Quotes Of Battlestar Galactica

President Laura Roslin: [about Commander Adama] Maybe if he's more comfortable he'll be a little easier to deal with.
Billy Keikeya: That's smart.
President Laura Roslin: No, it's not smart. It's politics.
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Commander William Adama: There's a reason you separate military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people.
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Col. Saul Tigh: Where's your mommy?
Boxey: Dead. Where's yours?
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Admiral Helena Cain: [Cain comes to the cell of Number Six/Gina, the tortured Cylon POW who is collapsed in a heap on the floor] Well, I see that you got it to eat. That's progress, I suppose. Can you get it to roll over... beg? See what it can make of these.
[hands Baltar some recon photos]
Admiral Helena Cain: You know this thing used to sit in our mess and eat our food, and listen to our stories. Didn't you? You just sat there... listening to us, pretending to be our friend, didn't you?
[Cain kicks Gina in the ribs]
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Commander William Adama: [President Roslin is bedridden, dying of cancer, and coughing profusely] What can I get you?
President Laura Roslin: [sarcastically] A new body. Perhaps, one of those young Cylon models from the Resurrection Ship.
Commander William Adama: I can't see you as a blonde.
President Laura Roslin: You'd be surprised.
[laughs]
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President Laura Roslin: [talking about Baltar] He's an odd one, isn't he?
Billy Keikeya: [in falsetto] Cuckoo...
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Petty Officer 2nd Dualla: [after being taken hostage while trying to negotiate with prisoners] I don't even know how I came into this detail.
Billy Keikeya: The president thought you might be valuable.
Petty Officer 2nd Dualla: The president doesn't know who I am.
Billy Keikeya: I told her. Sorry.
Petty Officer 2nd Dualla: [sarcastically] On the other hand, it is nice to get out of the CIC. Break up the day, move around, meet new people.
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Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: [Starbuck's filling in for Apollo at the squadron briefing] Now, one of you has been coming in a little hot lately, a little too hot, a little, um - oh I don't know, he's-burning-up-the-deck-with-his-skids-because-he-just-can't-pull-back-on-the-throttle hot. Now who is this speed demon, my prince?
Boxey: Flat Top, sir!
[the squadron catcalls]
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Flat Top, you got a need for speed, do ya? Just can't wait to get back to the Big G and the loving embrace of your fellow pilots? Or maybe you have a hot date with your right hand?
[more catcalls]
Ryan 'Flat Top' Cisco: Hey, it never gets a headache!
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Tell you what, Flat Top: you come in too hot today and you may have to start using your left. Okay, you've been fun, you've been a great audience, dismissed!
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Racetrack: Been playing with these cards for so long, I know every fold.
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: So life's a bitch. What do you want to do, cry about it?
Racetrack: No, I just want it to end, okay? The bad food, the endless rotations, pretending that a card game is the high point of our day.
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: It's not going to last forever, all right? Earth is out there.
Racetrack: Right. We could all be chasing our tails over some half-assed planetarium show.
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: And you guys can all go to hell. I'm going to go find Helo.
Racetrack: Good idea... maybe that Cylon whore taught him a few tricks!
[Starbuck calmly turns around, walks over to Racetrack, then violently grabs Racetrack by the neck and slams her head into the card table]
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Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: I thought we were sparring.
Commander William Adama: That's why you don't win.
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Doctor Gaius Baltar: Lieutenant Thrace! Good to see you!
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Good to see you too!
Doctor Gaius Baltar: Really?
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: No!
Number Six: Oh!
Doctor Gaius Baltar: I wonder if she's a real blonde.
Number Six: I doubt it.
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Number Six: We're the children of humanity. That makes them our parents in a sense.
Aaron Doral: True, but parents have to die. It's the only way children can come into their own.
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Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: [to a new group of recruits] Attention on deck.
[None of them move]
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: That means on your feet, nuggets!
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Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: I have my flaws, too.
Col. Saul Tigh: The difference is my flaws are personal. Yours are professional.
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Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: [after Starbuck has to plan a vital mission] I never wanted this kind of responsibility.
Commander William Adama: The Cylons never asked us what we wanted. Welcome to the big leagues.
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Doctor Gaius Baltar: [after finding out that he's being forced into becoming a politician while testing blood samples] Politics is the only thing more boring than blood samples.
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Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: So... um... that bum knee of yours is looking pretty good. And the other one's not too bad either.
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Lee, if you want to ask me to dance, just ask.
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: You want to dance?
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Me in a dress is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
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Commander William Adama: I gave the order, Son. It was my responsibility.
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: I pulled the trigger. That's mine.
