ally McBeal: Maybe I'll share my life with somebody... maybe not. But the truth is, when I think back of my loneliest moments, there was usually somebody sitting there next to me.

Ling Woo: So Jackson Duper, you don't tell a woman your real name?
Jackson Duper: Hey, for all I knew...
Ling Woo: You knew me well enough to go to bed with me.
Jackson Duper: Look...
Ling Woo: Why the alias? You wanted?
Jackson Duper: No.
Ling Woo: Certainly not by me.
Jackson Duper: Excellent. Do I get to talk?
Ling Woo: Fine. Quick, think up something.
Jackson Duper: Look...
Ling Woo: We're back to look.
Jackson Duper: Hey...
Ling Woo: We're back to hey.
Jackson Duper: Ling...
Ling Woo: How do you know my real name? Oh that's right, I *gave* it to you. What an odd thing to do.
[Ally is outraged when Ling convinces a dying boy that he could sue God]
Ling Woo: Do you know how his father died?
Ally McBeal: No. Do you?
Ling Woo: Yes, I overheard the nurses talking. He was crushed by a tree that was struck by lightning. THAT was an act of God, so we go after the Church, HOUSE of God. I need to pee.
[exits]
Ally McBeal: Where does she come up with these things?
Nelle Porter: Well, Ling wasn't editor of law review for nothing.
Ally McBeal: Ling went to Law School? Ling is a LAWYER?

Liza Bump: [to Nelle Porter] Do you talk, or do I have to pull a string?

Richard Fish: [defending a client for attempted murder] Adrenaline can be like a drug, can't it, Dr. Burns? Ever know adrenaline to work on the brain like a drug?
Dr. Burns: Certainly, but...
Richard Fish: Thank you. And in your career as a doctor, have you ever been - um, how do I say this - uh, wrong?
Dr. Burns: Wrong?
Richard Fish: Yes. In all your years and many diagnoses, have you ever been wrong?
Dr. Burns: Of course, but... I'm *not* wrong *here*.
Richard Fish: You're a doctor who's been wrong, right?
Dr. Burns: I am not wrong *here*.
Richard Fish: But you've been wrong, yes or no?
Dr. Burns: I already said yes, I have been wrong on some occasions.
Richard Fish: And on those occasions when you've been wrong, did you know it at the time?
Dr. Burns: [long pause] No.
Cindy McCauliff: My penis makes you nervous.

Judge Dennis 'Happy' Boyle: Members of the jury, our witness has a small piece of spinach caught in an incisor. Now, when oral decay starts to build up between the tooth and the gum, bacteria starts to build colonies. Even the most nutritious vegetable can turn into Vietnam.

[Ally, Georgia, and Billy arguing with Richard]
Richard Fish: Hold on! Quiet! Let me ignore you one at a time.

Ally McBeal: [on her wardrobe] Men are constantly trying to mentally un-dress me. I'm just trying to save them some time, that's all.

Richard Fish: John? John, y- you got the biggest booger. Oh, sorry, it's a frog. Bygones.

John "The Biscuit" Cage: Men lie to get women into bed. Women lie to get men into matrimony. Those are the simple facts of life.
[explaining his remote control toilet flusher]
John "The Biscuit" Cage: Sometimes people leave in haste, forget to flush. Other times, there are residual remnants. I like a fresh bowl.
John "The Biscuit" Cage: My regularity's easily thrown. Unclean bowls... trouble me.
John "The Biscuit" Cage: I like a fresh bowl and remnants upset me.

John "The Biscuit" Cage: Love. We all want it. Don't all get it. I remember telling my mother in high school I wanted to wait for the perfect girl. And she replied, "Idiot! Even if you found her, she might be holding out for the perfect man." She also said I wouldn't recognize love unless it bonked me on the head. And I retorted, "Well, why don't you come along with me, mom, and if you see love, you hit me on the head so I'll know." It was difficult as a young man taking my mother on dates. And then, one night, not a date night, but just one evening, I turned to my mom and, as i looked into her eyes, I could see... she was dead. She'd passed on quietly from an aneurysm, right there at the table. All she said was, "Ip." Sitting in a chair: a quiet little "Ip". It was her request to have her last words put on her tombstone. And I see people at the cemetery snickering when they read: "Joanna Cage. Beloved Mother. Ip." I miss my mother. Even though she's not here... I know she's still with me, smiling down on me... hoping I'll find love.
Renée Radick: Snow White. Cinderella. All about gettin' a guy. Being saved by the guy. Today it's the Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Pocahontas. All about gettin' a guy.
Ally McBeal: So basically we're screwed up because of...
Renée Radick: Disney.

[catch-phrases]
John "The Biscuit" Cage: I'm fraught.
John "The Biscuit" Cage: I need to take a moment.
John "The Biscuit" Cage: Unacceptable!
John "The Biscuit" Cage: Repugnant!
John "The Biscuit" Cage: Balls!
John "The Biscuit" Cage: That disparaged me.
John "The Biscuit" Cage: I will not stand to be disparaged.
John "The Biscuit" Cage: I'm troubled.
John "The Biscuit" Cage: I'm drawn to her.

[catch-phrases]
Richard Fish: Bygones.
Richard Fish: Fishism.
Richard Fish: Vulgarism.
Richard Fish: Bugger.
Richard Fish: Ouch!
Richard Fish: Kidding.
Richard Fish: No biggie.

Raymond Millbury: [to Elaine] You're cute, in a slutty way.

Billy: Will you ever forgive my letting go?
Ally McBeal: I'll forgive it. But I'm still not sure I'll ever understand it.

Richard Fish: There's no rule that says you have to wake up.
Ally McBeal: Sometimes... when you hold out for everything, you walk away with nothing.

Ally McBeal: I can't believe my life. One minute it's going okay, I mean... as okay as my life can get, then the gong knocks me completely off my feet.

Ally McBeal: Looking backwards, many of the saddest times in my life turn out to be the happiest. So I must be happy now. Yeah. This is gonna be good. Why else would I be crying?

Ally McBeal: You've seen me dance. Now watch me fornicate.