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Doctor Gaius Baltar: You'll forgive me, Madam President, if I don't wish to be executed based solely on your... gut feeling.
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Doctor Gaius Baltar: [after Baltar walks in on Boomer trying to commit suicide] Sometimes we must embrace that which opens up to us.
Lt. Sharon 'Boomer' Valerii: Embrace?
Doctor Gaius Baltar: Life can be a curse, as well as a blessing. You will believe me when I say that there are far worse things than death in this world.
Lt. Sharon 'Boomer' Valerii: So what you're saying is...
Doctor Gaius Baltar: No, no. What I'm saying means nothing. Listen to your heart. Do that which you truly believe to be right.
[he kisses her on the forehead and walks out of the room, while he's walking down the hall he hears a gun fire]
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Number Six: [ominously] God has a plan, Gaius. He has a plan for everything, and everyone.
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Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: [before hitting an assailant over the head with a beer bottle] Were you looking for *this*?
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Number Six: Life has a melody, Gaius. A rhythm of notes which become your existence once played in harmony with God's plan.
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[when Starbuck has landed in the Cylon ship]
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: Boy, when you take a souvenir, you don't screw around.
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Doctor Gaius Baltar: All right, that's it! No more Mr. Nice Gaius!
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Crewman Specialist Cally: [analyzing the bio-mechanical Cylon Raider captured by Starbuck, Tyrol crawls inside the Raider with a flashlight while Cally reads him Starbuck's notes] Starbuck's notes on the Cylon Raider are a mess! She said the engine power-up sequence began...”By squeezing something that looks like a red ligament with blue veins on the right side... coming out of a sack of gooey fluid... shaped like a dog".
Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Are you kidding me? This whole thing is a bunch of veins and ligaments and sacks of goo!
Crewman Specialist Cally: "... Squeeze the ligament with your hand, while you slide your weight on your left hip, into the lymphatic sack...”
Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Well, that's just stupid!
Crewman Specialist Cally: [Col. Tigh arrives] Oh, afternoon sir.
Col. Saul Tigh: Specialist. Chief's inside?
Crewman Specialist Cally: Yeah.
Col. Saul Tigh: Chief?
Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Yes, sir?
Col. Saul Tigh: How's it coming in there?
Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Ah, I'm getting there, sir. Haven't quite figured out all the tricks but I'm getting there.
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[repeated line, which a Six copy asks whenever it meets a human for the first time]
Number Six: Are you alive?
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Ellen Tigh: So, you worried about Wallace Grey? I hear he's ahead in the vote count.
Tom Zarek: Whatever the people want is fine by me.
Ellen Tigh: Everyone has an agenda. I know I do.
Tom Zarek: And what would that be?
Ellen Tigh: Same as yours, Tom. Me, myself, and... ooh. I.
Tom Zarek: You are... clearly a well-connected, well-informed woman.
Ellen Tigh: Wife of the XO, for whatever that's worth.
Tom Zarek: Ah. Quite a bit. Now, and in the future.
Ellen Tigh: That's what I'm interested in, Tom. It's my place, and my... husband's place in the future.
Tom Zarek: Okay. I'm looking for a friend of mine. His name is Valence.
[scene immediately cuts to Valence dead in his cell in the brig with his wrists cut]
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Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: [Socinus has been mortally injured and Tyrol has to euthanize him with an overdose of morphine] Hey, buddy. It's the Chief. How you doing?
Crewman Specialist Socinus: [wheezing] What's going on Chief?
Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Oh, you know... listening to the birds. I uh... I got a little something for the pain...
[injects Socinus with the morphine overdose]
Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Good news, buddy. They got a rescue party here. Raptor's just landed. We're going to put you on it and take you back to Galactica, okay?
Crewman Specialist Socinus: We're going home?
Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Yeah. Going home.
[tears well up in his eyes]
Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: [Socinus dies]
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Col. Saul Tigh: I can't believe you sided with that woman against the Old Man, I wouldn't do that if you put a gun to my head, and you did! As far as I'm concerned you're not fit to wear the uniform.
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: Yeah, you're right about that part, I am not fit to wear the uniform.
[pause]
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: And maybe I never was. Then again neither are you.
[turns to Tigh]
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: But this isn't my ship, it sure as hell isn't yours. It's his, and when he wakes up, he'll decide what to do with the both of us.
[leaves sickbay to return to his cell]
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Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: [reacts to a joke] That was weak! So very, very weak!
Samuel T. Anders: [playfully] Lighten up a little bit. It's only the end of the world.
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Doctor Gaius Baltar: So the fate... of the entire human race depends upon my wild guess.
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[last lines]
Commander William Adama: [Cain has not given Tyrol and Helo the courts martial that she promised she would, and has sentenced them to death. Adama argues over the radio] You told me they'd get a fair trial. What kind of trial could they have possibly had?
Admiral Helena Cain: I assure you I heard them out. I weighed their statements against those of the guards and I took into consideration their service records and commendations. It was a difficult decision Commander, but I dare say it was a fair one.
Commander William Adama: They have the right to have their case heard by a jury!
Admiral Helena Cain: I am a flag officer on detached service during a time of war. Regulations give me broad authority in this matter.
Commander William Adama: [to Tigh] Launch the fighters.
[to Cain]
Commander William Adama: You can quote me whatever regulation you'd like. I'm not going to let you execute my men!
Admiral Helena Cain: I highly suggest you reconsider that statement, Commander.
Colonel Jack Fisk: Admiral, Galactica is launching Vipers and a Raptor.
Admiral Helena Cain: Commander, why are you launching Vipers?
Commander William Adama: Please arrange for Chief Tyrol and Lieutenant Agathon to be handed over to my marines as soon as they arrive.
Admiral Helena Cain: I don't take orders from you!
Commander William Adama: Call it whatever you like. I'm getting my men.
Admiral Helena Cain: You are making *such* a mistake!
Commander William Adama: I'm getting my men!
[hangs up]
Admiral Helena Cain: Action stations.
[Alarm sounds]
Colonel Jack Fisk: Admiral, this will spiral out of control fast.
Admiral Helena Cain: Launch the alert vipers. Adama has taken us over the line. He's left me with no choice. Launch the alert vipers.
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Commander William Adama: Sometimes, you have to roll a hard six.
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Crewman Specialist Socinus: Hey, Cally, is it true? Did you really bite that guy's ear off?
Crewman Specialist Cally: He's lucky that's the only thing I bit off.
Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: [proudly] That's my girl!
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Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: [Tyrol is working on Starbuck's captured cylon raider] What seems to be the trouble, Chief?
Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Well, your new boyfriend's a bit of a jerk, sir.
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: It's a girl.
Chief Petty Officer Tyrol: Well, if you don't mind her goo all over your face, you're welcome to her, sir.
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Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: [in a deleted scene after Laura Roslin asked him if what she did was a mistake] I believe that it is never a mistake to follow your heart.
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Commander William Adama: [giving a speech in the Hanger Deck] We have struggled since the attacks... trying to rely on one another. Our strength and our only hope as a people, is to remain undivided. We haven't always done all we could to insure that. Many people believe that the scriptures, the letters from the gods, will lead us to salvation. Maybe they will. But the gods shall lift those who lift each other." And so, to lift all of us, let me present once again the president of the colonies, Laura Roslin.
[many members of the audience applaud but some do not. Adama walks to the crowd and begins to clap in rhythm. The crowd slowly catches on and eventually the entire Hanger Deck is applauding in rhythm as a sign of respect for the reinstated president]
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Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: [Starbuck had sex with Baltar] I don't owe you anything.
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: No, you don't owe me anything 'cause I'm just a C.A.G., and you're just a pilot!
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Right.
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: Pilot who can't keep her pants on.
Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace: Right.
Captain Lee 'Apollo' Adama: Oh, it is just like old times, Kara. Like when you got drunk and you couldn't keep your hands off that major from wherever...
[Starbuck punches Apollo, and Apollo instantly punches her right back]
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Doctor Gaius Baltar: [Baltar has a two-way argument with Roslin and Number Six at the same time] Well, quite frankly, I don't give a flying frak whether you believe me or not, all right? Because I've had it, I am... I'm tired of being pushed and prodded around like I'm some kind of toy. I'm not your plaything!
Number Six, President Laura Roslin: [simultaneously, in stereo] Plaything?
Doctor Gaius Baltar: I don't work for you and uh, quite frankly, I don't have to sit any more and take this kind of abuse from either of you!... Er,
[points at Billy]
Doctor Gaius Baltar: *you* either... either in *here*, either in there, wherever it is...
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Admiral Helena Cain: [Cain has been beating, raping and torturing her own copy of Number Six, who now has a gun to her head] Frack you.
Number Six: You're not my type.
[shoots Cain]
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Various Characters: [Repeated throughout the series] Oh my Gods!
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Commander William Adama: Keep jumping.
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Romo Lampkin: I understand that you had a romantic relationship with my client.
Number Six: Gaius Baltar is a brilliant, gifted human being. In the time I've known him, he's made a sport out of mendacity and deception. He is narcissistic, feckless, self-centered, and vain. I'm the one who should have stabbed him.
President Laura Roslin: Things are looking up.